I now understand that when I left that glass there, it hurt my wife—literally causing pain—because it felt to her as if I had just said, “Hey. I don’t respect you or value your thoughts and opinions. Not taking four seconds to put my glass in the dishwasher is more important to me than you are.” Great read for anyone looking to improve themselves for the sake of a relationship. It is focused more on the Man, but he is sharing how his marrage ended and how he could have prevented it. Still a great read for females. Instead of reading this book, I recommend that you read a book by someone with training in working with couples (e.g., Gottman, Perel, any licensed marriage and family therapist, etc). If I had known that this drinking-glass situation and similar arguments would actually end my marriage—that the existence of love, trust, respect, and safety in our marriage was dependent on these moments I was writing off as petty disagreements—I would have made different choices. Then a bunch of things we historically take for granted like bars and restaurants and hair salons closed, and—BAM—it’s a global pandemic, and in the context of life disruption and news coverage, we were collectively experiencing the biggest news story of my, at the time, 41 years of life.

P49 My wife, over and over again, head me promise to hurt her again in the future. I thought I was intelligently sharing a different way to think about it so that my wife could adjust her silly feelings so she wouldn't be inconvenienced by them. I hate that this book exists. Let me explain. I hate that there needs to be a book like this to appeal to it’s main audience: insecure men Ill equipped to treat their wives like rational beings.But still. What will really matter is what it will or won’t mean to the people in the fight. The husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and fathers and mothers. Maybe especially the mothers, because of how much they invisibly give.

It makes her seem ridiculous and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations. But it wasn’t the dishes, not really—it was what they represented. Matt Fray has a way of lacing truth with humor. He puts words to the human experience in a way that allows us to feel not only witnessed, but also to have hope rise from our all-too-common relational tragedies. I have loved his writing and his advice from the first day I encountered him, and this book is no exception. Thanks for the amazing work you do in the world, Matt." — Mark Groves, founder of Create the Love As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times. And then there is the oblivious dunce who truly doesn’t understand how a dish by the sink could be elevated to a marriage problem. I don’t categorise these people the same.Invalidation is the key no-no. What is invalidation? Making someone feel less valid. Less human. Less respected. Basically, recognize your spouse is an equal human. Why'd he go and quote that crappy, fraud Glennan Doyle. Many people say, "we can do hard things." I say it all the time. She shouldn't get credit. She's a fraud. And a scissors. Just like the other fraud Hag Lizabeth Gilbert. If the fraud Brene Brown joins their trio then the world will end. That these little, seemingly banal everyday things that seem so inconsequential in the moment slowly kill trust and intimacy when they pile up over the years. Like leaving dishes by the sink?

Ok, first of all YES IT IS REPETITIVE. I don’t know if he was just chopping and pasting pieces of blogs or filling space or if he really believes men need to hear the information twenty times before they get it (but what do I know? Maybe they do?), but it repeats itself so much. The author also seems to be very honest in his reflections of where he failed and was a shitty partner, to the extent that I can't but agree with the chapter where he mused that it's a wonder his ex-wife married and had a child with him in the first place. However, it's impressive growth that he's undertaken since then, so you gotta give him credit for that.Perfect for a trivia night or a long trip, #TrainTeasers will both test your knowledge of this country`s rail system and enlighten you on the most colourful aspects of its long history. Meet trunk murderers, trainspotters, haters of railways, railway writers, Ministers for Transport good and bad, railway cats, dogs and a railway penguin. This is NOT a book for number-crunching nerds. Many of the answers are guessable by the intelligent reader. It is a quiz, yes, but also a cavalcade of historical incident and colour relating to a system that was the making of modern Britain. I get what this guy is trying to convey that he (and many men) should step up to be more accountable and ownership, but he shouldn't place all the blame on himself. His ex-wife was somewhat responsible of the divorce. I'd say it was 80/20. Not 100/0 like he's taking the martyrs role and going to die on his hill alone for the sake of responsibility and to get likes on his posts. Matt Fray bravely takes us on a tour of the male brain in relationships and how we can become our own worst enemy. By doing so, he reveals why we (men and women) get it wrong so often and what we can do to fix it. The truth is that when it comes to complex matters of the heart, we often don’t take the time to recognize the role WE play in conflict, and too often invalidate each other without truly understanding how our actions impact the person we love. This Is How Your Marriage Ends is the book we have been waiting for – an entertaining, honest, and truly practical guide for saving our relationships.” — Justin Baldoni And it's precisely this rarity that makes this book and Fray's confessions so compelling. He started out like most recently divorced men, blaming the demise of his marriage on his wife making a "big deal" out of "trivial things." But in his aloneness, he did the soul-searching that led to his 180 or at least allowed him to talk a good talk. I believe in his sincerity in wanting to save other couples from his fate. The final chapter where he details the day his wife and son moved out is like a gut punch. It haunts me. How many of us have heard "well I spoke with my friend about you and she says you are acting like a jerk"