This ACT cognitive defusion worksheet from our Toolkit gives more coverage of how the approach can be used for more adaptive ways of relating to psychological experiences. Moulds, M. L., Kandris, E., Starr, S., & Wong, A. C. (2007). The relationship between rumination, avoidance, and depression in a non-clinical sample. Behaviour research and therapy, 45(2), 251-261. How to effectively handle the painful feelings and stressful thoughts that inevitably occur in every relationship." Use this free Personal Values Worksheet to help you. Committed Action Worksheets 8. Commitment, Obstacles, and Strategies While our circumstances and psychological experiences might change, an element of ourselves remains stable throughout.

Sheri Turrell, PhD “Having a successful relationship is hard work, especially given all the myths about finding your one true soulmate. In this updated book, Russ Harris explodes these myths and provides you with a practical handbook to navigate the complexities of relationships in a realistic, heartfelt, and meaningful way. You’ll be given all the tools and techniques you need to build your relationship and create a connection that is deep, fulfilling, and lasting.” Then, over a period of several minutes, invite them to try and suppress the unwanted thought, any way they might like to go about it. The third prompt on this worksheet asks them to approximate how often it crossed their mind through that brief period. In this space, make a note of it so this figure is visual.

This worksheet is adapted from Letting a Little Non-verbal Air Into the Room, an academic publication by Ciarrochi & Robb (2005). As a detached scientific observer, you need to be impartial. You’re separate from these experiences and avoid merging into them to maintain your perspective. You are a separate observer. Try The Observer meditation yourself to practice decentering and reappraising your cognitions (Hayes-Skelton & Graham, 2013). The full exercise can be found in our Positive Psychology Toolkit. Values Clarification Worksheets 6. Values and Problems

Have you tried any of these? How would you describe your own personal variants on any of the activities above? Let us know in the comments, or ask us any questions you might have. Happy practice! Hayes-Skelton, S., & Graham, J. (2013). Decentering as a common link among mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal, and social anxiety. Behavioural and cognitive psychotherapy, 41(3), 317-328.Reflect on the roles that you play daily—are you a mother? A leader at work? Sometimes a team player? A daughter? A caregiver? Even when we aren’t consciously adopting a role in the world around us, we are doing so. And yet, a part of us remains constant despite this role shifting. During that period, did the thought lose any perceived importance or become less salient? Or did it become more restricting and more prominent?”

Dr Russ Harris is a medically-qualified doctor, stress consultant, executive coach, trainer, author, and a leading authority in the powerful new paradigm of Psychological Flexibility. (This is a revolutionary new development in human psychology that enhances performance, reduces stress, and improves health and wellbeing.) Dr Russ regularly presents workshops on Psychological Flexibility at both national and international psychology conferences, and has a thriving business traveling around Australia running training seminars for psychologists, coaches and a variety of health professionals. Emotional avoidance is another ineffective strategy that people tend to use when uncomfortable thoughts or feelings arise. As short-term responses avoidance may seem helpful, but over the longer term it reinforces the seeming intolerability of these mental experiences.First, it’s never always comfortable talking about relationships with people. Some things we want to face and need to think over being alone. Because the decisions need to be taken we are alone ultimately. Job/career – What career goals matter to you? What kind of employment? Do you aspire to particular qualities as a worker? What sort of professional relationships do you want to develop?