Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire. Understand your strengths and then use them to teach others. Furthermore, the idea helps others identify their strengths and teach and manage to those strengths as well.” And, once more, shall we, who have gained so much, forego this gain, the earliest, most natural gain of mankind? If we have to a great extent done so, as I verily fear we have, what strange fog-lights must have misled us; or rather let me say, how hard pressed we must have been in the battle with the evils we have overcome, to have forgotten the greatest of all evils. I cannot call it less than that. If a man has work to do which he despises, which does not satisfy his natural and rightful desire for pleasure, the greater part of his life must pass unhappily and without self-respect. Consider, I beg of you, what that means, and what ruin must come of it in the end.

I am as sure of one thing as that I am living and breathing, and it is this: that the dishonesty in the daily arts of life, complaints of which are in all men's mouths, and which I can answer for it does exist, is the natural and inevitable result of the world in the hurry of the war of the counting-house, and the war of the battlefield, having forgotten--of all men, I say, each for the other, having forgotten, that pleasure in our daily labour, which nature cries out for as its due. Most people who claim to be a 'people person' actually aren't. Kerpen's book shows how to actually become one. Thoughtful and inspiring, The Art of People is as important for leaders as it is for the rest of us." Take the time to evaluate people and relationships before committing time to them or blowing them off completely. LEARN HOW TO READ OTHER PEOPLEOn the other end of the scale, we are all busy and often can’t afford to give people our time. Sometimes when you are unsure about the value someone can offer you, you’ll blow them off without giving them a chance. Although this can work in your favour, sometimes you might be missing out on valuable opportunities. Remember a few of your favourite school teachers. How was their teaching beneficial to you and how did they affect your performance. Step 1, as Carrie shared with me, is to refuse to believe that you can’t. No matter how different a person is, no matter how you may feel when you’re around her, no matter what her actions are, you have to believe that with some effort you will be able to understand her. Now incorporated in the Handbook of Indian Art, by Dr. (now Sir George) Birdwood, published by the Science and Art Department Kerne also emphasises the importance of being vulnerable, even to the point of tears. In doing this you are opening yourself up to someone else and they will feel a deeper connection. They will be able to relate to you and your vulnerability and this can be incredibly powerful in establishing a connection. So don’t be afraid to cry!

If I said yes to fewer things, I realized, I could be more outstanding in the things I said yes to. It wasn’t easy (fellow Threes out there can sympathize with me, I’m sure), but now I am able to say no to opportunities to speak or do interviews so that I can be more outstanding at other things. I rewrote the script once I understood what really motivates me, and you can do the same thing. People, in general, don’t want advice even when they ask for it. They just want to feel heard. As you practice and get good at mirroring, you will help people feel heard, and they will love you for it.” LEARN HOW TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE And in art, and in that preparation for it without which no art that is stable or worthy can be, the raising, namely, of those classes which have heretofore been degraded, the practice of these virtues would make a new world of it. For if you are rich, your simplicity of life will both go towards smoothing over the dreadful contrast between waste and want, which is the great horror of civilised countries, and will also give an example and standard of dignified life to those classes which you desire to raise, who, as it is indeed, being like enough to rich people, are given both to envy and to imitate the idleness and waste that the possession of much money produces. See it as an experiment, then,” Carrie said. “An experiment to see if you can understand someone very different from you. Ask questions, then shut up and listen.” If there is one axiom that applies across any and all business, it is that you need to build relationships first, then do business. No one lives this mantra everyday more consistently or more effectively than Dave Kerpen. That's why The Art of People is such an important and enjoyable read. Dave's insights and unique perspective make this mandatory reading for anyone and everyone interested in how to engage with their customers and build meaningful and valuable relationships. Buy it. Read it!"Strong people skills are how I built my business. I find it’s a common thread amongst all successful people, and no matter what level your people skills are at today, after reading this book you will see a dramatic improvement!” Kerne explains that you really want to be influential, you want to encourage people to come up with YOUR idea ‘all on their own’. There are a few ways you can do this: That last word brings me to the very kernel and heart of what I have come here to say to you, and I pray you to think of it most seriously--not as to my words, but as to a thought which is stirring in the world, and will one day grow into something. Kerne points out something we all know to be true, humans love to talk about themselves. This is a fact and something that’s not going to change. The reality is that whenever you are having a conversation, almost everyone would rather be talking about themselves than listening to someone else. So, there’s your chance to tap in, listen to what they say, be attentive and start learning and understanding more about someone.