If you want to try a handjob (as a giver or receiver), talk about it with your partner. "If you want to try something new, you can turn it into a sexy conversation," says Leach. Strokers: Strokers (a.k.a. masturbation sleeves) fit around or over the penis and mimic the feeling of a vagina or anus (and sometimes even resemble body parts). Some strokers are open on one end, while others are closed. Many are textured on the inside, providing additional stimulation to the penis head, shaft, or both. These textures “add types of stimulation that a person's hand alone wouldn't give,” says Queen. Popular strokers include the Fleshlight and Tenga Egg. The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive, inaccurate, and contributes to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. It’s unhelpful and I have a lot of feelings about it. We opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V.

If you fancy the popular rabbit-style dildo, the Wall Banger Suction Cup Vibrator, offers ‘shivering ears’ so that your clitoris is stimulated at the same time.Now for the fun part. To start the handjob, figure out together where this handjob is going to lead. Leach says that whether a handjob is just a handjob and will be taken to climax, or if it’s going to be part of more extensive play leading to intercourse, is important to discuss beforehand so there are no surprises. "Pressure is also important in handjobs. Speak to your partner before, during and after the handjob about what kind of touch, grip and speed they like," she advises. The broad head of the wand delivers rumbly vibrations that start pretty gentle and ramp-up to you-can-feel-it-in-your-teeth strength. Two cool things are going on here, though. First, the rumbly vibrator head is sort of insulated from the rest of the wand, so it never makes your hand tired or numb from being vibrated. Second, the shape of the head means you can use the flat end or edges to stimulate broad areas of any erogenous zone, but you can use the edge for surprisingly precise targeted stimulation. Suffice it to say, the Magic Wand Mini is one of my new absolute faves. The phallus is what’s commonly referred to as the shaft of the penis, and it includes a couple of different erogenous zones. The glans is the top of the phallus, usually referred to as the “head,” and the frenulum is a thin strip of connective tissue on the underside of the glans that can be particularly sensitive to targeted stimulation. Last but not least, the anus is, well … it's the butthole. The rectum is the interior portion that attaches to the anus. Both of these areas can be sensitive to internal and external stimulation.

We’v also rounded up a few more cute and comfortable sets of sex cuffs great for beginners and experienced players. I’m a little freaked out by the idea of restraints. How can I make sure my partner and I both stay safe? So, there’s no shame in asking a new sexual partner if they’ve been tested recently, and taking extra measures to protect yourself. Some people like to do handjobs with latex gloves on, which kill two birds with one stone by adding a layer of protection and being super kinky. Who said handjobs were boring? How to give a good handjobDo a sexy meditation, as such. You can also voice your thoughts out loud to your partner (or to a new lover, over the phone) if that works better.