Having had this conversation with parents several times I became intrigued, and so wanted to delve a little deeper into this concept of ‘laziness’. I don't agree with everything the author said, but I listened and am now armed with additional knowledge and ways to help/cope/work with each of them as they grow. Also, and importantly, they have some kind of issues where they are super immersed in their kid's life, like they get all their self-esteem from their kids accomplishments. Why do they spend endless hours playing video games or glued to their phones and social media sites instead of studying?

The ‘could-try-harder’ boy who is too cool, too busy, or too engrossed in his Xbox to put in the hours on his academics. The author makes us realizing that controlling and being overinvolved parents actually cripple our children, and make them believe they can't do it. They develop multiple passions, and it’s a time in life for real engagement in hobbies and interests. I regularly give talks to parents and teachers, and I have, for several years, raised the topic of toxic perfectionism and over-competitiveness in our society. Every now and then a book comes along that stops you in your tracks, with multiple light bulb moments, and a really important message.

As someone who is always looking for new evidence and creative thinking about young adults’ mental health and wellbeing, I have read a LOT of books about the teenage brain or raising kids.

No magic pill , real advice for parents who want to WORK to change their relationship with their child and truly help him. The advice given might not work for every situation, but as a parent who also speaks to a lot of other parents, it carries validity for some situations. If you name a consequence, be prepared to enforce it, regardless of your son's complaints and threats.This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness. I am the father of a very successful daughter whose achievements were gained through hard work with little prompting from my wife and me. As school starts up again it’s important to mention the key study skills which will put your child in the best position to succeed this academic year. Remind him he controls his future, and it’s up to him to get engaged, and tackle his worries, but you will be there to help and support him.

I am sure my 12 year old will be very happy now that I will no longer be a walking self-help book giving him advise at every turn, and letting him learn his life-lessons from living his own life. And if you fall into what I perceive to be a very narrow strip of the population, you will probably find this a very helpful book.You will probably like the plan I come up with a lot less than one you come up with, so give it some thought. It has given me some strategies to employ when dealing with my kids, and ways to give them more independence in their lives.

There is always one idea that you had not considered, or a new vocabulary you needed to have conversations with your teen son. Frankly, I hadn't realized that a book like this needed to be written, but I guess that's my privilege speaking. He has presented widely to both parents and educators on opting out, child development, and learning disabilities, and has appeared on “Good Day New York” and other programs to discuss topics ranging from discipline to the impact of video games on children. This book was great at giving perspective and creating empathy for the “opt outs”, which was refreshing.

The parenting lessons in here are equally applicable to parenting girls but the insights are very much ‘what it feels like to be a teenage boy’ so not much help for parents of girls. However, as I was reading the introduction, I got already convinced that this book is going to be a great tool for me.