The Way I Used to Be is a story about trauma and life after it. Eden is raped by her brother's long time best friend after he sneaks into her bedroom one night. Please be warned the description of the rape is extremely graphic and unsettling, but it made the story that much powerful and moving for the author to force reader's inside Eden's head during every single second of the few minutes that would change her life forever. I thought the rape would be the most devastating part of the story, yet I was GUTTED when Eden's mom walks in the next morning and finds Eden frantic and covered in blood but assumes it's because Eden got her period for the first time. I wanted to scream as Eden was unable to find her voice and tell her mom what happened because she was so terrified. However, this was only the beginning of what has easily become the most devastating story I've ever read. And here is where I risk sounding insensitive. Because how dare I suggest that Eden goes through too much negative shit? Shouldn't this book show the horrible reality? Yes! Absolutely, yes! It should. But a series of terrible events does not make a good book. but i did today i dont know why i just kinda forced myself to do it because havent it on my shelf felt just as triggering as it would to read it. so i read it. and whoa. it was intense and horrible to read in the kind of way that it physically hurt and i was shaking and crying and i wanted to throw up but i didn't stop reading. Initial reaction: Man, this book hit my heart in so many places. It's a read that definitely hurts and has many angles that hit well on its subject matter, but it's not without flaws. In my full review, I hope I can expand on this. this book shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault. eden's whole life changes the night her brother's best friend rapes her. told over the course of four years, we get to see how eden cope's with her trauma and grows as a person.

Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Libra Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Librarians Group is the official group for requesting additions or updates to the catalog, including: As part of my work with UN Women, I have started reading OUR SHARED SHELF IS CURRENTLY DORMANT AND NOT MANAGED BY EMMA AND HER TEAM. It felt like a very natural progression for me, moving from visual art to writing. I always wrote--a lot of journaling, poetry, that sort of thing. And when I got out of college and grad school, I found that for the first time in many years, I no longer had a studio space to create art in, so I started going smaller and smaller with my artwork, incorporating mixed media and pieces of my writing and poetry into the art I was making, until writing ended up becoming my main creative outlet. My heart was torn apart right from the first chapter! And as the story progressed, we gained insight into Edy's breakdown. She leaves her pals in the middle of life, gets drunk like there's no tomorrow, and sleeps with individuals to undo the effects that night's events had on her body and mind.I would have to say that if you have been raped, this book will either destroy you or make you feel less alone, but it may be a trigger so please read at your own risk.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be. Even with those qualms, I still appreciated what this story had to offer. I still think this is a narrative worth perusing because it shows some hard fought battles and an eye to horrifying experiences that happen far more often than not with experiences with rape/SA. But I would also argue that it's important for people (teens and adults) to realize that survivors of rape are not all-encompassed by the terms "broken" or "damaged" - nor are their shaped by that experience alone. This is something that I feel many YA and NA books need to recognize and expand upon, and I feel like "The Way I Used to Be" could've had further expansion to make it hit home that much more. That said, I think books like these are very important because there really is no right way to be a victim, and even if you wear revealing clothes or sleep around, rape is still rape. Painting people as "ideal victims" contributes to rape culture and makes it easier to write off testimony. So I'm really glad that books like this exist, which explore what trauma looks like in more muddied waters. Bless the morbid and gloomy person who brought this book onto the cruise ship so that I could read it, too.

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These characters were so real and this was such a great portrayal of the ugly side of being a victim after rape as a teen. I loved seeing the progression from year to year and how dark Eden was becoming (also, i didn't fail to notice the name significance here, also nice apple add in there). The way she was looking at herself like she’s this disgusting,worthless,ugly human being really broke my heart 💔 It was too much being in her head and seeing how she was so fragile and vulnerable on the inside but pretending to be mean and tough on the outside. I just want justice for her. She deserves everything 🫂

i loved reading this book. even after putting it down after the first chapter i couldn't help myself but think about continuing. and so it went on: i woke up in the morning and basically flew to this book. 🙃 Looking up at her, I feel so small. And Kevin’s voice moves like a tornado through my mind, whispering—his breath on my face—No one will ever believe you. You know that. No one. Not ever. Come on, Minnie,” Dad says to me, using my pet name. Minnie as in Mouse, because I was so quiet. He gestured at the food on the table. “Sit down. Everything’s getting cold.”The Way I Used To Be is a debut novel that shares the story of Eden who struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault. Starting high school didn't change anything for Eden, she is still the good girl she ever was. But her world crashes down the night her brother's best friend rapes her in her own bedroom. Everything that was simle becomes complex. All that she loved, she now hates. Nothing makes sense anymore. She knows she should say something, but she can't, instead buring everything that has happened. And she buries the way she used to be. The story itself has its own issues such as weak characterization and the timeskips through her four years of high school result in a lot of probably-important scenes being lost. For instance, the moment Eden went from calling her parents by their names instead of Mom and Dad. That's a pivotal moment in a character's development, but all I know is it happened sometime between her junior and senior years. The Way I Used To Be utterly failed to live up to its potential.

This is the way the world works, apparently. I can’t believe I’m only figuring this out now. It’s simple really. All you have to do is act like you’re normal and okay, and people start treating you that way.”Few SA/A novels cover as wide a period of time as The Way I Used to Be does. Four years! Most novels will cover a few months of the aftermath or a year at the most. This extended timeline, however, goes to waste. Four years can span the time from crime to trial or from abuse to the beginning of healing, but Eden’s four years are one long downward spiral with significant events omitted. For instance, at some point between the end of her junior year and the start of her senior year, Eden begins referring to her parents by their names instead of Mom and Dad. Why? What did they do, if anything? What happened? There’s no worth in Smith’s premise of showing the long-term effects of rape if such turning-point moments in Eden’s life remain unwritten.