Deciding on the structure of the book was difficult and I must’ve changed my mind dozens of times about the right structure. If you are anything like me, you will be stuck in your lifelong pattern of giving the “correct”, socially desirable answer to questions.

I think there will be a lot of people who feel way more confident seeking assessment as a result of reading it. A fascinating insight into how challenging life can be when one doesn't fit into many of the normative expectations and accommodations for 'neurotypical' people.And that’s honestly what makes it so compelling as a book too, the fact that it isn’t a scientific analysis, it’s an experience. I know that growing up I would have been much more comfortable being referred to as “autistic” than the terms regularly used by my peers to describe me -words like weirdo, freak, and others I wouldn’t want to put into print. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and looked forward to reading about Thom-Jones' experiences as an Autistic woman. Sandra does an excellent job of describing the many traits that autistic people may present, how they have shown up in her life and possible opportunities for support.

I thought that’s what everybody did – or at least everybody who, like me, didn’t seamlessly move through life getting everything right. Many of the common day to day experiences and challenges Autistic people face are discussed, from discovering you are Autistic later in life, to sensory sensitivities, social relationships, parenting, work, burnout, and so much more. She shares her path to diagnosis, the costs of masking her true self and the decision to disclose her autism. As such, the book is easy to read, while being packed with facts, and footnotes for more information.

One of the hardest things as a late diagnosed autistic person was reflecting back on my experiences as a child, adolescent, young adult, and even somewhat older adult and realising how much different my life would have been if I had been diagnosed earlier. Success and autism, it is believed, are mutually exclusive; if you have a range of support needs, then you cannot be considered successful.

This book has the propensity to make visible that which was previously invisible and to impact people that matter to us, one conversation at a time. I reached a point in my life where I was unhappy, agitated, confused, and felt like something fundamentally essential was missing from my life, but I had no idea what it was. like not knowing what the rules are for communication, unable to read facial expressions and prosopagnosia or not remembering faces, avoiding eye contact while conversing (making 2 way zoom very difficult), needing recovery time alone after draining social contacts, meltdowns (overt) and shutdowns (covert) when stimulation becomes too great. We are not alone in our every day struggle against the complexities and multiple facades of a layered world.

My relationship with masking has changed fundamentally since my diagnosis, although I would have to say that it is still evolving. She is also careful to explain that her experiences are not universal; each Autistic person has different strengths and support needs. The book ends with an extensive list of references for readers wishing to extend their knowledge even further. Here I was, a person with an abject fear of failure and a strong need for control, who had gone through school with the absolute conviction that anything less than 100% on an exam was tantamount to failure. I learned a lot and it will definitely help me to be more inclusive and understanding of people with autism.