There are two main answers: either you see something or someone else as responsible for what happens to you, or you see yourself as the primary agent, mainly responsible for how your life plays out. Proactive people are those who, in essence, do not depend on the environment to guide and shape their life, but rather take active responsibility and do things on their own. They focus on their scope of action, on what they want, and on how they can bring those things about. Naturally, their attitude puts them in a frame of mind that focuses on solving problems and seeking opportunities. Broadly, when it comes to their life path, they are the ones calling the shots.

People who are cool, calm, and collected just have something about them—what is this X factor that lets them remain so composed and in control of themselves? While overly anxious people flap around and freak out, calm people seem to be inhabiting an entirely different mindset. Let’s begin this book by looking more closely at exactly what this mindset is, and how you can go about cultivating it in yourself. Overthinking falls into two categories: ruminating (rehashing the past) and worrying (making often catastrophic predictions about the future). Putting an end to rehashing, second-guessing, and catastrophic predictions is easier said than done. But with consistent practice, you can limit your negative thinking patterns: When you complain, you are putting yourself in reactive mode. You are communicating to yourself and others that you are not responsible, and you relinquish your agency in favor of someone else’s. One way to be more proactive is to get positively ruthless with the bad habit of complaining. Nothing good ever comes of complaining! You may think you feel a bit better after whining about something you’re unhappy with, but all you do is disempower yourself further (and probably bore others). Studies also show that overthinking leads to serious emotional distress. To escape that distress, many overthinkers resort to unhealthy coping strategies, such as alcohol or food.Full Book Name: The Overthinking Cure: How to Stay in the Present, Shake Negativity, and Stop Your Stress and Anxiety (The Path to Calm Book 4) So, if we want to be genuinely calmer and more relaxed people, how can we start moving toward the proactive rather than reactive mindset? Drop Blaming and Complaining What’s more, the book will provide you scientific approaches to completely change the way you think and feel about yourself by ending the vicious thought patterns. Discover the proven strategies and actionable steps to break free from the grip of overthinking and transform your life. Dwelling on your problems isn’t helpful, but looking for solutions is. Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem. Instead of asking why something happened, ask yourself what you can do about it.

Average stuff. This book aims to help cure overthinking, says that don't judge people or yourself on pg 95 last para and then the author writes isn't it funny how human beings go out of their way to torment themselves with the memories of the past or worries of the future? On pg 99. Whether you’re a chronic overthinker or need to make a tough decision, you’ve probably had sleepless nights when your brain just won’t turn off. It happens to all of us at some point in our lives – we all experience events that cause us worry or stress. While it’s human nature to think things through when making a decision or evaluating a situation, it becomes overthinking when you can’t get out of your own head. Easy read, felt more like a guide, where from chapter to chapter you are just taken through a set of rules with short explanation and 1-2 examples tops. Book is definitely both on and to the point, ideas and techniques described are more or less valuable, but nothing that blew me away. Let’s return to the question: who is in control of your life? Well, it depends on you! You can choose to be in control of your own life, or you can forfeit that choice to others. The thing is, nobody can force you to take charge of your own life—you either embrace that agency or you fail to embrace it.Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” The Overthinking Cure: How to Stay in the Present, Shake Negativity, and Stop Your Stress and Anxiety Whether they beat themselves up over a mistake they made yesterday or fret about how they’re going to succeed tomorrow, overthinkers are plagued by distressing thoughts—and their inability to get out of their own heads leaves them in a state of constant anguish. Before you can learn how to stop overthinking everything, you must get to the true root of the problem. Often overthinking is a byproduct of anxiety or depression. If this is the case, you can treat your anxiety or depression to reduce overthinking . Overthinking can increase symptoms of depression , elevate your stress levels and cloud your judgment.

Take note of your inner monologue. Negative self-talk is a telltale overthinking symptom . You have “paralysis by analysis” Proactive people consciously create the conditions they desire, and they know that they are the only ones who are empowered to do so. This takes a degree of mindful awareness, honesty and courage. It also means they have to be mature enough to shoulder some risk—if they fail, they know that only they are responsible and can blame nobody. This is something that the world’s most successful people realize – and the only difference between them and everyone else is that they are able to harness the power of thoughts to help them achieve. They’ve learned how to stop overthinking and start taking action .Now, what does all this have to do with cultivating an attitude of inner calm? As you can probably guess, those who are calm and composed as people tend to act from a proactive mindset. They feel calm because they are self-assured and confident in their own agency. They’re not anxious in situations because they know that someone is in control—them! Because they have fully claimed their agency, they know that they always have options, they can always become aware of them and make conscious choices, and they can always make the best of even the worst possible outcomes. I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that presentation. My hands will shake, my face will turn red, and everyone will see that I’m incompetent. Reactive: Look at all these things and people and situations that aren’t the way I want them to be . . . Overthinkers often focus on the past, expending energy on “what ifs” and “should haves.” Those who understand how to not overthink know that the past is just that. It can’t be changed. The only thing you can change is the meaning you give to it.

This puts you in active, problem-solving mode. Stop waiting for someone to come and save you; think of ways to help yourself. If you can act, then act. If you don’t like something, have the courage to change it or remove yourself from the situation. Think of it this way: not acting is also a choice, and if you remain in a situation you don’t like, what does that say? The good news is that you weren’t born an overthinker. Overthinking is the result of one fact of human existence: we all have patterns to our behavior . These patterns , good and bad, develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned. Now, I know what you’re thinking—surely it’s impossible to be truly proactive? After all, none of us is one hundred percent in control of our lives. This is true. Being proactive, however, doesn’t necessarily mean you always get your way; rather, it’s an orientation of mind and an attitude that says I can learn from mistakes. I can use my potential. I can try something new. In fact, a proactive person is also able to recognize when they don’t actually have an influence over outcomes, and they can comfortably relinquish control. What's more, the book will provide you scientific approaches to completely change the way you think and feel about yourself by ending the vicious thought patterns. Chapter 2: The Overthinking Cure: How to Stay in the Present, Shake Negativity, and Stop Your Stress and Anxiety

While I liked most of the ideas, explanations and tips in this, reading it turned into a bit of a chore and I really struggled to get through it. It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any other skill, but over time, it can decrease overthinking.