Second,” he says, “she must be deaf — so that even if I should cry out in my passion, she will not be able to recognise my voice.” Pretend you are West Ham by moving to a ridiculously massive house and ruining your family's life. @TwopTwips Dani Alves will stand trial for sexual assault in Spain as former Barcelona defender faces allegations of raping a woman, 23, in a nightclub last year These were the best of the West Ham ceremony jokes after their last game at Upton Park before a move to the Olympic Stadium was followed by a lengthy celebration of their time at the ground.

I think the current battle for seventh and avoiding the Europa league has been overlooked. Tottenham and Southampton are going toe to toe, both losing game after game to miss it. Spursman, United Kingdom. Whether you’re cooking ham or see it at the store, read the funniest ham puns to get yourself and everyone around you laughing non-stop. Photo by David Em/Box of Puns. Many big-name stars have played for The Hammers with some of the most notable including three of England's World Cup-winning team from 1966: captain Bobby Moore and goalscorers Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters. Other legendary players to have donned the famous claret shirt with the blue sleeves include Billy Bonds, Trevor Brooking, Frank Lampard Snr, Mark Noble and Vic Watson. This is the last season that topping the Fair Play table will be rewarded with a place in the Europa League. Instead, money will be given to the association to spend on respect-themed projects.Marcus Rashford dedicates his goal against Everton to his late cousin after breaking his eight-match drought Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer and Micah Richards debate their England starting XI for Euro 2024 with the trio disagreeing on THREE positions Tommy Fury parties with Chris Brown in Dubai nightclub with fans slamming the boxer for 'dancing to Sweet Caroline in his head' as star goes viral But Corberan is unlikely to be the immediate successor to Moyes, who is more likely to be replaced by a manager with Premier League experience like Dyche, Benitez or Santo, who is currently managing in Saudi Arabia.

Russell Brand. James Cordon. Ray Winstone. Steve Harris. Danny Dyer. Phil Jupitus. No, you haven’t stumbled onto a Celebrity Come Dine With Mein the seventh circle of hell. These are just a few of the famous faces that have a hammer-shaped hole in their heart.Erling Haaland hails Cristiano Ronaldo's 'incredible' goalscoring and admits he used to 'always watch' the superstar to help him improve as a kid A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an West Ham supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were West Ham supporters, too.