There are too many to name but Rae Langton, who spent a lot of time in Australia, is a huge inspiration for me, and I like to think about how to precissify Robert Adams’ remark which seems to me to get to the heart of moral philosophy: “we ought, in general, to be treated better than we deserve”.

In Stop Being Reasonable, philosopher Eleanor Gordon-Smith tells gripping true stories that show the limits of human reason. Susie realises her husband harbours a terrible secret, Dylan leaves the cult he’s been raised in since birth, Alex discovers he can no longer return to his former identity after impersonating someone else on reality TV. All of them radically alter their beliefs about the things that matter most.

Stop Being Reasonable

It was Hommel’s first time as a preceptor, and he “absolutely hit it out of the park,” Plagborg-Møller said. “Nicolas’ dedication, deep insight into the material and gentle personality made his precepts an essential bulwark against the stress of my demanding lectures.” I bought a robot vacuum cleaner and I like to follow him around and tell him he’s missed a spot. Amazing. Let’s get to know you better. What is a standard day in your life? While it’s true that some people find meaning in their career or use it to forge an identity they’re proud of, the fact that’s true for them doesn’t mean it should be for you. You’re not deviant for feeling this way – I’ve said elsewhere that the idea that work has moral value unto itself is a myth we pay for with the one resource we can never replenish: our time. It can be really difficult to stay focused on that question and not lapse into the others, especially if one has grown up in relative prosperity and freedom (at least compared with most of the planet for most of history). Although we have levels of possibility that many of our ancestors could only dream of, many of us don’t actually feel freer for it. So much opportunity can turn into the imperative to never waste any. In time you might need to appraise whether he’s someone you want to be friends with, but for now, you’re in an incredibly valuable position: you’re a close male friend. That gives you a lot of influence. Just by how you’re thinking of this, I feel confident you’ll use it well.

The problem with a pop-philosophy book is that the discussion felt entirely too short and left me wanting much more. I was really interested especially in her ending statements by the seeming illogicality of love and our failure to value emotion when engaging in discourse. What is love is a question that hasn't really been answered, and Gordon-Smith's musings on it were incredibly interesting. The catcalling segment was also engrossing, where men are confronted with how women don't like cat-calling yet are unable to square that with their inner narrative of women liking it and them just being normal men instead of utter creeps. The ending felt incredibly abrupt. I can't help but think this book could have been so much more because the thesis of this book is incredibly strong. The point of this book was that people don't change their minds by being rationally persuaded that they are wrong. I think the focus here is on fundamental beliefs, not a belief that a person has not given much thought to and is not very invested in. And one final note: however you decide to manage this relationship, try not to see it as simply your problem. It’s considerate of your husband not to want to upset his family – but you’re his family too. Your wellbeing needs to count in the inventory of feelings worth protecting. I read a lot, work on [podcast] episode plans, put several thousand post-it notes on the wall – each one a piece of tape from an interview, a fact, a piece of theory, a well-phrased, or a scene – and rearrange them until I can see a story unfolding alongside a philosophical idea. I read philosophy, listen to a lot of radio and podcasts because there are so many clever people in that sphere whose work I admire, and try to stop by 9pm. Although if I’m honest, that’s rare these days. You wrote a book – what is it about?Amanda Irwin Wilkins, director of the Princeton Writing Program, said Parton “empowers students to understand how, as apprentice scholars, their own arguments can join wider conversations at both the University and in public life.” Do you have a conflict, crossroads or dilemma you need help with? Eleanor Gordon-Smith will help you think through life’s questions and puzzles, big and small. Questions can be anonymous.

The examples in the book are of people who did change their mind, but not because of rational persuasion, or people who did not change their mind despite learning that the facts that were the basis of their beliefs were wrong. I didn't always find these example to work. A guy who loved his parents continued to love his parents and to think of them as being his parents even after finding out he was adopted. Well, so what? That does not seem irrational at all to me. One story was about a person who claimed to be abused as a child, but then as an adult she could not decide whether she had really been abused or not. This story seems to be more about the unreliability of memory than about reason. Gordon-Smith's thesis is that reason, rationalism and evidence are not predominant causal factors in the significant changes of mind we all experience in our lives. She offers some field-work and a few anecdotes to support this, but as I read the book I could not shake off the impression that Gordon-Smith is more concerned with showing us how smart and likeable she is, rather than probing deeply into this complex subject. What makes them change course? What does this say about our own beliefs? And, in an increasingly divided world, what does it teach us about how we might change the minds of others? The point here (which can be readinl seen in what passes for political debates across much of the Western world) is that not only is this presumption incorrect, it's not particularly helpful. The reassuring stuff first: lots of people do things in their teenage years that are mortifying to them years later. Getting an identity can feel like an urgent task during adolescence, as though if I throw on the regalia of being This Kind of Person then I’ll have the things I’m actually in need of, like self-understanding, or attractiveness, or independence. A lot of people try on all kinds of guises, from goths to young toastmasters, then shed them again before adulthood. Unfortunately reasoned conversation or punitive cutting-off are only rarely tools of conversionThe awardees are Eleanor Gordon-Smith from the Department of Philosophy, Nicolas Hommel from the Department of Economics, Hannah McLaughlin from the Department of Music, Evelyn Navarro Salazar from the Department of Chemical and Biological Engineering, Calvin Spolar from the Department of Chemistry, Aaron Su from the Department of Anthropology, William Wen from the Department of Politics, and Jessica Ye from the Princeton Neuroscience Institute. I have long been a believer that if only I could leapfrog over emotion could I be an unstoppable powerhouse for progress. The social constructs laid out as the foundation of this book suggest I am not alone. It is this thinking that reason is the apogee that has "altogether more to do with selling us... an anaesthetised dream if an optimised future where... nothing hurts". But is this even real? There’s nothing wrong with living at home if it works for your family: I’ve said before that splitting generations between residences is a relatively recent invention and it’s not a coincidence that we spend more on property when we think living separately is the only way to have dignity. The argument isn’t that you should move because that’s what society wants, or that there’s anything wrong with accepting parental assistance when it’s enthusiastically offered. I’m less worried about his political views than I am about his views on masculinity. His political beliefs are ultimately up to him, and politics are for many people oddly independent of their actual character. But a dismissal of women, or a narrative that men have been made victims of feminist progress – that can be much harder to shift.