I feel like every time I get close to accepting myself as-is I remember that Dr. Laura says ‘Don’t you dare gain weight’ and that my mom taught me to keep yourself sexy for your man. Typing this out, I realize how horrible this all sounds. My husband is a great guy but he does love my skinnier body more than my larger one for sure. He still loves me and wants me and all but there is a difference in his level of praise, etc. I want him to keep wanting me for years to come but cannot keep wasting my life trying to lose twenty pounds.” Here’s the macro message: We are SO much more than bodies. Seems rote to type it out, yet the beauty/weight loss industry is worth BILLIONS of dollars, aimed specifically at women, and you’re telling me that’s just because beauty is just a fun hobby? Pfft. An indispensable resource for women of all ages, this is a guide to help us better connect to ourselves, to value ourselves, to love ourselves, and ultimately, to be ourselves." Jean Kilbourne, feminist activist, media critic, author, and creator of the film series “Killing Us Softly: Advertising’s Image of Women” A pertinent study of the countless, ever present misconceptions about female body image and why these delusions need to change.

I did agree with the idea that men should school their thoughts to not see women as objects. I will take it a step further: teach women not to see men as objects. I cannot tell you how many times I have been part of or overheard a conversation of a bunch of ladies admiring a male's physique in an objectifying way. If we are going to be fair, it has to be fair. How do you feel about your body? Have you ever stayed home from a social activity or other opportunity because of concern about how you looked? Have you ever passed judgment on someone because of how they looked or dressed? Have you ever had difficulty concentrating on a task because you were self-conscious about your appearance? At age 15, we both quit swimming—not because we hated to swim but because we hated the way we looked in our swimsuits. Our years of relentlessly trying to “fix” our bodies simply hadn’t worked. The second group is fighting to fit broader ideas of beauty and empowerment within the prison walls of objectification.Despite Chelsea Clinton’s front cover assertion that this book is “for women of all ages,” its message is very clearly targeted to women in their teens, 20s and 30s. That’s whose comments and posts are quoted by the authors, and that’s the demographic who, for the most part, are posting selfies on social media and chatting about their journeys to a ‘better bod’. The fact that you have a body — regardless of your appearance or ability level — means that you innately have access to physical power. Your body is an instrument to be used for your benefit, and not a burden to drag around, hiding and fixing along the way. Want to develop positive body image? When you learn to value your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like, you improve your body image and gain a more powerful sense of control. The truth is, regardless of what you look like, or what you think you look like, you can feel good about yourself because you are not your appearance. Value your body for what it can do by engaging in physical activity. It will change your life and boost your body image in a way you never thought possible. Our first book, More Than a Body, published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, is available everywhere! Get your copy today! Find it anywhere books are sold, including every retailer linked below: More Than a Body is a welcome salve for those who are weary of the internal war with their body. Through their groundbreaking body image resilience model, Lexie and Lindsay offer many practical ways to make peace with your body, showing how body image disruptions can be a pathway for healing, rather than provoke a descent into a shame spiral. Ultimately, readers will find real solutions to reunite with their whole, embodied selves.”

An indispensable resource for women of all ages, this is a guide to help us better connect to ourselves, to value ourselves, to love ourselves, and ultimately, to be ourselves."—Chelsea Clinton An indispensable resource for women of all ages, this is a guide to help us better connect to ourselves, to love ourselves, and ultimately, to be ourselves. —Chelsea Clinton, author, activist, and vice chair of the Clinton Foundation I was raised and live in a conservative religious culture (LDS) and have seen the emphasis on clothing standards for girls and women become more rigid in the last couple of decades. I bought into that mindset for a long time. This book perfectly explains how, despite our sincere desire to protect young women and teach them to respect and honor their bodies, we are Being Part of the Problem and There Is a Much Better Way. All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.If this fight is really about empowering women, we have to be careful. We have to recognize how severely the objectification and dehumanization of female bodies has stunted girls and women. How the epidemic of self-objectification, or constant fixation on appearance (whether you like your appearance or not), has crippled generations of women who could have used that mental energy on much more meaningful pursuits. Seeing and valuing yourself as more than a body will allow you to identify whether your relationship is healthy and founded on love and respect. You deserve nothing less. If you feel your primary value lies in the way your body appears, every rude comment, judging glance or withheld intimacy or kindness can be blamed on you and your body. Every ounce of rejection and coldness will feel deserved, and will hold intense power over you because you might even agree with it. It reinforces the very pain and shame you have learned to feel about yourself and your appearance — never good enough, never in control, never right. We have all been trained to blame ourselves for the love we don’t receive, but we can’t turn against ourselves. We can turn against objectification. Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. Regardless of what anyone else wears or does, you can decide to view them as a person, not an object. Respect others’ agency to make choices that are different from yours and treat them with dignity. After a few years of refusing to wear a swimsuit, our junior year of college Lindsay got an invitation to go cliff-jumping with a bunch of friends. With peer pressure, beautiful weather, and the memory of how much she loved to swim all pushing her to accept the invitation, she very reluctantly did. Here’s what happened: “The feeling I got when I jumped in the water and started swimming across the reservoir is almost indescribable. It sounds so cheesy, but I swear it was almost a spiritual experience. I felt incredible, and powerful, and was still a strong swimmer after all those years, and no one gagged when they saw me in a swimsuit. By throwing aside the fear of being invited to “be seen” in a swimsuit, I gave myself an opportunity for wonderful change. Without confronting my shame, I would never have experienced the overwhelming fulfillment of swimming again. The results of that decision have been life-changing. Seriously. Since that day 7 years ago, I have not missed an opportunity to go swimming. I regularly swim laps for exercise and some of my happiest memories of the past several years include fun summer days in the water. Use your body as an instrument – you’ll be so happy you did.”

One of the biggest barriers many women face when working to improve their body image and heal their relationship with their bodies is the judgment and rejection they fear from their romantic partners. This seems to be particularly true for women in heterosexual relationships who have grown up viewing and monitoring their bodies through a sexualized male perspective. When women are objectified and valued primarily as things to be looked at and consumed (visually or physically) in media and among people around us, it is not only men that learn to view women as parts and judge those parts according to carefully prescribed standards — we do the same to ourselves. This distances us from not only our own healthy body image, but also from our partners. But not the way the rest of the world tells you your body is powerful. We are constantly sold the lie that makeup, weight loss, new clothes, cosmetic surgery, etc., are empowering for women. The thing is, they’re not. We’re confusing “empowerment” with “feeling beautiful” or, more specifically, “feeling like other people think we look good.” Empowerment has to be so much more dynamic and encompassing than that. “Power” cannot be minimized to something that is gained and wielded through appearance or beauty. “Power” from beauty is cheap. It is fleeting and can be consumed and discarded at any moment. Your power isn’t just in your beauty; it’s in who you are and what you do. It is also in your physical power – the power to be, and do, and live, and move. Chapter 5 was probably my favorite, but the whole book was spot on. This is such an important book. A few of my favorite moments: Have you ever stayed home from a social activity or other opportunity because of concern about how you looked? Because of this book and the anger it stirred, I finally threw away my scale. It felt so liberating. I’m committing now to stopping that diet talk with friends and family. I’m raising my girls to believe their bodies are instruments, not ornaments. I’m deciding to trust my body. I’m striving to be fully present, not half present and half evaluating how I might be appearing to other people. I’m choosing to invest my time and energy in my family, my spirituality, creating a homey home, reading, and writing.We love these first-hand accounts of Beauty Redefined fans who found positive body image through the power of their own bodies in a huge variety of activities: That doesn’t mean a relationship where objectification is present is destined to fail or can’t be fixed, but it does mean that both you and your partner have some work to do if you want to progress. According to models of objectification, viewing someone as a body induces de-mentalization, stripping away their psychological traits. Here evidence is presented for an alternative account, where a body focus does not diminish the attribution of all mental capacities but, instead, leads perceivers to infer a different kind of mind. Drawing on the distinction in mind perception between agency and experience, it is found that focusing on someone's body reduces perceptions of agency (self-control and action) but increases perceptions of experience (emotion and sensation). These effects were found when comparing targets represented by both revealing versus nonrevealing pictures (Experiments 1, 3, and 4) or by simply directing attention toward physical characteristics (Experiment 2). The effect of a body focus on mind perception also influenced moral intuitions, with those represented as a body seen to be less morally responsible (i.e., lesser moral agents) but more sensitive to harm (i.e., greater moral patients; Experiments 5 and 6). These effects suggest that a body focus does not cause objectification per se but, instead, leads to a redistribution of perceived mind.

Anyone who pays the slightest bit of attention to modern culture is aware of the rampant objectification of women’s bodies, which has become even more prevalent and insidious with the expanding reach and scope of social media outlets. In their attempts to obtain an “ideal” weight or body type, women embark on often fruitless diet, exercise, and beauty routines. Kite and Kite, identical twin doctors whose physical attributes have been scrutinized by others and each other all their lives, provide refreshingly straightforward advice to help women let go of impossible goals and learn to love their bodies regardless of their outward appearances. They provide engaging arguments against comparing oneself to the images on social media, and they point out the problems with relying too much on the body mass index metric. “Other ways to evaluate our own health (often with the help of a medical professional) include measuring internal indicators like heart rate, blood pressure, blood sugar, blood lipids, and respiratory fitness,” they write. “Blood tests can reveal much more about a person’s metabolic health than their dress size can.” With the authors’ guidance and a commitment to self-acceptance, women will be able to ditch yo-yo dieting and costly beauty regimens. Perhaps more importantly, they will find the confidence to avoid jealous comparisons and even leave abusive relationships. “When you know…that you are more than a body,” they write, “you will find that your sense of self, empowerment, and life possibilities are expanding. You will find out that the path to fulfillment and achieving your personal potential is bigger and better than simply forcing your body to fit a perfect mold.”Recently, I have started biking and I am super excited by the way my body has responded. I have quadrupled my distance within 3 weeks, even after having the flu last week.” This book could save your life. In a lively and engaging style, Lindsay and Lexie discuss the grave harm caused by self-objectification and offer remedies that encourage resilience. A most welcome addition to the literature on body image.” Encourage them to be vulnerable. Ask them to open up about their own insecurities, whether they are body-related or not. Ask them how you can support them and build up their confidence. This will build trust and intimacy, which will strengthen your relationship. Encourage them to seek therapy to dig deep into how and when they learned to objectify people and how they can correct their thinking and heal their relationships and their own body image. Offer to work with them as you both learn healthier ways of seeing and relating to each other and your own bodies.