One day I hope I will actually pass as a woman and no-one is aware I am really a man. That would be quite thrilling to pull off and also it would fulfil the part of my persona that dreams of being female. For me it’s a clear ambition and an activity I really enjoy. Others have told me I must be homosexual and should admit it or I’m too serious. The ruth is I have a huge amount of fun with this and enjoy myself and though I want to make my female persona be convincing, I think of it as me being an heterosexual woman, I am not gay. I would (dare) to portray myself as the woman alongside a man but I have no desire to ever be intimate with a man. I suppose I see it as a form of validation of my efforts to be a convincing woman. Needham- I know your kind... I know you won't stop but *Urgh* My girlfriend and my son were buried in two unmarked graves here. Her family didn't want me visiting them, her brother especially, blamed me for what happened. They overdosed you see... But I knew the truth. It was the drug business that got them killed, and I wasn't gonna rest until every The police were at a standstill, a standoff with an unknown enemy. But in the Easminster’s CID’s defense, Thr Pygmilion ring’s heist had been at least 2 years in the making, considering that at least one of its suspected members had been in attendance the year before at the same function.

The flight attendants days later were interviewed, none of them=m could clearly remember any passengers fitting the descriptions of the priest, the smarmy Romeo, or the two mysterious ladies… That note, is all I have on him, his family, friends, past relationships and pain. Use it, and eliminate him. You'll be the hero.

It hadn’t been a bad time imprisioned down there, nor good either, after the door had been shut and bolted home on them. All outgoing flights made on the previous Thursday and Sunday afternoon were noted, most of them had been to and from the states. Len muttered something under his breath that unfortunately, David Wist, Magpie's husband, happened to hear* I had previously posted this picture a few years ago but soon lost my nerve and deleted it. I came across it again recently while looking through my photo archives that document my engagement with my transvestite activities. And I don’t want any sly remarks from you.” The older woman wags her heavily bejewelled fingers warningly. “You are on show this evening, and I expect nothing less than ladylike decorum in all manner of action and speech.”

I know that part of me desires to be female so this is part of my motivation in cross-dressing yet I also know I love the excitement and the thrill of dressing and trying to be female, it is a collision with my sexuality and upbringing. I also kind of dare myself to push the physicality somewhat. With their daughters and wife safely returned, the pressure was let off by the families. The insurance companies squawked a bit, but then there is no ever pleasing that lot! Founder Xenia Chen started conceptualizing the idea after learning through Facebook ads that 50 percent (yes, you read that right) of their existing customer base identified as male, with ages ranging from 20 to 75. A bonheur de jour is a type of lady's writing desk. It was introduced in Paris by one of the interior decorators and purveyors of fashionable novelties called marchands-merciers around 1760, and speedily became intensely fashionable. Decorated on all sides, it was designed to sit in the middle of a room so that it could be admired from any angle. It appeared that the women had been rather keen upon meeting the handsome actor in person, along with probably a few dozen other ladies in attendanceFor me to appear, or more accurately attempt to appear as a woman is a heady powerful emotional desire that I will openly admit I am drawn to. I simply adore dressing up as a woman and trying to pass myself off as a female. Surely this is not what a man should be doing? Well, that's what society may tell us yet I live as a man and love to be a woman. I lifted the lid and lying inside the box I saw a brand new pair of corsets wrapped in tissue paper. I saw the name “Court Royal” on the end of the box, and my mouth fell open. I was trembling, partly with excitement and partly with fear and trepidation. I was very excited to walk onto the wee set I had prepared for the photos...that sounds a bit grand for what was in fact a large white cloth. I had set up a couple of studio lights and I was now in my own little fantasy of being an actress posing for a photo-shoot. Getting the mix right unavoidably involves making some expensive but worthwhile investments. This can be a total game changer and the results can move you into a far more rewarding and better place with your female appearance. I found purchasing some quality lace front wigs made a difference so big I never saw it coming! It changed everything, especially how I felt and believed in my female persona. I had avoided these wigs for years as they cost too much money. I am older now with less responsibilities and a bit more income I can spend so I did commit to several lace front wigs the were on offer in a sale. The first time I wore one it was an incredible boost to my confidence and helped me realise I could change my appearance to be much better. For many of us who engage in transvestism we place ourselves in a difficult position which usually results in having a secret life or as many people have accused me of ‘living a lie’. Many partners, family members and friends can react negatively to the discovery of one’s transvestism and the phrases such as ‘liar’ and ‘breaking trust’ are expressed. It can be devastating for all concerned not just transvestites.

Eyeliner is definitely my weak area in terms of application. As I’m older now I usually soften all my liner with a blending brush and I usually apply two coats of mascara to my lashes. I have been using soft pink gel blusher in recent years which I blend in to soften the look once I have applied it to my cheeks. I usually use dark brown eyeshadow applied with an angled brush to define my eyebrows. Further investigation revealed that the magazine used was an Eastminster Diocesan magazine, and the article the letters were cut out from was one that told about the annual charity ball held at St . Davids? So they Pygmalion Ring had a bit of a sense of humour. It looks very curvy, but I can hardly breathe.” I gasped. By now my erection was constant, but Mum still said nothing about it. Some people tell me this is weird and perverted and I would be lying if I said such descriptions did not cause me distress as I probably deep down am seeking some form of acceptance and tolerance to be allowed to set free this aspect of my persona. The truth is I do feel quite comfortable presenting as a a woman and can feel distraught that I'm not really one at all. The male in me is also at odds with this recurring emotion and sometimes I can be dressed as a woman and find part of me screaming inside saying 'what on earth are you doing?'. It's upsetting yet I'm frequently on a real high and often with a highly enjoyable pleasurable thrill being generated by daring to try and look female. I was stunned, not realising that I would be seen by anyone else, and mum continued, “You can start doing some girls’ jobs now that you are dressed like a girl.”On the silver tray there is a selection of sparkling perfume bottles, which are handmade by an English artisan for the Little Green Workshop. Made of cut coloured crystals set in a gilt metal frames or using vintage cut glass beads they look so elegant and terribly luxurious. The faceted pink glass perfume bottle, made from an Art Deco bead came with the dressing table, which I acquired from Kathleen Knight’s Doll House Shop. I know it's not popular and I'm told unwelcome but I won't deny I do at times experience sexual arousal, usually during the transformation stage as of course I don't desire any tell tale reminders of being male once I am completely transformed as Helene. I also get a buzz at the notion of being sexy and feminine and like the idea of being seductive and being found desirable by men. That aspect is nothing to do with sex and everything to do with being selfish and vain. I enjoy the art of female illusion and attracting men is probably my ego being pandered to by the thrill of fooling a male into believing I'm female. I'm a shallow creature at heart I fear.