OP, I think the stress of everything going on in your wife's life (raising 4 kids under 6 years old, maintaining a full time job, dealing with a new city, tight money situation, and a husband that's gone 3 nights a week leaving her to do 100% of the child rearing and chores) has sent her over the edge of reason. I think the connection with the OW is less the romantic lovers kind and more because she provides your wife with emotional support and understanding. Your wife is latching on to a person who probably empathisizes with her situation. Ever since Director Sebastián Lelio's Disobedience premiered at TIFF in 2017, it's been the talk of the town among the five queer women who care about this kind of stuff. The film tells story of Orthodox Jewish lesbians in London: Esti (Rachel McAdams) caught in a loveless relationship with a Rabbi, and Ronit (Rachel Weisz) trapped in a series of meaningless heterosexual hookups. Well, my wife continued to ignore me for a week and did not talk about the first argument, which was about her ignoring me in the first place. Over the weeks she was going out she had been spending a lot of money also. We needed money to pay bills! On Thanksgiving, I confronted her again because after our family dinner she shut herself up in our room talking to this woman on the phone laughing so loud that I had to come and speak my mind. She got off the phone and we had another argument. I was so upset that she was going out of her way to not be around me and was giving all her attention to this woman. By just reading this I already felt the stress, I cannot imagine what would it be if I were to live my life like this.. I am sure I'll suffer severe depression. Not saying cheating is right, but have you thought about what if she suffers depression? Or maybe she was already suffering it and found support from the lesbian lady?

I also love the way Sebastián chose to shoot it. It was storyboarded. All the wetness, the spitting in the mouth, the pubic hair, the vaginas, but also leaving some of it to the audience to imagine. Where is the other woman’s mouth, where are her fingers? It was important for him to focus on our faces to really capture that desire. There’s something very spiritual about their sex. I’m really proud of it." Your wife is having a very common affair, read some blogs the stories and complaints are basically all the same. These hidden complaints always seem to show up after the spouse has crapped all over their partner. Unfortunately for you your reaction to it has only prolonged your misery. You have let her guilt you into inaction, while at the same time continue to raise your children without her. See her actions for what they are, awful. Well, my wife made some friends at work that we would hang out with once in a blue moon. They had kids their age as well, and my wife worked closely with the other woman. There were several women that worked very closely together at her work. About two months ago, they started hanging out on nights when I was home from work. I was all about my wife going out and having friends. We had been waiting for some kind of support system for her to go out and have fun. I encouraged her to go out because we had not had good friends around in years.Logic, reason and rationale are not effective weapons against irrational, unreasonable people so do not rely on them. In fact expect that they will be of no use in this instance. Threat, intimidation and fear are the only real motivators for individuals of limited intellectual development. Those are the weapons that may work but even they are most times ineffective. In true reality you would probably be better served to D and move on but I do understand not wanting to take that difficult path. You see R as the easier path but in reality it is usually more difficult in the long run. It does however offer the BS the opportunity to postpone thoughts of breaking up the family. More often than not however, the WS offers so little to the BS during R that the BS begins to see D as the better option. The sudden (huge) change in her can easily show how stressed out she was and what a relieve for her now. I slept like a baby. I even remembered what my dream was about—that never happens! Despite what had occurred, there were no anxious thoughts trying to keep me awake and no signs of regret attempting to settle in. I’m no stranger to making terrible decisions when too much liquor starts flowing, but this wasn’t the case. I did start to feel a hangover trying to creep in, so I popped two ibuprofen and was out almost instantly. First of all, OP, I am sorry to hear what has happened to your marriage. But everything happens for a reason. And the problems come from both parties. I think that if you have an chance of fixing your marriage, you're going to first find a job that doesn't take you away from your family 4 days a week (3 nights). The next step would be to start marriage counseling to help you two deal with the stress of your lives.

Sorry OP, but if she wants to leave you for another person, lesbian or not, it means she has had enough. As what you said, you're always working, rarely sex and all. It's unsurprising to me to see such things to happen. Four kids and full time work and a lot more.. I really cannot imagine that.. Besides being a genuinely considerate movie with some thoughtful meditations on religion and culture, it has the added thrill of having super erotic sex scenes, made possible because: After a couple of weeks of this, my wife is now going out every week and staying out very late, almost 4 AM. I would wake up on Saturday and do things with the kids on my own because my wife would be sleeping in until 12:00 pm. This went on for 4 weeks, and it honestly started to get old. I was OK with her having friends, but this was taking away from us as a family. I wanted desperately for her to have her time to recover after I was gone, but I finally confronted her about it. We had a late-night argument, and I was probably pretty upset. She told me she would try and find a balance. PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to yourAs a queer woman myself, I was mostly concerned that the two female characters ate a whole plate of spaghetti without brushing their teeth before commencing intercourse. Meanwhile I found out that she was getting in trouble at work for being too friendly with this lesbian woman and all her other work friends. Her boss had to tell them they could not be on their phones at work. So now my wife has left and I with the kids alone yet again.

Tequila was definitely involved. The night started off just like any other. It was the end to an unusually stressful work week and my best friend and I decided to ditch the wine and go for something a bit more potent. At about four shots and two mixed drinks in, things started to get interesting… We got to the point where she was telling me that she was not sure where she stood on our current situation. She never brought up divorce or separation she simply skirted around it but the point was taken. I asked her flat out if she wanted to be with me or not and she could not give me a yes or a no answer. I had to leave for work early the next morning so the conversation had to be rushed. We’re even better friends now. I’m not sure if it’s because we share something together that none of our other friends do or if it’s because we know what each other taste like. She’s always been someone I could tell my deepest darkest secrets to and now we had one of our own together. Bodily fluids were exchanged—how could we not become better friends? Although we’re nowhere near ashamed of what happened, we prefer to keep it between the two of us. It’s better that way. I felt more in touch with myself. Maybe it was the tequila working its magic, but a dormant place had been awakened inside of me and it was singing. I’m usually not that comfortable with letting it all hang out, but none of that mattered. Our two bodies were coming together and it felt totally empowering. Despite having unshaven legs, chipping toenail polish, and hair all over the place, I felt sexier than ever before.Being nice and giving her space will not cause her any angst and will in fact perpetuate her behavior since she is getting what she wants without any consequences. Actually your inaction is seen in her eyes as acceptance. Therefore, if you are to have any chance of saving your marriage you must set boundaries immediately and force her to comply. If she does not, then you must be ready to enforce them in a way that will cause her to experience loss. This is usually done with the threat of D but be warned that a threat without enforcement is simply of no value so you must be able and willing to move forward if necessary. I'm not about to put Kissing Jessica Stein in this category, because it's too weak of a queer film to be even considered. There's also Mulholland Drive, which had some very brief hot queer moments relative to its era (2001). Heavenly Creatures (1994) served the queer goth community particularly well. Sadly, that community is relatively small. The fact that my friend went down on me and we actually survived the experience with our friendship intact doesn’t mean I recommend you try the same thing. Here’s why.