This is the essence of the new crisis of infidelity: Friendships, work relationships, and Internet liaisons have become the latest threat to marriages. NOT "Just Friends" speaks directly to the betrayed partner, the involved partner, and the affair partner at every stage of infidelity. I found it useful to go back to later on too, because people sometimes think 'well it's been x months now you must be over it' when in reality some days you might not be. i found the bit about flashbacks very helpful, also the obsessing about dates and what i was doing at certain times once i had found out what he was doing. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file.

It's natural for the unfaithful partner to want to avoid the pained expression on the face of the person he or she has injured, especially when the betrayed partner insists on hearing the excruciating details. Each individual in this painful situation will find insight and guidance as we chart the course of affairs from their beginning to their end. If that can happen with respect and compassion for the relationship, then really, is there a problem? A roof needs to be repaired regardless of whether it collapsed because of a slowly decaying frame or was in great shape before it was struck by lightning.In any case, I want you to know that recovering from multiple affairs follows the same pathway as that followed by people recovering from a single affair. You can learn how to keep your commitment strong and your friendships safe, so that you will stay in the safety zone and remain "just friends.

I've altered all descriptive details in the case examples to protect the couples and maintain their confidentiality, but the actual interpersonal and individual issues are based on factual accounts. Commonly, betrayed spouses become obsessed with the details of the affair, have trouble eating and sleeping, and feel powerless to control their emotions, especially anxiety and grief, which can be overwhelming.Involved spouses who were not committed to do everything possible to save their marriage were more likely to drop out of therapy quickly and leave the marriage. he started a new job in nov last year (where they met) it started after xmas and i found out end of march this year. But it's just as important on an individual basis to read, and even if you've moved on from the relationship, it is one of the best books out there on infidelity. As a result, people often receive bad advice from professional helpers as well as from well-intentioned friends and family members.

Well-intentioned people who never intended to be unfaithful are unwittingly forming deep, passionate connections before they realize that they've crossed the line that separates platonic friendship from romantic love. When that happens, the “friend” starts becoming more intimate and emotionally close than our partner. After you learn that you’ve been betrayed, you think in terms of the time before and the time after. Although Glass and Staeheli do the job of describing the comprehensive process of working through affair-related issues, it may be hard for couples who are in that much distress to implement the book’s strategies on their own. I’m curious to hear from those who’ve read Not Just Friends - what were some of your key takeaways/learnings?

Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity, addresses affairs that start with people who are not “just friends.