And that’s how things are very often argued in court, because if you can argue for crime of passion you will probably reduce your charge from murder to manslaughter. In her new book, In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder, she lays out the eight stages of a domestic homicide timeline that flag up the potential for the coercively controlling to kill. An extremely interesting and important book, showing how control and coercion can lead to abuse and murder. A lot of women who talk about this will say I recognised that this was about control and I thought that if I made them feel very stable within the relationship that need for control would disappear. The premise of the book is to explore the escalation of dangerous relationships and that is achieved.

Such as the inability of the deceased to have a voice through their attorneys, coercive control in intimate relationships, chronic intimidation, inequalities in the sense of status and property, verbal threats.I wish I had read this earlier, but now I am glad that controlling behavior is finally being seen in a different light. Knowing about and being able to recognize the patterns of coercive control can be life-changing (or in the worst case life-saving) not only for professionals but for relatives, friends, coworkers of victims or even strangers they interact with. Even our legal system legitimises the idea that people who hurt or kill their partners have snapped and lost control, committed a 'crime of passion'. In this book, Monckton-Smith shares a glimpse into a world of toxic masculinity and coercive control, one in which the tools are shame and fear, helped along by a media and justice system who are far from shedding sexist notions of men and women's roles in society.

One of the most important books I've ever read and a fascinating insight to the violence against women and girls conversation. because controlling people, in the main, will want a rapid commitment, they may target people who they feel might give that. I wish I had known this 15 years ago but feel excited and empowered to make a difference now with what I have learnt. By recognising these patterns, we can track how – and why – risk may escalate for victims and we can provide crucial intervention. Chapter six examines a change in thinking, which can help us to recognise signs of perpetrators planning to kill.If you don't believe that feminism is still needed in this day and age, please, I urge you to read this book. Early on, he blamed past relationship failures on his ex-girlfriend, without acknowledging his own role. I have recommended that my wife, 2 daughters and son (when older) all read this to both help safeguard themselves and identify any behaviour of their own that could be controlling. The author isn't trying to express emotions and has made an excellent effort to remove any bias on her behalf. What is Communism if not a history or controlling (and possibly stalking if we include surveillance).