As noted in the first part of this post, a keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly for men in relationships, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner. A guy not in a relationship doesn’t have this built-in option. That can make finding a keyholder at least somewhat more challenging. But it is not impossible. Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All Yeah, go figure! Not long after that though, life started to imitate art instead of the other way around, and the first real chastity devices were made.

At first, I was not interested. It did not turn me on and i did not see any benefit to me. However, he brought the subject up several times and it caused me to think again. Obviously, he was turned on by the idea; it seemed fair for me to play along — at least a little; for the sake of marital peace. Bondage techniques are commonly used to restrain the person being sexually denied, allowing them to experience their powerlessness more intensely. [2] This practice is typically called "tie and tease" and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of sexual denial. In discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to. Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage. In the world of orgasm control, where, when and whether you want your sub to orgasm or not is completely up to you. It’s great fun to try over long distance, or just to see how far you can push your sub. Orgasm denial practices can allow the dominant to exercise control over many aspects of the submissive's life. As such, they are often (though not always) practiced as an extension or enhancement of a broader BDSM relationship, or as a means of establishing one. They can allow the dominant to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power, and the submissive can enjoy intense feelings of sexual objectification and submission to the dominant.As ever, the language used changes from person to person, but as you can probably guess, this is about getting someone closer and closer, before denying and cutting off their orgasm. This is a risky move, of course. However, even with all the negotiations, kink is something that you have to try out for yourself to be able to judge whether you’re a fan or not. Just because one idea seems like a winner in theory, it doesn’t mean you’ll like it when you play it out and vice versa.

Once you are in an ideal state and ready to attach the device, treat lubricant as your new best friend! Ideally use a water based lube that won’t interfere with the material of your device (silicone lube should not be used with silicone devices) and apply liberally to your genitals (shaft and testicles), you can also apply a small amount to the inside of the device but be aware you may then need to wear gloves to allow some friction to keep hold of the device during the next steps! Steer clear of any “tingle” or “heat” type novelty lubes and consider what will be best for your long-term comfort. 4. The base ringMake sure you've got your keys!'' he says, cheerfully. ''Have a great night. Send my love to … whichever bunch of arch, chain-smoking homosexuals you're on loan to tonight.'' Beyond platonic friends and ex-girlfriends, a keyholder can also be a professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. There are advantages and disadvantages to using a pro. An advantage is you don’t have to explain chastity to them. They probably know more about it than you do, and they will also probably know all about the different chastity device options. The disadvantage is you must pay them to enforce your chastity, and in some cases, they will insist upon making all the rules without any concern for what you may want in your chastity experience. Let’s look at three options. Professional Dominatrix Mistress Thorne has created this simple guide with images to talk you through each stage of the process. 1. Safety precautions

Reagene, Dominic Paul (2014). BDSM & Fetish Dictionary of Kink, 2nd Edition. New York: Muze Management Publishing. p.82. ISBN 978-1-5070-3399-9. The aim of this wiki is to build an archive of chastity stories. The stories have been divided into 5 sections. Men kept in chastity by women(and vice versa), both lesbian chastity and gay men in chastity, as well as anything that doesn't fit into that category such as where you don't know who the keyholder is or where there are multiple ones. Savage, Dan (2 June 2017). "Savage Love Letter of the Day: He's Perfect, But a Premie". The Stranger. Archived from the original on 30 August 2018 . Retrieved 31 August 2018. What we wear affects our psyche. But why we wear it does so too. Wearing a chastity belt can affect our emotions differently depending on the reason that we wear it. Through those emotions, we get a glimpse at the person underneath, and we get to see a small fragment of who they are; the culmination of their nature and their nurture. Regardless of whether others can see them or not, what we wear shows a part of our story. And they say you shouldn’t judge a person by what they wear. But why shouldn’t I judge a book by it’s cover when that’s what the cover is for? Chastity devices are also great instruments when it comes to correcting or training behavior. Masters and doms use them and sexual gratification as both reward and punishment.The keyholder and the chaste person don’t have to be in a close sexual relationship (although that’s often the case). If you’re considering making this a solo adventure, you’ll still need a keyholder, but your relationship with them doesn’t have to be intimate. Seek Outside Counsel Reagene, Dominic Paul (2014). BDSM & Fetish Dictionary of Kink, 2nd Edition. New York: Muze Management Publishing. p.46. ISBN 978-1-5070-3399-9. Fortunately, as you learn about ‘edging’ your partner, and what amount of tease and denial he can take, you will still be able to give him a ‘ruined orgasm’. I believe having a “lifestyle” keyholder, a platonic friend or ex-girlfriend, is the best option, and not only because it’s free. I think it is just a better experience, closer to what men in relationships enjoy from having a wife or partner as their keyholder. But, if that’s not an option for you, there are professional ladies out there willing to hold your keys for a fee.

In both cases, you just need to do a good job of explaining to them your interest in chastity and what you want them to do. And make sure you tell them that if they agree to be your keyholder, they are allowed to exercise their independent judgment about when they give you releases.Most of us have females as platonic friends. A good many of us have ex-girlfriends. Both of those are good options. I have always tended to remain friends with my ex-girlfriends after the romantic relationships ended. Just because we weren’t a good fit for a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good friends. Out of my last four ex-girlfriends, I’d be comfortable with asking three of them to be my keyholder. At least two of those I’m pretty sure would agree to do it. I also have two female friends I’ve never dated that are definite maybes. A true chastity experience usually involves a decision-maker and a chaste person. The decision-maker (or the keyholder) holds the key to the other person’s pleasure, gratification, and release. They can do so metaphorically or literally if the chaste person is in a chastity device.