The Guide, who is both a sounding board and moral compass for emerging adults, helping teens build a sense of their life's direction as a way to influence healthy decision making So it’s no wonder that troubling behavior surfaces more and more often at home and at school. As parents, we want to shield our children as much as possible, to provide a safe haven for them from the unrelenting buzzing and booming, the fever-­pitched pace of modern life. For an atheist or agnostic, their higher purpose may be to live a fully flourishing life: to be able to know oneself, enjoy healthy relationships, find meaning in work, and become a happier, more mindful, and all-around better friend, husband, father, and man. Discipline is, in a manner, nothing else but the art of inspiring the soldiers with greater fear of their officers than of the enemy. This fear has often the effect of courage: but it cannot prevail against the fierce and obstinate valor of people animated by fanaticism, or warm love of their country.

There is no such thing as a disobedient child, only a disoriented one” (4). The author makes it sound like all children who disobey only do so because they are stressed and overwhelmed with the busyness of their lives. “Too many toys and books, too many after-school activities and sports, too many playdates, too much TV and computer time, too much adult information” (23). So the problem is we’re spoiling our kids too much! That’s why they’re so disobedient! Something tells me that even if you put a child in a completely empty, silent room with no stimuli for hours, and you tell a child to do something, there is not a 100% guarantee that the child will obey.The Blue Book remained the official guide to military training and maneuvers until it was replaced in 1812. (U.S. Army photo) The meaning of earthly existence is not, as we have grown used to thinking, in prosperity, but in the development of the soul.” —Alexander Solzhenitsyn Someone who is just starting to learn to play an instrument can only haltingly play with sheet music at hand, and then only a very limited number of basic tunes. A musician who has spent thousands of hours mastering his instrument, however, can play an astonishing range of soaring, beautiful songs, and can improvise his own music. Discipline has liberated his art.

The author’s remedy for repeated disobedience from a kid age 9 and under: Insist quietly and calmly in a monotone voice (59, 69). Instead of repeating your command, you’re supposed to say, “No, no, like this” and model the behavior you want to see (70). I can see that this might work with a toddler, but what about an 8 year old who is deliberately disobeying? And what exactly is the kid’s motivation for complying with a robot? A smart kid will soon learn that they can be as bad as they want, and the parent won’t do a single thing about it except talk. From her own experience the author points out that there are no genuinely disobedient child or teen. She explained, “What I have encountered are myriad disoriented kids.” It falls on the parents to set the matter right and chart the course and pointed out the value of slowing down and simplifying family life. The Soul of Discipline explores what is at the heart of disciplining kids through a three-tiered Governor-Gardener-Guide parenting approach. Kids can disobey even if they have no school and no obligations. They throw a tantrum simply because they’re not getting what they want, whether it’s candy, a toy, or whatever! There were many places where they'd say things like, 'Just remember these 5 points. . . ' but when they elaborated on the points, each one had 6 exceptions, so there were really 30 things to remember. The book is also very copy-dense - again, I think the methods are sound - but it's a lot to get through. It probably says something about my parenting style that I need pictures and snappy anecdotes to break up the theory:)Just like a single workout at the start of the month won’t sustain your strength for the rest of it, you must exercise your soul on a regular basis. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.” —Richard J. Foster Martin Luther, The Freedom of a Christian (1520), M. Tranvik, trans. (Minneapolis: 2008), pp. 71-72

Ask me not where I live and what I like to eat. Ask me what I am living for and what I think is keeping me from living fully for that.” —Thomas Merton The ascetic Gotama … avoids watching dancing, singing, music and shows. He abstains from using garlands, perfumes, cosmetics, ornaments and adornments. … He refrains from running errands, from buying and selling. Since I didn't finish this, I'm not counting it towards my challenge. However, since I got 2/3 of the way through it, I thought I'd share.

The Governor, who is comfortably and firmly in charge—setting limits and making decisions for the early years up to around the age of eight Telling rather than asking my child to do something. Example, instead of politely asking, "Can you get your coat on?", I politely tell him, "Go get your coat on." The author's theory here is that by asking, your child thinks he has some say in the matter, when he really doesn't because he needs to go get his coat on. So when he refuses and then you get angry, he gets confused. More often than not, now, my child will actually go get his coat on without me needing to tell him twice. I have read a lot of parenting books. I mean, A LOT of parenting books. Some have been great, some very good, many are pretty basic or so simplistic that I cannot remember one word of it after I am done. The Soul Of Discipline is very good. I really appreciated that there was solid information about the middle years which can be hard to find. It is sensible, accurate and rooted in parenting through connection. I liked the developmental approach and I can imagine using it as I navigate the challenges and joys of those years. I did find some of the jargon distracting and it made it seem more messy and complicated than it is. Kids who are too young to be in school often have unstructured days full of play in which they can do whatever they want for hours. It’s the adults and other kids who get in their way and say they have to share. And for older kids in school, some don’t have a bunch of extracurricular stuff to do after school. And yet what do many of them choose to do with their time? Drugs, crimes, gangs, violence, etc. You can’t say they’re doing those things they know are bad because they’re overwhelmed with their busy day, because it’s only the idle who participate in those activities. The kinds of teens who do those things may have homework, but they choose not to do it so they can spend time doing their bad behavior instead. Why? Because teens value peer attention and approval above everything else. Whatever makes them cool is what they will do. Even if they have the most loving, perfect parents, it’s not enough. Friends matter more than family to the teen. The parent’s compassion and understanding will only give the green light to what the kid was going to do anyway—blow the light. As an introduction to this short article, it is important to mention up front that compiling letters from senior leaders in the field who are out doing the Nation's business (leading and taking care of young Soldiers and their Families) is an extremely worthwhile endeavor. In addition to applauding this effort, it is important to note that speaking on many of these topics is extraordinarily necessary based on the strength and health of today’s Army.

Aristotle once wrote “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit…so then if we repeatedly practice high standards and discipline, and it is the creation of those habits that enable us to defeat a determined and audacious enemy.” If you desire learning, forsake ease. How can the man at his ease acquire knowledge, And how can the earnest student enjoy ease? Spirituality without discipline moves in hapless fits and starts; it is sporadic, dependent on fluctuating feelings and external circumstances. It requires little to no effort, but also produces little to no sustained growth, and thus little to no fruit. My son, do not reject the discipline of Jehovah, and do not loathe his reproof, for those whom Jehovah loves he reproves, Just as a father does a son in whom he delights. Buenaventura Durruti, on his military leadership against fascist troops in Spain, as quoted in "Durruti Is Dead, Yet Living" (1936), by Emma GoldmanNothing can be more hurtful to the service, than the neglect of discipline; for that discipline, more than numbers, gives one army the superiority over another. If there’s something that stirs inside whenever you hear words like solitude, silence, simplicity, the spiritual disciplines are for you.