Nah, 'e's allus mitherin' about summat." – That seems unlikely, he's always complaining about something. Ayup', by the way, is an all purpose Yorkshire word that means Hello, How are you? Whassup? What are you up to? Look at this, Oy!, Gerroff, See that? Bloody hell! Are you listening? Watch out, Where you been? Pay attention, Wake up......................... Clean Moon

When you tell a joke to a farmer, he laughs three times--once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when he gets it. For farmers love to laugh. I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.

The husband explains his Wendy tattoo. The stranger laughs and then says, “When hard, mine reads Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day”.

Do you have any tips for a ‘reet good’ time in Yorkshire? Because I’d like to add you to the itinerary.” Eeh I'll go t'foot of stairs!" – It's snowing in May? My goodness, I'm really quite surprised by this turn of events. Everyone is very calm, fatalistic almost. Some begin to pray quietly, some write letters to loved ones. Others speak in hushed tones of their love for each other when all of a sudden a young lady stands and, with all eyes on her, cries, "I am still a virgin. I don't want to die without ever becoming a woman. Will some one help me, please!" Eeh, yer reight nesh." – A draft? There's no draft, you're just a big southern softie who can't handle a bit of cold.

The 40 Very Best Dirty Jokes For Her

A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. The father looks at him disapprovingly, “I’m ashamed of you! At your I age I never lied to my father!”. The detector beeps. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."