I don't know what it will look like going forward as I have to find a way to keep providing a safe space for him while being able to work as well, but it has given me hope. Having a range of things that you can be in control of will help to keep your anxiety down, and you can go to these things and tinker when you feel a little anxious.

I love my job and I could lose it because I’m spiralling in PDA and don’t know if it’s PDA or ADHD paralysis. I just know I am frozen. I don’t need a tribe to tell me that. I don’t need to hear about an impulsively buddy when it’s not an impulse-driven problem. But these things are awful for PDAers. By trying to enforce these things, all it does is cause them a great deal of anxiety, often leading to them lashing out or being in a great deal of distress. It also leads to a great deal of stress for you and the potential of being hurt when they do lash out.

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Being a mum to a teenage PDA son is life-changing, and at times, utterly heart-wrenching experience. Seeing Harry through his own candid, entertaining and diplomatic lens, fills me with hope, quiet optimism, and (most importantly) confidence for my own son's future. Thank you Harry for your insight. -- Natasha, PDA mum

Find your tribe. If being autistic makes you feel like an alien on this planet then being PDA can sometimes make you feel like a space monster. Around every corner is a demand waiting to thrust itself upon us. So how do we cope with all of these demands that can’t help themselves hammering down on us like we’re a nail that just won’t lay flat? A really salient example is a woman who was told by her boss (along with an entire workforce, so not just personally to her) to try and get bathroom trips in at a certain time (to reduce lines during breaks that prevented everyone from being able to go). The advice actually was just giving people permission to know they didn’t have to wait for break times to go to the restroom, but she wouldn’t do it. She kept developing UTIs and even had some accidents at work because she just couldn’t stand feeling like she had to use the restroom on a schedule. This was one of many examples that eventually led to losing a position at work.

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But you’re right. There’s huge potential for autistic RATIONAL demand avoidance to be seen as a pathology people try to train out of them instead of understanding their sensory, social, and personal needs. It’s a complicated issue all around. I also believe that I have possibly struggled my whole life with PDA, without knowing what PDA was… (and passed it onto my children)

PDA is a lifelong condition, but with proper support and treatment, people with PDA can lead happy and fulfilling lives. You have given me a great resource for overcoming my many “blah” days and for retuning my mindset when it strays into the mental brambles of imposter syndrome and self-distraction; reminding me that I too have something valuable to contribute to the lives of others, instead of sinking into the disillusionment that chains my mind and prevents me from following my passions. Make Your First Year of Retirement Unforgettable: The Best Unique and Fun Activities to Make the Most of Your Newfound Freedom My passion has always been working with autistic children and teenagers - I believe that they have so much to offer, and yet the education system often fails them because staff do not have the right skills and experience."We believe that PDA exists as a neurodivergent phenomenon, but not that it is exclusive to autistic people. We feel more research is needed to determine if PDA is a distinct condition or an interaction of co-occurring conditions. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to go see that film you were planning on watching or another activity that you can’t get past the wall to do. Personally, I find it increasingly frustrating when I want to do something (like sitting and writing this article) but just CAN’T. Try and schedule them to come out around the times when you have the most money in your account, such as right after paydays or benefits deposit.