Thrusting is pushing and pulling your toy in and out over and over, while plugging involves literally plugging your anus with a butt plug and leaving it inside.

If you’re using a silicone toy, however, you’ll need to use a water-based lube instead because silicone breaks down silicone. Using a numbing agent increases your chances of going too far too fast and causing potentially serious damage. Dilators — which you can find online — used for pleasure are similar, though the goal is slightly different, obvs. Their shape is pretty basic — usually smooth and tubular. They’re usually sold in sets of five or more, each increasing roughly a quarter of an inch in size so that you can work your way up. PlugFingers are a good place to start because you can begin with a pinky and work your way up to five fingers, or even an entire hand or fist. You can also use sex toys. Dilator

You’ve gotta love the butt plug and its efficient shape. They generally have narrow tips that gradually widen toward the middle then taper down again. Butt plugs are another story since they’re meant to remain inside you. You want enough weight for the plug to stay put and not shoot from your butt with a sneeze, but it also needs to be comfortable. Vibrations and other variations

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Slow and steady wins the butt play race. Get ready for insertion by lightly pressing your toy against your hole with minimal pressure. Anal dilators, also called rectal dilators, are medical devices used to widen the rectum after anorectal surgery to help make passing stool easier. If there’s too much poop in your rectum, shallow penetration will probably be all you can muster. Using a rectal douche to clean out poop in the lower rectum can help. To say you have a lot of options would be an understatement. There are dildos and other anal toys out there with bells and whistles your bum can’t even imagine.

Try a hot bath, a massage, or some foreplay to help you get your stretch on. Be generous with the lubeOil-based lubes generally aren’t recommended because they break down latex, and that’s a major no-no if you’re using condoms or latex gloves on your fingers or toys. If you’re feeling actual pain — like a severe, sharp, or throbbing pain — then slowly pull out. You can try again in a couple of days with a smaller toy or after being sufficiently relaxed. See a doctor if there’s a lot of blood, bleeding continues for more than a couple of minutes, or is accompanied by pain. What should you do if there’s poop? If you get a bad case of the runs or have an actual bowel movement, then stopping to properly clean yourself up and out is a good idea. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Unless you’ve got carpal tunnel, you don’t need to worry about weight if you’re choosing dilators or dildos. Apply a liberal amount of lube to your finger or toy, as well as around your anal opening. By liberal I mean basting yourself up like you would a turkey on Thanksgiving. Plugging frees up your hands for simultaneous fun, like caressing your erogenous zones, or allows you to train while your partner goes down on you. What should you do if it hurts? Silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass — or Pyrex — are great because they’re nonporous and easy to care for. Their shape makes them easy to insert and helps to keep them comfortably contained in your anus even in the throes of ecstasy.

Minor discomfort while you get used to the sensation of being penetrated is to be expected. Adjusting the depth or motion, or even just taking a deep breath, should help.