Tender, unflinching and blisteringly funny, What a Shame glitters with rage and heartbreak, perfect for fans of Emma Jane Unsworth, Dolly Alderton and Holly Bourne.

It also explores the notion of social media and how nothing you see online is ‘real’ and everybody has something going on, everybody has their own “stuff” whether they share it or not. I loved reading this story, not only is Jasvinder a very good writer and story teller, she wrote honestly about her life, mistakes and lessons. Beautifully written Filgate writes, “Our mothers are our first homes, and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them.” Our relationships with our mothers are often the relationships that we replicate with others, particularly close ones and in working this relationship out do we work out the other ones, bringing hope, relief and healing. At the end of the book I was glad to finally been able to agree with her. For instance her fight against forced marriage and more importantly her fight against so called Honour killings. Great work. What a Shame is an absorbing experience; the story is strange yet brilliant . . . it's dark and raw and funny, with a woman on an emotionally engulfing journey at its centre . . . like Sorrow and Bliss on acid . . . A real gem. * Well Read with Anna Bonet *

Lareese’s Review

I'm not rating this book on its literary merits but on the very important real life story presented by this inspirational author and founder of a charity who has helped women and girls when they had NO ONE else to turn to, including their own families. Jasvinder tells the inspiring, heart-breaking and cruel details of her life and the lives of a plethora of other Asian women living in Britain who have suffered from honour violence and forced marriage. By showing readers the realities faced by some female members of the human race it evokes deep thought provoking feelings and opens ones eyes making it an important book of our time reminding us that cultural acceptance does not mean accepting things which are utterly unacceptable. Intelligent, moving and darkly comic . . . taking us deftly from serious explorations of trauma to riotously funny scenes of modern life’ The Sunday Times Ironically, the habits we follow to reduce our shame, are induced by shame in the first place. The author, John Bradshaw, drank heavily to get away from his shame, yet the more he drank, the closer to shame he felt.

This dynamic book explores what we don’t discuss within our most intimate of relationships — the relationship with our mother.

Fizzes with energy, rage and love, burrowing deep into those experiences that define us at our core’ I always love a book that focuses on the importance of female friendships, because aren’t they just the best? There really is something so beautiful about the sisterhood us women feel. Would 100% recommend this book (to the right person, maybe not your aunt), can’t wait to read Abigail’s next masterpiece! The idea of a curse was divisive, but the assertion that I had, for some time now, been ‘laden with something dark’ was disconcertingly unanimous.

Despite the burden they both carry; they are survivors in their own right. Shino has had to endure the shame associated with her family's low status. Together, they share a resolute determination to find happiness and solace, which paves the way for a new life as they unite. Fizzes with energy, rage and love, burrowing deep into those experiences that define us at our core' Jasvinder grew up in Derby in a traditional Sikh family with several of her siblings. But it was her brother who always scored special treatment from her parents. Living in a guarded community, Jas wasn't even allowed to cut her hair or put on makeup for it was considered too frivolous. Girls were liabilities, someone who were arranged to be married off at just 15. After witnessing abusive marriages around her including that of her sisters', Jas decides to run away when she's presented with a man much older than her who was to be her husband. Her parents'expected rejection of her Punjabi boyfriend because he belonged to a lower status was the final push that freed Jas. The two struggle to survive outside the community and for many years, she is cut off from the family.Jasvinder recognised that there were many other women trapped like her sister and many like herself rebelling against family pressure. But also she realised that women of her mother’s age who were trapped in the silence of not speaking English and not being able to deal with the world around them. She made it her mission to make a difference to British Asian women, to challenge the practice of forced marriage, to provide sanctuary to women in danger and to help with counselling and therapy through her charity, Karma Nirvana. Specifically, the book advocates finding meaning in three different ways: through making ourselves useful to others, through unconditionally loving others and through suffering.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Non-fiction) by Mark Wolynn Schibalski JV, Müller, M, Ajdacic-Gross V, et al. Stigma-related stress, shame and avoidant coping reactions among members of the general population with elevated symptom levels. Comprehen Psychiatry. 2017;74:224-230. doi:10.1016.j.comppsych.2017.02.001The novel unfolds through six interconnected sections, each adding another layer to the tale of this haunting couple. Births, deaths, illness, and discovery merge to form a poignant testimony of youthful love and unwavering marital commitment. This is an important example of how we can all move past the shame we feel. My favourite kind of book: the kind that you can't help but race through, leaves you immediately devastated when you finish it and envious of everyone who has yet to read it. -- Dr Soph I read about depression, guilt, shame, anger, despair, sadness, rejection, determination and many more emotions.