Play in the [BDSM] scene provides a mental arousal rather the traditional sense of sexual pleasure. For instance, recently I had a session where I broke my slave. My slave was pushed to his mental and physical edge—he went as far as he could go with me. Cathartically, my slave let himself go, expressed his true vulnerability and wept. I am a sadist above all in the scene; I get a high from breaking someone mentally and physically. The combination of the two is the ultimate turn on for me. These experiences are rare achievements in the years that I have played. I cherish those sessions, and they are amongst the most stimulating for me. I became a femme dom in 2009, due to the fact that I was in relationships that just didn’t work for me,” she says. “In traditional relationships, the male was dominant and the woman role was traditional, and I was in a marriage that just didn’t work for me at all. So when I decided to become a femme dom or a dominatrix, things began to change for me and I enjoyed being in control. I’ve always been that type of person. I have control over most of the things in my life in the vanilla world, and then of course coming over into the kink space, it was very comfortable. I became a dominatrix because I knew I would have better relationships.” I think what draws people are the taboo of the different things that we do,” she says. “We wear latex, spandex, leather, and all of these clothing options make this lifestyle fun.” She began to explain how even vanilla people practice forms of BDSM unknowingly. “If a person is in their bedroom doing a little spanking in their play, they may not know that that’s BDSM, but it is,” she said. The strangest ones are the ones who ask for the most unexpected things. What's weird to me is not necessarily weird to the vanilla bystander, but my strangest session by far ended up with me writing two comparative essays for the sub. Sadomasochism is a term derived from the writings of French aristocrat Marquis de Sade and Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, which details sexual activities that involve deriving pleasure from causing pain or being on the receiving end of such painful inflictions, respectively. Kinkier activities might include erotic asphyxiation, being tied up and blindfolded, spanked with a paddle or tantalized with the sting of a whip. Some participants are aroused by being told what to do, or they derive an inexplicable thrill from being in complete control. For some, it’s simply to spice up the bedroom occasionally; for others the goal is to live a life that satisfies their kinky compulsions.

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This lifestyle relies on adults giving their consent, decreasing harm, and making conscientious choices for personal fulfillment and pleasure. BDSM is not about kids, breaking the law or violating anyone’s consent. It requires a knowledge and understanding of self, and an embracing of your innermost compulsions, many of which might not be deemed “normal” or acceptable in mainstream society. It requires that you know who you are and what you want, that you be willing to go beyond the limits and constraints of society. Whatever your level of experience, I will enjoy taking control of you. My irresistible presence and skillful manipulation will make you eager to expose the most hidden depths of your submissive nature. Absolutely. Ideally, I would be friends with all my clients. I am there to open them up to the most sensitive and vulnerable part of themselves—there's a lot of trust and emotional closeness that is built. Some people want more than I can give—whether it's time, attention or specific acts—and in these instances I need to strongly enforce my boundaries, which makes it more difficult to have a friendship. Dozens of SFW videos on YouTube share ways to get into BDSM play, whether it’s rope tying for bondage or techniques for delivering the perfect spanking. Kink and BDSM are just other forms of sexual expression and ways to connect with the sexuality of others. Tea parties, play parties, munches and dress-up groups are scheduled across the nation for members of this community to have unforgettable experiences together.We are also looking for ladies for our brand new webcam studio and phone chat lines. More Info Here Intuition, imagination and understanding the psychology of the dynamic. Use of the tools, equipment and bondage is the easy stuff and I’m great at all of that. I love nice equipment so my dungeon is fully equipped with the best of everything for most BDSM play.

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Almost everything will be allowed at this parties, limits of course respected but more likely to be stretched. So be prepared to experience all you ever dreamt. I started pro-domming while I was still a grad student here in LA. Much of my work in the field of art had to do with power dynamics, objectification, voyeurism and exhibitionism, so although I was always been interested in BDSM as a type of eroticized power exchange, I had a hard time giving myself permission to explore it in my personal life. Playing in this space as a woman is all about role reversal and giving men the training Mistress C feels they deserve. “I believe women are just being hit over the head with ‘they need to be submissive,’ and I don’t believe that,” she said. “I believe women are very powerful, and when they tap into that power, they are able to help direct men in a space where they are a little more loving, caring, empathetic. I think that’s what a lot of our men need, that type of training that they really don’t get at home, that makes them better men overall.” Over the years, my slaves would complain that they couldn’t figure out how to introduce their girlfriends or wives to female dominance. I co-wrote a book titled How to be a Dominant Diva which focuses on giving couples the inspiration and tools to explore eroticism, role-play and power exchange in a way that is exciting but never intimidating!Mistress C has always been drawn to the lifestyle of being a dominant as a femme dom, so when her marriage turned out to be an improper fit for her lifestyle, she decided to make some life changes. The BDSM lifestyle attracts many people of all walks of life. Mothers, nephews, grandmothers, politicians, doctors and even judges can be seen playing in a dungeon or attending a kink event, but most of these people aren’t living out and in the open. At its core, BDSM is a sexual practice about intentional, exaggerated power play. Terms like Master, slave, Dominant, Goddess, pet, bitch, and slut are all regular parts of the lexicon. Consider how consent makes all the difference between being called a “stupid slut” while walking down the street, and being called the same name in the course of a scene (a pre-negotiated, planned BDSM interaction). Degradation is a common BDSM dynamic, and is rooted in the submissive’s connection between their own arousal or pleasure and that practice. If a woman in a scene is being called a “good little whore,” it’s likely because that’s what she has asked to be called. It is equally likely that she has set clear boundaries around what she does not want to be called, what sorts of degradation are off limits for her, and how both she and her Dominant know when the scene is over. Engaging safely in kink/BDSM play requires a level of trust in self and others and a sense of worth within specific boundaries all wrapped up in pleasure and fun,” Coleman continues. “In addition, the experience of engaging in kinky play can rewire or amplify certain brain–body neural pathways that create a sense of safety and joy that contributes to a person’s psychological functioning.” Nothing is typical in this industry. I have the extremely wealthy to the average Joe, and I enjoy them both. When a client is in my dungeon, it really doesn’t matter to me what they do or who they are in the real world. All of that is left at the door and they get to become something they yearn for and crave, whether it’s to be a masochist, submissive, slave, prisoner, patient, etc. But the common thread is the need to be able to escape the normal day to day. Some people go to spas, amusement parks or the movies, others go to dungeons.