So let us be clear that Nads has scrupulously substantiated her claims by interviewing key “sources”. It is unfortunate that so many of them are anonymous, but that is an inevitable feature of dealing with a conspiracy as sinister as this one. One of these sources she codenames “Moneypenny”. Another is disguised as “M”. You may sense a theme here. Two others she calls “Bambi and Thumper”. Connoisseurs of the adversaries of James Bond, to whom Boris Johnson does indeed bear a striking resemblance, will know Bambi and Thumper as henchpersons of Spectre, an organisation that Ernst Stavro Blofeld made almost as scary as The Movement. The register of interests also reveals she employs her daughter as a parliamentary assistant, but that’s by the by. A recent episode saw a pompous Englishman set sail for Heir Island, in West Cork’s Roaring Water Bay, to collect examples of folk tales; he ends up ensnared in an illegal drinking den while islanders spout cod-antique nonsense at him. I squeaked with excitement because that bit of fiendishly wiggly coast is where our family always heads on holiday, the latest excitement being that the tiny island now has its own pizza place, PizzHeiria. The portrait of her doing the rounds is one of a self-confessed “quite UKIP-y” fountain of bad takes. Such is her reputation for lamenting how “leftwing snowflakes” are dumbing down panto, and her former opposition to gay marriage, that one Tory MP reacted to the news of her appointment by telling the FT: “Nadine bleeding Dorries. Was whoever decided that on LSD at the time?” The first problem is the time frame, it's not clear how long of a time period this book is supposed to cover. There is a 2 year time period from the point where we are introduced to Alice's character and when her role in the story really starts. But then that's followed by a mention of the child being in nappies to jumping to mentions of school. There is no clear indication of the differences in ages between Kitty and Nellie, but it's mentioned near the end that Kitty is 14 and they appear to both be caring for the other kids. There are no mentions of any big events like birthdays or Christmas to help explain.

While she’s right to see something deeply undemocratic in Cameron, May, Johnson and Truss all departing office without the voters getting a say, Dorries omits to explore Johnson’s own starring role in kneecapping the first two. Does the movement control him too? Could he be Dr No? Makes you think.Some of those ministers resigned in a flurry of exits that eventually downed Mr Johnson himself. Were those actions driven by malice? Or exasperation and despair with the leader himself? The publisher said a “small delay is necessary to allow for the huge volume of material the author has consulted, the number of high-level sources spoken to and the required legal process needed to share her story”. As a distillation of what Team Boris argues when asked how the man who won an 80-seat House of Commons majority was out of office within three years, it takes some beating.

Nads, honest soul that she is, confesses that she had doubts about committing to print what she has found out because it meant risking all she held dear. “I had to face what would be the hardest decision of my life: do I carry on (in cabinet) or do I step down to write this book?” she confides. The sound of violins to be inserted here. “I would have to give up everything I loved, the job, possibly even my role as an MP.” What dedication to the truth she has displayed by going ahead with The Plot even though it meant vacating the cabinet seat that she so adorned with her shimmering intellect and subtle grace, as well as setting aside her legendary dedication to the constituents of Mid Bedfordshire. I don’t know about you, but I’m misting over at her selfless spirit. It is unfortunate that so many of Nads’s sources are anonymous, but that is an inevitable feature of dealing with a conspiracy as sinister as this one Lots of people said I was mad to take him on … The country had become bogged down because of the failure to get Brexit done and I was going to need a mailed fist to help to get things done. Another source said: “It was later discovered that someone in the party secretly sent out regular cheques to the Priory Clinic to pay for the treatment of one of this man’s later victims, and still nobody spoke out … If action had been taken when that first rape was reported, those other women would have been saved from their life trauma.”It’s all perfectly simple. Boris Johnson was brought down by a secretive cabal called the Movement, impelled by the powerful figures Dr No, the Wolf, the Dark Lord and Michael Gove.