Tracini is developing a BPD standup routine, which he hopes to take on the road. “It’s called Ten Things That I Hate About Me. It’s basically a Ted Talk gone wrong,” he says.

I’ve done more good things than bad things, but I never remember the good ones because I only feel the bad ones. Despite his poor mental health, Tracini has had a stable professional life – he has rarely been without work. He left Hollyoaks in 2014 after a three-year stint, thinking he would go on to something bigger and better. But there was nothing bigger than trying to quell the voices in his head. He briefly returned to Hollyoaks in 2018, after his diagnosis, but acting gigs were increasingly hard to come by. Since 2017, he has presented the children’s TV show The Dengineers (“Basically Grand Designs for kids”) with Meryl Fernandes. In December, it won a Children’s Bafta for best factual entertainment show. You have to buy this book. I mean it. It's very funny and sad and utterly true. It's a life-saver. And Joe Tracini is a magician. He wins in the end. And so will you * Miriam Margolyes *I live with daily suicidal thoughts that are always there, just some days they’re louder than they were the day before. But I had run out of options. I'd done everything I 'd been told to do and I still thought about killing myself every day. So I wrote this book to save my life.

Nicest man in showbiz". Cornish Guardian. Northcliffe Media. 21 July 2011. Archived from the original on 7 October 2012 . Retrieved 13 August 2011. I'm a big fan of Joe Tracini, so I was keen to read this book as soon as it was released. It was an enjoyable and interesting book. Joe's likability and humour that you can see on TV come across in the book, and I enjoyed the autobiographical element of hearing about Joe's life. Despite having four sisters (three from his father’s first marriage), he did not much engage with other children or childhood. “I was a real novelty, because I spoke and thought like an adult. I wrote my own stuff and would do five to 10 minutes at the end of my dad’s act when I was seven years old.” He adored his father and wanted to be his double. “I’ve got hundreds of hours of me on film. And it is essentially me, this tiny little boy, being my dad.”Viewers at home were moved to tears by Joe's honestly, with one writing: "In tears, good tears. That was the most powerful interview and your song needs singing to all children. You sir are amazing." I can’t see a relationship, but I know they’re a thing. I know because I have some. I’m a son, a brother, an uncle, a cousin and a friend. A relationship is something independent, that lives between the two people that made it. However, the interview caused a divide between viewers, with one saying: "Get him off, this is causing me anxiety. #lorraine" Read More Related Articles Review: Cinderella, York Barbican, until December 30". The Press (York). 26 December 2012 . Retrieved 8 June 2015.

Cinderella is a record breaker for Wolverhampton's Grand Theatre". Express & Star. 4 December 2014 . Retrieved 8 June 2015. He doesn’t delve into where his BPD came from, although it’s fairly obvious his Mum and Dad weren’t Mr and Mrs Perfect Pants Parents. Perhaps that’s because they’ll be reading his book? But he does make it obvious they were more likely to take a pair of shears to pernicious weeds in the garden rather than dig them up by the roots. Disapproval and emotional distance are clearly big factors in his family dynamic. Life is just so exhausting, he says, that there is not a moment when he is unaware of himself. Has he never felt inner calm? Actually, yes, there was one day, recently.A truly extraordinary book. Brave, beautiful and brilliant. Heartbreaking, harrowing and frequently hilarious. Joe Tracini travels to the horrible heart of his abominable illness and unflinchingly examines the misery it has heaped upon him and everyone around him. Incredibly, he emerges from the darkness with a timeless tale of love, hope and redemption that will be of immeasurable help to people facing the most destructive demons and, crucially, everyone who loves them. Please read this book. It will make the world a better place * James O'Brien * Feelings aren’t a choice. We don’t choose how we feel. The only choice we have is weather or not to tell someone about it”

My adult career has been trying to undo everything I taught myself about how to be like my dad’ ... Tracini as Dennis Savage in Hollyoaks. Photograph: Channel 4

Tracini, the son of the popular entertainer Joe Pasquale, was a child prodigy. In 2003, he was the British junior magical champion and was named the most promising comedy act by Ken Dodd. He was only 15 years old; endless opportunities lay ahead. He attended the Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts in London and learned how to sing, dance and act, before starring on TV in My Spy Family, Coming of Age and Hollyoaks. But, for a long while, drugs, alcohol, BPD and despair got the better of him.