urn:oclc:24106853 Republisher_date 20120405213316 Republisher_operator [email protected] Scandate 20120405051000 Scanner scribe20.shenzhen.archive.org Scanningcenter shenzhen Worldcat (source edition) But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among the saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3-4) Discipline is a subject about which the Scriptures say much-but contemporary authors have been peculiarly silent. Kent Hughes fills a gaping void with this superb volume.... If there is a spark of spiritual desire in your soul, this book will surely kindle it into a blazing passion for godly discipline." The second culprit in the neutralizing of men is the addiction to entertainment. A face lit by a luminous screen is a study in passivity. Fleeting images, intermingled with the thousand commercials and banner ads of an average week's viewing, instill passiveness. There is no time for engagement or reflection, much less action. The viewer becomes a passive, munching, sipping drone(a male bee that has no sting and gathers no honey). There are guys, voyeurs, who have substituted viewing for doing and imagine that they have scored a touchdown or taken a hill by virtue of having watched it — passive living legends in their own inert minds.

It strikes me that there's probably at least two types of Christians: some Christians are going to be tempted towards a legalistic kind of view; but then on the other hand, it seems like more broadly in our culture today the idea that our spiritual lives would require hard work is something that seems foreign to a lot of people. Maybe because of this fear of legalism we go too far in the other direction. I wonder if you could speak to that—why do you think that is the case with so many Christians today? To open this book and find someone taking seriously the biblical call of 'agonizing to enter the kingdom' and ... boxing and sweating like a champion to get victory over sin is the most refreshing thing I could have set my eyes on." Setting an example begins with emptying our speech of corruption, and the best way to force corruption out is to fill our speech with something else. “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4). Do you want your words to radiate grace? Thank God often, and out loud, for everything. Make sure that everyone in your life knows that everything you have is a gift of God (James 1:17). Strive to be unusually, stubbornly, even a little socially awkwardly thankful (Colossians 2:7).Men of God do not fabricate or repeat lies, and they do not hide or obscure the truth. They take responsibility and accept the consequences, even when it costs them much. And being honest will cost us much. What if men in the church are more immature and less equipped because we’ve been expecting too little of them? What if we have simply failed to call them to more than sexual purity online and basic spiritual disciplines? I want to be a part of raising up men who, instead of merely avoiding this or that sin, become a force for good — better, a force for God. And I want to be that kind of man, the kind of man my son should imitate. Sexual voyeurism is a pathetic delusion because in it a man's God-given testosterone (which is meant to infuse manliness) becomes a medium of enslavement and impotence. Sexual voyeurism steals a man's virility and initiative. Godly discipline becomes a receding mirage for the voyeur. And this also applies to the millions in the thrall of the gaming world (addicted to games like World of Warcraft or Fortnite), which keeps men playing games into their thirties in their Star Wars pajamas — warriors in their imaginations. Those enslaved by the world of entertainment will never attain manliness, a life disciplined for godliness — a life overseen, instructed, and energized by the Man of all men, the Lord Jesus Christ. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” ( James 1:26). The true test of a man’s spirituality is not his ability to speak, but rather his ability to bridle his tongue! Offered to God on the altar, the tongue has awesome power for good. There must be an ongoing prayerfulness and resolve to discipline ourselves: “Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.” When the apostle Paul wrote to a younger man, casting vision for what he might become in Christ, he charged him, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). In a previous article, I began recovering this simple but challenging framework as a paradigm for becoming a man of God. In this article, I want to narrow in on speech. What does it mean, more practically, to set an example in what a man says (or doesn’t say)? What about our words sets us apart from other men?

Self-love: ...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Do all things without grumbling or disputing,” Paul says elsewhere, “that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14–15). This light shines in what we say (or don’t). Ask God to make you radiantly thankful. 6. Correct with gentleness.To be all God wants you to be, put some holy sweat into your relationships! If you’re married, you need to live out Ephesians 5:25–31: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). For those who are fathers, God provides a workout in one pungent sentence: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Relationships are not optional (Heb. 10:25); they enable us to develop into what God wants us to be and most effectively learn and live God’s truth. To be all God wants you to be, put some holy sweat into your relationships! If you’re married, you need to live out Ephesians 5:25–31: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). For those who are fathers, God provides a workout in one pungent sentence: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Relationships are not optional (Heb. 10:25); they enable us to develop into what God wants us to be and most effectively learn and live God’s truth. 3. Discipline of Mind

God chose what is low and despised in the world . . . so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:28–29). Men of God are known for building others up, and for being surprisingly quiet about their own abilities, achievements, and ministry. Good men don’t go around reminding people of how good they are. They live by the proverb, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth” (Proverbs 27:2). Part of pursuing godliness in speech and correcting with gentleness is being committed to making peace. “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment” (1 Corinthians 1:10; see also Titus 3:2). “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Jesus promises, “for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). In the midst of correction and conflict, even when we have to say a hard word, we should be fighting for peace — not a cheap or superficial peace, but a deep, healthy, enduring peace in the Lord. 7. Leave behind boasting in self.Hebrews 12:1–3 presents a picture of perseverance in four commands. Divest! “Lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely” (v. 1). That includes besetting sin, and anything else that hinders. Run! “. . . with endurance the race that is set before us” (v. 1). Each of us can finish our race (see also 2 Tim. 4:7). Focus! “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (v. 2). There never was a millisecond that he did not trust the Father. Consider! Our life is to be spent considering how Jesus lived (v. 3). The man who carries on an act of impurity is not simply breaking a human code, nor even sinning against the God who at some time in the past gave him the gift of the Spirit. He is sinning against the God who is present at that moment, against One who continually gives the Spirit. The impure act is an act of despite against God's good gift at the very moment it is being proffered... This sin is seen in its true light only when it is seen as a preference for impurity rather than a Spirit who is holy. One thread in Paul’s letters proves to be an especially useful test for our speech: Do I use my words to build others up? The apostle writes, One of the things that strikes me too is the connection between some of these spiritual disciplines—things that we want to do and things that we're called to do as Christians—and the more broad idea of habits and habit formation. How do you see those two things as connected? The best contemporary book of spiritual guidance I’ve read in a long time. Usually for this type of food I have to look for a book that is at least seventy-five years old. This book is a surprising exception. And it has the added advantage of being very relevant to specific needs in today’s world.” - Ajith Fernando, Teaching Director, Youth for Christ, Sri Lanka; author, Discipling in a Multicultural World

Paul gives the same charge in greater detail in Colossians 3:8: “Now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” And in Ephesians 5:4: “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place.” Social media is overrun — like that overgrown, weed-infested yard down the street — with these word sins. If we live online long enough, our senses will be dulled and corruption will begin to feel normal, acceptable, even justified. It is not normal, and it does not please God. Setting a godly example in speech often begins with refusing to indulge these temptations — to cut out words that gratify our flesh at the expense of someone else. 5. Be unusually thankful. Samuell 5 records David's initial assumption of power and documents that David took on additional wives and concubines from Jerusalem. Deuteronomy 17 set the standards for Hebrew kings and commands abstention from three things: acquiring many horses, taking many wives (v17), and accumulating much silver or gold. " David's embrace of socially-permitted sensuality desensitized himself to God's call and made him easy prey for the fatal sin of his life" [pg. 34].Discipline is a subject about which the Scriptures say much—but contemporary authors have been peculiarly silent. Kent Hughes fills a gaping void with this superb volume. You’ll be challenged and encouraged as you read. And if there is a spark of spiritual desire in your soul, this book will surely kindle it into a blazing passion for godly discipline.” What made you think about turning it into a book? It seems like it's one of those topics that is pretty well-trodden, so what was it that led you to say, I want to write this book, and I want it to be for men in particular?