The Conflict Resolution Date: This date is focused on learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts in the relationship. The goal of this date is to help couples develop the skills and strategies they need to effectively manage and resolve conflicts in their relationship. This date is designed to help couples build a more harmonious and supportive relationship by learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts. To do this, couples can practice effective communication skills such as using “I” statements, active listening, and problem-solving techniques. They can also learn how to manage their own emotions and needs in conflicts, and how to effectively negotiate and compromise with each other. This can help couples build a more harmonious and supportive relationship by learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts. As we mentioned above, the largest study of love on the planet, with 70,000 people in 24 countries, found that in all great relationships, kissing passionately for no reason at all was one universal key to a great sex life.” Gottman & Gottman are a husband and wife marriage and divorce counselor pair. They run a prominent marriage institute in Seattle, to which Microsoft provides corporate benefits and many older employees have gone through with delight. They and the co-authors have recorded thousands of couples and claim to be able to predict if a couple will stay together with astonishing accuracy. I don’t believe the actual statistics, but I get the point - they probably know something about what keeps people in love.

Triggers are perceptions stored in our subconscious AND throughout our body. Mostly formed when we were incapable of reasoning independently, at a proverbial age thru age @ 25. Thus, our psyke imprints emotional responses of Others. In short, I’d recommend this book to any couple looking to take their relationship to the next level. Five enthusiastic stars! Welcome to life as the boyfriend of a dating coach. We’ve been dating for the past four years, so he’s used to serving as my guinea pig, helping me test relationship advice and the latest research before I make recommendations to my clients. I’ve always appreciated the way my husband supports me in reaching my goals. For instance, when I was pregnant with my first child and decided that would be a good time to go to graduate school and get my MA in marriage and family therapy, he was on board. And then later when I decided not to use my degree to work as a therapist but rather to fulfill my dream of working as a writer and infusing my mental health knowledge through my writing, he was equally as supportive. His unwavering support has made achieving my goals so much more attainable. Conversation and Goals

John and Julie Gottman have been studying couples for a few decades and researched what are the behaviors that can result either in break-ups or happily ever after. With some adorable examples both from their own life and the couples they studied - they propose a framework for fundamental conversations. The topics range from money, trust, sex, spirituality - where each one of us has a strong perspective and a personal history usually quite different from our partner. These conversation are based on active listening and strong, open ended questions and a bit of preparation before-hand. And a lot of curiosity. If you want a successful and joyful relationship, make room for play and adventure. Even though we have been hardwired to like games, we often put play last on our to-do lists. Use the sixth date to discover what adventure and play mean to you and your partner, sharing related stories from the past and asking each other questions such as “How do you think we could have more fun?” Make play a part of your daily lives together going forward. Date No. 7: Something to believe in – growth and spirituality Amazing things happen in relationships when a couple can change and grow and accommodate the growth of the other person,” write the authors of “Eight Dates.” It’s as simple as this: “when you create meaning out of the struggles you face together, you stay together.” Try to achieve this by discussing each other’s growth several times a year, and by creating shared rituals of sacredness. Be humble and curious: whatever your partner’s idea about what growth and spirituality are, you’re there to understand and accept it, and not to prove that your ways are the right ones. Date No. 8: A lifetime of love – dreams The eight most important elements of a successful marriage are fidelity, good sex, division of chores, adequate income, good housing, shared religious beliefs, shared interests, and children. Before you each come together to discuss, think about how you think about trust and commitment in your relationship, and how you make each other feel safe and loved. You can jot it down on a piece of paper, so that when you come together, you can easily remember your thoughts and see if you each feel the same way, or if your ideas are different.

We we did:The book suggested meeting somewhere with a beautiful, aspirational view. We went to Scott’s office building over the weekend and took the elevator to the 37th floor. Looking out over the Bay Bridge, we answered questions about our dreams. It is not an exaggeration to say that the depth of your love depends directly on discussing each of these topics incessantly – from the early stages of your relationship to your 95th birthday. Why? Well, because we change all the time and, with that, our priorities change as well. Because if you want to spend your life next to someone, you don’t want to stop exploring their commitment to you, their fears and dreams, their hopes and beliefs. Because the evolution of a couple should always be the evolution of a “we”– never the evolution of two “I’s.” And, finally, because – as the authors so poetically note in the very first sentence of this book –“every great love story is a never-ending conversation.” Relationships are made of date nights Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. Thank you so much, couples, for following along and participating in this journey with us. We truly hope you’ve had FUN and that each week’s conversations have brought you closer to each other emotionally, mentally and physically. Thinking about ways to cherish your partner will give power to your connection," the authors wrote of this exercise, and it definitely did.

Who wrote the book?

I used to operate the same way. But my perspective on this changed a few years ago when I interviewed several divorce lawyers about the common reasons couples get divorced, aside from infidelity or money issues. This book is for any couple: those just starting to date, about to get married, or have been in a 20 year marriage. This book is not just about “testing” your alignment across 8 topics. Great relationships are built - and this book can serve as a guide to long-term relationship satisfaction. Studies have shown that dual-career couples with young children spend only 10% of their evenings together, with most of that time spent discussing errands. (In other words, they have to work extra hard to keep that romantic spark alive…) John Gottman is basically a love guru. He has studied thousands of relationships, and after several decades of clinical observation and study, he can predict with 97% accuracy if a couple will stay together or divorce.

What we did:The date called for us to make a physical tribute to the other person. We decided to make a photo collage on Mint to hang in our bedroom. We journeyed to the past as we went through old vacation photos, Snapchat screenshots, and silly videos. After finishing the collage, we answered questions about rituals of connection and life goals. Remember to keep the conversations with each other flowing throughout the course of your relationship! Scott shared a hilarious story about how his mom refused to buy him JNCO jeans — the pinnacle of fashion for middle schoolers in the late ’90s. This led us down the rabbit hole and we Googled the jeans ( here). No wonder his mother refused to buy them. Peering down at the city of San Francisco, the place where we’ve shared the past four years and plan to spend many more, this felt like the perfect ending to our Eight Datesjourney. What happens after the dates? The Fondness and Admiration Date: This date is focused on building appreciation and respect for each other, and learning how to express fondness and admiration for one another. The goal of this date is to help couples build a positive and supportive atmosphere in their relationship, and to develop a deep sense of appreciation and admiration for each other. This date is designed to help couples build a stronger and more loving relationship by focusing on the positive aspects of their partner. To do this, couples can practice expressing appreciation and admiration for each other, and can also focus on identifying and highlighting the positive qualities and achievements of their partner. This can help couples build a more positive and supportive atmosphere in their relationship, and can also help them feel more appreciated and valued by their partner.

The eight dates

Fun and adventure—Playfulness keeps a relationship fun! Do you make time for play and adventures together?