If you do not nurture that attachment to yourselves as parents they will attach to their peers and that is bad as they will not learn what they really need to learn when they need to learn it.

Anyway, all in all, the author is not saying friends are bad, just that there should be adults around, and ideally you would be involved with your children and their friends and their families.Any peer-oriented child knows the deal: don't say or do anything that could reflect badly on others and risk pushing them away. The last chapter on the digital age is probably the most practical, relevant, true, and hopeful information that I have come across. This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it.

The basic neurodevelopmental role of attachment in the establishment of natural authority is explained and the toxic influences of modern attitudes towards parenting and peer interactions on this system were carefully looked at.In the year 2018 we all know how biased and off base our opinions can be so I am surprised the authors did not seek to confirm more of their opinions in scientific study of their hypothesis. So he seemingly accepted that he, the parent was responsible for the peer-orientation in this case - and still claimes the opposite all along his book.

This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media. And that's part of his suggestions is to have a big network of caring adults, family members, and friends to be a part of your children's lives. Even with how much I liked the book though, I'll have to say it did take me about 3 or 4 months to read it. No matter what problem or issue we face in parenting, our relationship with our children should be the highest priority.The only ones holding responsibility for their own thoughts, actions and choices are the individuals, in this case the parents themselves. Even language and vocabulary has dropped as a result because they're getting their language (or lack thereof) from each other. A few pages later he even mention divorce as another thing predisposing children to turn to their peers; also as a fault of our culture. But as the author says, anyone reading the book probably grew up that way and so we don't even realize it's a problem.

this creates an environment where parents have influence to help their kids find emotional connection and maturity. I would have a hard time recommending this to anyone interested in attachment parenting who might not have an easy going child who naturally likes to please, as it sets them up for lots of doubt and wondering what they are doing wrong.But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous—it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. If that requires more energy than you have, Maté insists this is not an energy issue, but “an attitude issue”. When adult influence is cut out of their lives at such a young age, it's no wonder that these young people have stunted maturity. Peer relationships are safest when they are the natural offspring of attachments with parents” (p 42). Nav viegli mainīt audzināšanas stilu un metodes, kas nāk no saviem vecākiem, sabiedrības uzskatiem un kādreiz iedomātām idejām.