This is when I started doing research into where our beauty trends come from and the different things that affect them, from politics to colonisation to class – it was a real turning point for me. That's why I wrote the book, to make sense of that void (or chasm) in the middle." Am I fixed? Do I walk around giving myself high fives in wing mirrors and windows? No. But I feel so much more at peace with my appearance and, instead of dwelling on the time lost feeling ugly, I feel fired up instead. So much of what I uncovered in researching my book – about the history of our beauty standards and how they’re insidiously dictated to us – fuelled a sense of injustice within me that made me want to take ownership of my appearance. UGLY reframes how we think about self-worth and appearance: 3 things author Anita Bhagwandas wants you to know I knew beauty standards ran deeper than we’d been told or that we’re conscious of day-to-day," explains Bhagwandas. "I think deep down we all know that the constant pressure on women in particular to be thin, young, or a certain shape comes from somewhere. But in the moment, when we feel bad about our appearance, it’s hard to remember that." I’ll make a moodboard of beauty and fashion looks I want to try just because I love them and they represent me. And I’ll try one new thing every week.

Published: 30 Sep 2023 At war with my own skin: my life with eczema – and how I found the key to keeping it away I then made a pivotal life choice. Where is the worst place you can imagine a broken human obsessed with being thin and beautiful and never quite measuring up might find themselves? You guessed it: women’s fashion magazines. Bhagwandas is an award-winning journalist, broadcaster, and brand consultant based in London, and the beauty columnist for the Guardian's Saturday magazine. Join her for a conversation with Sali Hughes, the Guardian’s resident beauty columnist and the author of Everything is Washable.

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Much of my work is as a speaker and I have curated, moderated and appeared on panels at Women Of The World and Stylist Live plus numerous literary festivals. I also regularly host beauty events with global brands like Sunday Riley, YSL and The Body Shop.

When my filler started to wear off, I really started to hate my face and hadn’t thought about it in that way before. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it the way I did then. It created more dissatisfaction and I stepped away because I realised you’re looking at a lifetime of upkeep. That’s the place where people can get trapped,’ she says. Instead of doing things because we think we should, we need to think what do I want? How do I want to look?’ says Anita. You’re too big for it. Here’s a butterfly outfit,” declared the lady doling out the costumes, after looking me up and down and thrusting some trousers into my hands, along with a flaccid-looking cape contraption.

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For others it can be trying to access something you’ve always been told you don’t or will never have. Part of my career was definitely driven by being the ‘underdog’ trying to finally feel beautiful and accepted. But for me it was also always about making things more inclusive. I knew women’s magazines could and should be better, more empowering and more inclusive and I wanted to drive that agenda forward." 5. The more we learn, the more we can empower others