uk has compiled a list of the rudest, tongue-in-cheek-est, blush-inducing jokes for Valentine’s Day.

But to your long-term lover who you want to get hot with tonight and who will totally appreciate it for what it is? Even if you and your partner share a common love of sarcastic wit, use this rude poem with caution or you could find yourself out in the cold this Valentine's day. If declarations of undying love aren’t your style, these rude Valentine’s Day cards are the perfect way to spice things up. Perhaps you've received date offers or other offers from these guys or girls and while you've said no, they just aren't getting the message? Two things to remember when it comes to writing your significant other rude Valentine's poems: be sure they share your sense of humor and avoid being so crude that you run the risk of insulting rather than amusing them.Very funny, Patrick and, I mean, how bad can things be if "a guy can find good use of his balls and his wood? Veronica Lopez is the sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers and edits stories about single life, dating, relationships, sex, identity, and more. A straight (in all senses of the word) poem which cuts to the quick of what underpins all romance, whether naturally occurring or engineered.

The ratings/reviews displayed here may not be representative of every listing on this page, or of every review for these listings. There are lots of ways to get creative with how you present your Valentine's poem to your loved one. Check out our round-up of the best rude, naughty, and downright dirty Valentine's Day poems to share with your partner!Whether you want to put these words in a card, send them as a text message or recite them while having a glass of wine together, ‘roses are red’ poems are a true classic. Don’t send or deliver an R-rated pickup line to a total stranger who hasn’t consented to that kind of energy. And lest you think they’re only for dating app matches or first impressions at bars, au contraire—pickup lines are for everyone! Unfortunately, it's funny for many people to use the nastier connotations of the English language with which to amuse themselves. The Comb in the Urinal" is sixteen short stories recounting scenarios about inanimate objects that I have come upon in my travels and what human circumstances occurred to leave them there.