Chloe is confident the relationship was never physical – but 15 years later it is still enormously hurtful. At the time, they had been married for 12 years and had a three-year-old son. “Before, I thought that pain could only come from a physical betrayal – there wasn’t a rulebook to follow for this type.” In July 2011, Secret Affair re-recorded "Time For Action" for Save The Children. [5] The latter spearheaded their campaign for health workers in poor countries, and over 42,000 people signed the petition in the UK which was taken to David Cameron in September 2011, resulting in funds for the cause endorsed and approved by the United Nations.

In 1990, married dentist Colin meets married teacher Hazel, and they start having an affair. Colin assures her their love is a gift from God, and he wants them to act on it. [5] Episode 2 [ edit ]

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The most prominent figures in The Secret true story, Colin Howell and Hazel Stewart/Buchanan are played by James Nesbitt and Genevieve O’Reilly, who has starred in everything from Spooks to Star Wars and The Young Victoria. And the sensitive subject matter of the drama is something that is especially poignant for James.

Yes, says Dr Abigael San of the British Psychological Society – but she stresses that merely talking has its limits. “A lot of the time, couples counselling will concentrate on improving communication, which is certainly important, but it can be a rather superficial intervention,” she says. “You need to go much deeper than that. Chances are, the root cause of the affair will be something to do with the attachment bond, the absolute heart of a relationship.” Bradford, Lauren (2 May 2016). "My family was traumatised first by a murder, then by the TV serialisation". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077 . Retrieved 27 December 2016.

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This is where your focus should be. “You need to trust each other enough to be able to say what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and to reach out to the other for help and trust that it will get a response. That’s the level of work that needs to be done. It will take sustained effort over time.” Not if you don’t want it to be. In fact, none of the counsellors and therapists I speak to feel that the affair deserves the tabloid-headline status it has acquired in our judgmental age. Which isn’t to say that the discovery of infidelity doesn’t really hurt – especially the sustained, secret affairs that cause one partner to reassess everything they thought they knew about the other. What people usually say to me is that the lying and the deceit is worse than the betrayal Janice Hiller, psychologist Perhaps an incredibly trusted friend or two, but no more than is absolutely necessary, says Hiller.

According to a 2015 YouGov study of 1,660 British adults, 20% of people have been unfaithful to their partner. Of those, 15% said their infidelity had no physical component. Dr Gayle Brewer, a senior psychology lecturer at the University of Liverpool, says that if our partner is confiding in someone else instead of us, perhaps with intimate details about our relationship, “we tend to view that as a betrayal”. Reflecting on how her mother was characterized in The Secret, Lauren expressed her belief that the show “fails” to include so many of the wonderful things about Lesley.

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What constitutes infidelity is specific to each relationship, says Sarah Calvert, a sex and relationships therapist based in London, but secrecy can be proof enough. “That is one of the factors – telling secrets and deep, intimate feelings that you wouldn’t want your partner to know you were sharing. It comes down to that basic question: would you be happy for your partner to be overhearing these conversations, or to know how much time you spend thinking about them?” What people usually say to me is that the lying and the deceit is worse than the betrayal,” says consultant clinical psychologist, Janice Hiller. “They say, ‘I can’t trust you. You’re not who you say you were.’ That’s the worst thing.”

Confirmation of her ex-partner’s emotional affair made Anneka, 31, feel strangely relieved: “I felt vindicated that I had been right. I’d spent a long time questioning whether I was just being crazy and controlling.” In a period of a little over two years, they posted five releases in the UK Singles Chart, and released three albums. The debut single 'Time For Action' sold over 250,000 copies and reached number 13 in the UK chart, putting them at the forefront of the mod revival movement. More chart success followed with 'Let Your Heart Dance', 'My World' and 'Sound Of Confusion'. Secret Affair | Nostalgia Central". Nostalgiacentral.com. 10 July 2014 . Retrieved 15 November 2017.a b Colin Larkin, ed. (2003). The Virgin Encyclopedia of Eighties Music (Thirded.). Virgin Books. pp.421/2. ISBN 1-85227-969-9.