I went to the hairdresser and asked for a bob, but they misunderstood and gave me a pair of scissors instead.

Steve’s father used to do my hair,” says George. “Since I retired, I do the odd errand if Steve needs anything, and I have me morning coffee. I’ve been coming here for 30-odd years. And this is what he did to me,” he says, pointing to a bald pate. I saw a pair of scissors on a cooking show. They were cutting up a lot of herbs, I guess they were on a roll! I can cut a piece of wood in two pieces just by looking at it. It may seem impossible, but I saw it with my own two eyes You don’t have to be ex-military to be guaranteed good service at Georgiou’s, as Steve is eager to point out: “We get people from all walks of life, from surgeons to alcoholics – a real diversity of people. They’re all the same to me. I don’t give preferential treatment to somebody just because they’re a surgeon or someone who sweeps the road. They’re all human. Did you hear about the scissor’s sibling who joined the military? They’re enlisted in the Special Cutting Forces! Cutting-edge Comedy (Scissor Puns)

All Solutions for CUTTING

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Why did the scissors enroll in baking school? Because they wanted to be the best pastry cutters in town! Snipping With Wit: Cutting-edge Double Entendre Puns (Scissor Puns) This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.'” – Tim Vine My scissors are always up to date on the latest fashion trends. They’re totally on the cutting edge. I got in trouble for using my scissors during detention, but hey, I was just trying to make some snips!

And I did a TV thing with … remember Alf Garnett … Warren Mitchell? A science fiction thing it was, real weird. I had a little speaking part. They cut it out – it was that good. The only role I had after that was a jam roll.” I asked the scissors if they’d like to join my gardening club. They said they’d be game, as long as they could branch out. What did Wolverine use to cut down trees before he got the adamantium treatment? He used a huge axe, man. I know it’s short notice, but we really need to get this done by tomorrow. Trimming the Wordplay: Scissor Puns Snip Their Way through ComedyI went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'” – Tim Vine