Single in your late twenties or, hold the phone, in your thirties or beyond? Oh hi! You're in the right place. It was also fun reading a book by a writer who is the exact same age as me; I was loving all the cultural references which I could so relate to.

at some point, we all have to learn how to walk into a party or a restaurant alone. Otherwise, we will be willing to walk in with ANYBODY (or worse, walk out with anybody).” People can't wind you up if you don't give them the key!" (quote from the mother of Catherine Grey in this book)Gray’s book isn’t a condemnation of relationships so much as an exploration of her own ‘love addiction’ and the research behind why you should work on being as happy solo as you imagine you would be with someone else. Which is hella valid and worth exploring even if you’re coupled up. This book really is a must read for anybody single and struggling to figure out how to process it. Catherine Gray is the single friend i wish i had, reassuring me that everything is more than ok. There are far better-written books on the joys of solitude, how its distinct from loneliness, why increasingly people are embracing solitude and what do we gain from doing so. For starters, I would recommend these: Instead of the jargon common of self-help books marketed at women, and their inane sets of rules to avoid a lifetime alone, Gray employs her own terminology (see: man-attracting; single sorrow; oneomania). Unfortunately, what she has not managed to avoid is sprinkling clichés throughout. But then, society’s obsession with romance is fundamentally clichéd. At least Gray is self-aware. A culture shift is overdue I really enjoyed Catherine Gray's writing style in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, so I read this. I’m not single, but I could be at any given time (as could we all) and there's good stuff in here about how bizarre our fixation on coupling up and reproducing are as well as how destructive these societal pressures can be for those who choose or have remained single.

Now, I remember that given female life expectancy is 83 for women and 79 for men, even if it takes until age 50 to meet him (or her, if I switch sides, never say never), I will still have 29 l-o-n-g years with that guy (if we are the same age and he dies right on schedule). 29 years! I mean. The longest relationship I’ve ever managed thus far was three years, and it was hard to even keep that alit, so that 29-year hypothetical relationship is going to be a humdinger of a challenge. I can wait. Is fine.” How to Identify Smartphone Dependency, Stop Compulsive Behavior and Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Devices Coming out of a toxic relationship and hating being alone I have now been very happily single for over a year now and this book explains the joys of being single so well. society has consciously or unconsciously programmed our brains to think that marriage and starting a family is the ultimate goal of life, but no! it's 2020 and we should be able to do and live as we please. what i have taken from this book is that i have bloody high standards and boundaries that should never be broken, it will take a very very amazing human to convince me of the idea of marriage, if this person does not come into my life then i will happily and proudly remain single!How being single is often seen as a ‘waiting existence’. That is, waiting to find ‘the one’ and why it’s now a misguided idea.

I don’t know yet, but that is the hallmark of addiction, that flashing neon sign in your brain that blinks and fizzes and demands MORE. That moves further away, every time you inch towards it. That you’re always trying to reach, and never successfully get to. It’s an ever-moving destination.” It's well-written, witty, honest, and an excellent book to dip in and out of. Funnily enough since my last review in 2019, and partly due to reading her book, I've really changed my perspective on being single and really do enjoy living a single life. She says she is not bothered by the thought that she may never have children. “You don’t have to have children to complete you, in the same way that you don’t need a partner.”

Celebrate your ‘done’ lists

Over half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single. It's become the norm to remain solo until much later in life, given the average marriage ages of 35 (women) and 38 (men). Many of us are choosing never to marry at all. That is so true when you think about,” says Catherine. “A year ago I really wanted to live on my own, I was done with house-sharing and I wanted furniture so that I could feel like an adult. Now I have these things, but of course now I'm thinking ‘I want to buy a flat’, and ‘I want to make my flat look like Soho House’. You forget that what you have now is what you always wanted. And you made it happen! So you need to consciously remind yourself.” In The Unexpected Joy of Being Single, author Catherine Gray is single and happy at the end of her story. She even realizes that she would still be happy if she stayed single for the rest of her life. For someone with her inauspicious beginnings, that joyful perspective on singlehood was totally unexpected. of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars The Unexpected Joy of Being Single by Catherine Gray we’re held up by the scaffolding of the stories we tell ourselves. Without that scaffolding, we feel insecure, wobbly, like we’re a building that’s about to rumble to the ground.”

Being single for an extended period - or for life - can be incredibly empowering, fun and emancipating. You don’t have to be single to enjoy this book – the techniques Gray suggests to help self-soothe are useful for anxiety. And for those in a relationship, it raises important questions about co-dependency and who you are as an individual. It is comforting to have someone rationalise your most irrational thoughts, the weird hypothetical situations you create in your head before actually meeting someone, and those intense digital connections which fray rapidly in real life. I am so glad I read this book (on a whim, because of a rail replacement bus), and I will certainly be revisiting it and recommending it to anyone who will listen.So true: "The feeling of failure over being single is created by a thousand paper cuts of the sympathetic 'Oh wells', or the 'You'll meet someone' reassurers, or the 'Have you tried?' fixers." I know those 'Have you tried?' fixers are trying to be helpful, but seriously, do you think I haven't tried internet dating yet? Or anything you're suggesting? I have yet to have anyone ever give me useful advice. So you know what, unless we ask for it, please keep your advice to yourself, smug marrieds!