Furthermore, just as the title of his chapter is just the reverse of what is true, so is his notion of “false self” and “true self” reversed in that his so-called “false self” is truly him and his “true self” a figment of his imagination. At any rate this system of finding out who we are is a false system, contrived from the imagination of mere humans, for which the apostle Paul’s warning could be applied: But this teaching undermines the biblical teaching of the sinfulness of all men and makes the atonement at the cross unnecessary. Furthermore, if God is in every human and all things, then he is in all religions. Tony Campolo and others see that this is a necessary corollary and Campolo has stated: ‘Mysticism provides hope for common ground between Christianity and Islam.’ (Speaking My Mind). The book is probably best considered in terms of the concepts of diagnosis and cure. In diagnosis we are given a wealth of stories and biographical material to consider. Scazzero shares story after story of woe – church splits, marital strife, bitter pastors, etc…. So what was the problem? Why all this failure? Interestingly, Scazzero lays the blame squarely at the feet of a church culture of “emotional repression” (55). He says,

Whether married or single, most emotionally unhealthy leaders affirm the importance of a healthy intimacy in relationships and lifestyle, but few, if any, have a vision for their marriage or singleness as the greatest gift they offer. Instead, they view their marriage or single-ness as an essential and stable foundation for something more important—building an effective ministry, which is their first priority. As a result, they invest the best of their time and energy in becoming better equipped as a leader, and invest very little in cultivating a great marriage or single life that reveals Jesus’ love to the world.

The Contemplative Paradigm

Emotionally unhealthy leaders also engage in more activities than their combined spiritual, physical, and emotional reserves can sustain. They give out for God more than they receive from him. The demands and pressures of leadership make it nearly impossible for them to establish a consistent and sustainable rhythm of life. In their more honest moments, they admit that their cup with God is empty or, at best, half full. I like to say it this way: Their “being with God” is not sufficient to sustain their “doing for God.” Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world.

The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships. Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is possible when every voice is heard. Pete was born to an Italian-American immigrant family from Brooklyn, NY. His grandparents, of both his mother and father, were from a small village outside Naples, Italy. Their family owned an Italian bakery before moving to a New Jersey suburb less than two miles from Manhattan.My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this , that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Pete hosts the top ranked, Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast and is the author of a number of bestselling books, including The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. Pete and his wife Geri also developed The Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course (Part 1 and 2), a ground-breaking Course being used by over 1400 churches in North America along with many others around the world. His books and materials have been translated in over 25 different languages. The old nature is far too damaged by sin to be healed or fixed! It must be replaced! When Jesus died on the cross He became sin for us. He took the punishment for every sin we have committed. When He died in our place, He broke the power of sin, and, as we identify with His death, we recognize that “our old man [old nature, old self] is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin” (Romans 6:6). Here is our freedom from the past, including “emotional wounds” and any sinful attitudes and behavior that Scazzero insists came from the faults and failures of parents, grandparents, and others. When we identifyIn over four decades of leadership, I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill...

Jesus refused to separate the practice of the presence of God from the practice of the presence of people. When pushed to the wall to separate this unbreakable union, Jesus refused. He summarized the entire Bible for us: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37–40). (P. 171.)

Scazzero says that his way to Emotionally Healthy Spirituality is a painful process, which requires much hard work: According to the Bible, all humans are under the conviction of sin. In fact, human depravity is a clear doctrine in Scripture. All but Jesus are by nature depraved. Scazzero avoids the word “depravity” throughout his book as he uses psychologically derived reasons why people behave sinfully. His technique is to eradicate each flaw or sinful behavior category through identifying it in one’s home environment or genealogy rather than in one’s own personal depravity. He evidently does not think people need to die to the old nature, the old self, but rather to keep what they like about themselves, which may indeed be the very worst of sins, that of pride. Like the introduction of emotional health, this was both a major, yet very powerful shift for our community. We slowed down our lives to be still before the Lord, practiced Daily Offices and Sabbath-keeping, and began exploring the development of our own personal “rule of life.” Contemplatives fully schooled in the Contemplative paradigm embrace panentheism. Dr. Ken Kaisch, a prominent teacher of the contemplative, has written in his book, Finding God: “The first and important result [of this prayer] is an increasing sense of God’s presence in all things.” William Johnson also states in his book The Mystical Way, that: “God is the core of my being and the core of all things.” (compiled from Ray Yungen). We see in these few lines, the Apostle Paul teaching the Ephesian Christians how they were to grow to spiritual maturity. First, they received the truth. This truth then informed their thinking, and consequently led to the transformation of their conduct. The end result was godliness; a new self “created to be like God…”