Every Family Has A Story sees bestselling psychotherapist Julia Samuel turn from her work with individuals to sessions with a wide variety of families. Diving deep into eight case studies, with her usual storytelling panache and the latest academic research, she analyses a range of common issues including separation, step-relationships, leaving home, trauma and loss. In doing so, she reveals insightfully how deeply we are influenced by our families -- including the often under-appreciated impact of grandparents and siblings -- and offers universally applicable insights into how families can face challenges together. Her twelve touchstones for family wellbeing -- from fighting productively to making time for rituals, and from setting boundaries to allowing difference -- provide us with the tools to ultimately be better family members ourselves. Fascinating... Julia Samuel's compassionate work never fails to inform, comfort and make me think' Pandora Sykes Kita, vis dažniau knygose mane atrandanti tema yra karantinas! Ta universali pasaulio patirtis jos metu! Ir, tiesą pasakius, aš tarsi vis laukiau, ką psichologai tirs ir kalbės apie pandemijos įtakas ir poveikius. Ši dalis buvo labai įdomi, nors jai skirtas foninis, antraeilis dėmesys. 💛 Since we live longer, rearing children takes only half of our adult lifespan. We therefore live as adults in our family for much longer than we did in the past, carrying with us the burden or gifts from it. Every person living in these different models of family will have their unique response to them, which will be informed by their genetics, environment and experience.

Julia Samuel is so wise and compassionate. I love every word she writes and long for every reader—every person—to experience her unique and generous way of being in the world.” —Cathy Rentzenbrink Autorė knygoje sudėjo skirtingas šeimas ir jų patirtis. Džiaugsmus, stiprybes, silpnumus ir nuoskaudas. Žavėjo jos pačios empatija ir žmogiškumas. Kiekvienoje istorijoje radau ir ją pačią, jai kylančius jausmus ir kūno pojūčius. Toks dalyvavimas sesijose pasirodė labai jautrus, pakeliantis, palaikantis ir kuriantis ryšį. Kate mentions a podcast with Tara Westover called “Remaking Home” , which discusses more about childhood trauma and pain. You can also read Tara’s book Educated . The bestselling psychotherapist explores what we inherit and how we can create the families we wish for Kate: Yeah, that’s right. The thinning of all these things that hold us up, the cutting of all of our puppet strings. You write very movingly about a family who is trying to say goodbye. It was a family trying to say goodbye in the impossibility of losing a parent with cancer. And you were walking them to the edge of a difficult grief in an impossible moment of pandemic isolation. How did you help them live inside of a story that was going to be and feel incomplete in such a big way?I'm not a fan of reading book summaries; I prefer to know very little about a book before diving in. My selection process usually relies on recommendations from authors, podcasters, or experts in topics that pique my curiosity. Julia: Yeah. So it’s the same thing, but just keep going. Just keep going. Don’t ask for help. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t make me feel bad because your I can’t help you. Just glide past me so that I’m not, you know, demanded of or made to feel uncomfortable. But at the same time, you’re really lonely and chilly out there in that horse. Why do some families thrive in adversity while others fragment? How can families weather difficult transitions together? Why do our families so often exasperate us? And how can even small changes greatly improve our relationships?

A wise and important book, full of insight into the pain and beauty at the heart of family life... I loved it' Clover Stroud Julia Samuel offers us vivid insights into the way family structure, stories and experience exert their influence across generations. Here is a book for all families, where we can appreciate our own family’s strengths and take courage to explore our hurts. The issues are so vibrantly explored that I was utterly drawn in. This is a book about love: a superpower when we use it wisely and well.” —Kathryn Mannix An essential, clever and kind book that reminds us that we can never hope to understand ourselves without deeply understanding our families. A testament to the ongoing relevance of psychotherapy and to Julia Samuel’s preeminent skill as an author and therapist.” —Alain de Boton History, to paraphrase author and activist James Baldwin, lives within us. We are vessels for narratives derived from our collective culture, ancestors and lived experiences. And that's why it's so important to capture them. Learning the stories of those closest to us not only enables us to better understand the trajectory of their lives but also helps us make sense of our own. Kate: Yes, that’s right. I imagine the Canadian version would just be like a deep, awkward politeness, like just a small wave if you happen to be.Kate: And. What do you suggest for people who have incomplete stories and don’t have enough information to piece it together in a way that’s satisfying? Mystery is sort of can be a terrible maybe maybe we just have to grieve that mystery. What makes Samuel outstandingly sympathetic as a therapist and as a writer is her unusual willingness to admit to faultiness and not to be remote or over-authoritative. She is a virtuoso listener, but wears her heart on her sleeve and will occasionally admit to feeling unequal to what she is witnessing. Her lovely—and in no way insensitive—character leavens the narratives assembled here. . . . The Samuel magic continues to obtain.” — The Guardian Julia: They could then they wrote in this wonderful letter, the three of them, because I said to them, you know, their love for the person never dies. They would like I can’t have a relationship with them I only have one photograph. And but every time they talked together and they wrote this such a beautiful letter to him, because, of course, he was still very much in them and part of them, and they could see themselves in him. They had his eyes or his sense of humor, and so they healed by telling painful truths, which is really what you talk about, is that by facing and not hiding from painful truths, we can’t fix the reality of what happened. But we can learn to connect and even love and allow ourselves. Discuss this episode with a book club, friends, or bible study group. Here are some conversation starters:

Julia: And that’s what was so awful about the pandemic was that people who suffered suffered more in the pandemic because of that isolation. Yeah. I mean and that that really caused real harm, I think real psychological harm to to millions of people. If I recall correctly, this book was mentioned in Esther Perel's newsletter, and its title immediately caught my attention. This year, I've been delving into novels that explore the intricacies of family dynamics, so I felt it was the perfect time to explore a nonfiction book on the subject. Join Author and psychotherapist, Julia Samuels as she discusses her latest publication with psychoanalyst and Author, Stephen Grosz.

I am fascinated by families for good reason: families matter. Family is the single most important influence on a child’s life and their outcome. They carry that reliable love into adulthood, as it strengthens their emotional, physical and spiritual well-being, which enables them to live a happy, healthy and productive life. Tiesiogiai su psichologija susijusias knygas aš skaitau, kaip terapiją ir pagalbą sau. Ir šią skaityti man buvo emociškai sunku. Vienoje iš istorijų radau daug panašumų ir skaudėjo už juos ir už save. Bet pats procesas džiugina, kai tokiu būdu gali permąstyt save, naujai, iš kito kampo pamatyt situacijas, o perėjus viską pasijaučiu lengvesnė. 💛 Kate: Yeah. Then I just had some ugly, terrible fight with somebody at one point. My sister and I, and I was like, Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m just. I’m so sorry. And my dad said, Oh hun, I would so much rather you than the memory of you. And what I heard in that was I would so much rather the terrible complexity than the abstract perfection. And that gave me a lot of permission not to. It’s up to sort of be in pain politely, but to just let the try to let the weight of what I was and was going through to be something that more than I would have to carry. Yeah. Yeah. Photographs of Kim Hawley and her father Jim Scherman. Hawley is the founder of Strength Through Story, an organization that helps birthing parents manage perinatal challenges through writing. Despite encouraging others to share their stories, Hawley hadn't done the same excavating within her family until interviewing her father for Life Kit. Julia mentions the Winnicott Term and the Good Enough Parent , a term coined by the British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott. Kate also spoke about this idea of being a Good Enough Parent with Don Rosenstein and Justin Yopp in an episode called “The Magic of We”.