Glennon Doyle, We Can Do Hard Things podcast Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon . . . she understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift Jessica’s friends offered to take her to Al-Anon – an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous that’s geared toward the family members of alcoholics – but this made Jessica angrier. Why did she have to do more work when he was the one who caused all the problems? Why did she need help when he was the one in recovery? Jessica felt unappreciated, unheard, and unloved. We try to live happily---focusing heroically on what is good in our lives today, and feeling grateful for that. We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more. Detachment involves "present moment living"--living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. we relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day. ...

This leads to the next talking point that codependents are not attached solely to people but to the environmental situations as well. They are somewhat compelled to put the feelings of others above theirs with total disregard for their interests. Go in, eyes wide open. Don't worry about what will occur and when. The things we worry about aren't usually the ones that happen. The things that cause the most pain will catch us by surprise some ordinary Saturday afternoon, and life will never again be the same."

I was first introduced to the term "codependent" by my therapist a little over a year ago. I remember being flabberghasted. "NOT ME! I'm the most financially independent woman there is. I don't need a man or anyone for that matter!" This scenario repeated itself for months. One day the guru entered the cave, asked the same question, heard the same answer, and raised his cane to hit her in the same way, but the woman grabbed the cane from the guru, stopping his assault in midair. One woman wrote to me recently, saying she had read all my books and had been recovering from codependency for years. "I want to learn more, though," she wrote. "I want to go deeper into my codependency. Please write more about that." Furthermore, worrying about people and problems doesn't help. It doesn't solve problems, it doesn't help other people, and it doesn't help us. It is wasted energy.”

I also learned that I need to detach myself from the people in my life that cause me harm…emotionally, physically, doesn’t matter… This is the book that started it all. I know it is cliché but, this book has changed my life and my thinking…Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.” The Codependent No More Workbook was designed for Melody Beattie fans spanning the generations, as well as for those who may not yet even understand the meaning and impact of their codependency. In this accessible and engaging workbook, Beattie uses her trademark down-to-earth style to offer readers a Twelve Step, interactive program to stop obsessing about others by developing the insight, strength, and resilience to start taking care of themselves. So what is codependency? The term was coined originally to describe spouses of those dependent on alcohol or other drugs. For example, we'll say a woman is married to an alcoholic husband. The husband, dependent on the alcohol, is hampered in his ability to overcome alcoholism because of his codependent wife. Codependents like most other people overthink on lots of things, but the peculiarities are what predetermines a person’s codependency inclinations.