There’s a lot of communication that needs to go on regarding our expectations — and even figuring out our expectations — as well as knowing what the other person’s parents expect,” Garner said. “It doesn’t seem right to have my daughter have people she could be attracted to in her bedroom overnight,” Garner said. If it is not equally applied, you might be sending the subtle message that being heterosexual or cisgender is the only or more valued identity accepted in your home,” Wells said.

Two girls lesbian checking in to the hotel room. Vacation

For example, are you worried that your daughter won’t be able to tell the difference between friendship feelings and sexual feelings? Between a carpeted rumpus room and a gay bar? That she will, as a result, hit on all her guests while they’re painting each other’s toenails or playing Monopoly? I know you’re not, but that’s the homophobic stereotype — the same one that kept gay people out of the military for so long — that you’d just be minding your own business and before you know it, some gay somebody would be snaking a hand into your straight cargo shorts. (Dream on, hetero narcissists.) Holly Billinghurst is a parent with a 13-year-old pansexual daughter and a 14-year-old transsexual, bisexual son. There was just one rule for Katie Garner’s three children when it came to sleepovers: They were all single gender (her sons, 8 and 11, only invited boys and her daughter, 14, only invited girls).

These rules should remain consistent regardless of sexual orientation, said Kristopher Wells, associate professor of Sexual and Gender Minority Youth at MacEwan University in Alberta, Canada. two girls though its biologically impossible to get up the spout. and also like others have said theyre clothed. I let mine share the pool with boys in shorts when theyre in bikinis so not really different. Full disclosure: Our kids have always had sleepovers with both boys and girls since they’ve always been friends with both. I don’t imagine that they’re suddenly going to turn from Doritos and pingpong to cunnilingus, but if they did? Then I would trust that’s what the kids were ready for, regardless of anybody’s gender. My son said, “It’s funny — the kind of parents who wouldn’t let you go to a co-ed sleepover in the first place? I feel like those aren’t the parents you’d come out to. So I’m sure these guys are cool, but I don’t even get the ‘no boys’ rule to begin with. They should just open it up so she can have sleepovers with everybody.” (I did have to remind him that boys are historically and actually more dangerous to girls than girls are — and then he was all sheepish, so I reminded him that I didn’t mean he was, what with his waist-length hair and gentle ways, and he nodded.) I remember doing the exact same thing with swimsuits on with my best friend. We were a little younger probably 13 years old.

The Sleepover (2020) - IMDb The Sleepover (2020) - IMDb

If you or your children aren’t comfortable with same or different gender sleepovers, you can suggest daytime visits or other arrangements, he said. As an older counselor and as an administrator I would eventually fall in love at camp with other counselors three more times to varying degrees of length and success. Always, the moment of mutual realization of interest, connection, or falling occurred during an earnestly camp-only activity -- while teaching a session on lantern maintenance during staff week, while boning up on my swimming with a waterfront director in a blue Speedo, wielding a whistle, and a ring of keys tied to a small flotation device that she flipped around on the end of a lanyard, or while learning group dances we would later share with the kids. I don't necessarily want to "blame it on the Bossa Nova," but if the dance fits...I think it’s important for adolescents to have a safe environment to experiment, but also to teach them that dating is not just about sex,” Collins said. “Simply having everybody at friends’ sleepovers reminds teenagers that there are lots of fun activities you can do.” At one point, Billinghurst’s son was dating her daughter’s friend. Billinghurst said that her children are allowed to have sleepovers with anyone they choose — including their love interests — but if they’re dating the person who is sleeping over, then they can’t share the bedroom. And as a general rule, the bedroom doors stay open. Totally supportive” is such a beautiful starting place, Struggling. If you cherish your daughter and respect her sexuality and she trusts you and your intentions, then you’ve all got it made in the shade, whatever pajama-party rules you end up deciding on.

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I crowdsourced my response by reading your question to my kids over beans and polenta. They loved the idea that you were inclined to be equal-opportunity about your strictness — they took it as a sign of respect for your daughter’s sexuality that you would extend your prohibitive instincts to include girls. But they didn’t think you should. “I mean,” my daughter said, “you could allow her to have sleepovers with just gay boys and straight girls and asexual kids, but what are you going to do? Ask everyone at the door?” But today, as fewer kids are identifying as exclusively heterosexual, some parents are questioning what to do about those gatherings.I remember a friend of mine doing this with another mate, because one of them had this fancy new colourful bubble bath and a glitter bathbomb....and they wanted to sparkle Now last night she was here for a sleepover, and my daughter came and asked me if they were allowed to take a bath together, swimsuits on. I said no, because it took me by surprise and I had an instinctive "I need to understand this better" reaction. I was a teenager once but let's face it, that was 25 years ago and a different generation. However they identify, our kids are going to need to learn how to recognize their feelings and how to act on them in safe, happy, mutual ways. I feel like preventing opportunities to do that isn’t going to accomplish so much. My daughter is 14, and she has a very close friends, also 14, who is often at ours for sleepovers and my daughter goes to theirs too. I sort of know her family, we're not close or anything but they seem like normal good people and their daughter is a nice, well mannered girl.

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And while parents should talk to their own children about sex and sexual orientation, they should never out their child — even when it relates to the sleepover, Glashow said. I'm a bit confused. I do want to allow my daughter to have her own experiences as she grows up, but to put it simply, I don't want her to do anything stupid that could get her into trouble. Quite a few parents have discovered after the fact that the best friend who is always sleeping over is actually a girl or a boyfriend, Hakanson said. In the latest book of the long-running Lola Reads series, Lola is off to her first sleepover! She’s excited about spending the night with her cousin Hani and Hani’s two moms, Lola’s aunts. The fact that they’re a two-mom couple is a complete non-issue.Ultimately, the kids should be allowed to choose who is invited to their sleepovers, but parents should be aware of all the extenuating circumstances. Once kids hit puberty and their sexual feelings start to awaken, it’s important to be mindful that sleepovers — as well as unsupervised daytime visits — can become an opportunity for sexual exploration, Hakanson said. Our 16-year-old daughter came out as bi. We’re totally supportive of this, but are unsure how to handle sleepovers. Do we continue to allow them with girls but not boys because that seems right even though it makes no logical sense? Expand the rules to include boys, because what difference does it make? Ban them altogether and win the Meanest Parents award? Help! For example, if your house has a no public display of affection rule, make sure it applies equally, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.