In a world that has increasingly become complex and challenging, group narcissism has become a compensation for personal failures, flaws & frustrations. We must strive to become intellectual nomads, keep moving, keep learning, resist confining ourselves in any cultural or mental ghetto, and spend more time at margins where the real change comes from.

Very beautifully gives context to the complexity and fluidity of the human nature whose in distraught today because we’re constantly conditioned to find our box, label ourself in permanent tattoo and never dare to change because that would make us a traitor. Which in reality has just made us strangers in our own homeland and even skins. A better title for this book would be, "How to Reiterate Ideas We're All Likely to Agree With for Fun and Profit". (The one in English is, "How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division".) Shafak’s writing in support of pluralism, democracy and moderate standpoints is a warm bath in these troubling times The speed at which people are judged, stances are taken and strong opinions are expressed against other people on social media platforms purely based on a single tweet or a couple of tweets, without ever having interacted with them in real life, continues to disturb me. In real life, I find people to be so complex and multi-faceted that it often takes several in-person interactions to be able to understand them, their character and their motivations. As Shafak says in this book, “ Be afraid of people who promise an easy shortcut to simplicity”. She urges everyone to always embrace complexity over simplicity.

The parts were she talks highly about knowledge acquired through books has got to be my favorite as I deeply related to what she was describing. Off course she already did this stunningly in her Ted talk ( https://www.ted.com/talks/elif_shafak...) but we are fortunate enough to have a bit more of her magic storytelling, and we can in only a few hours feel uplifted and more empowered. Sinds ik Elif Shafak hoorde spreken op het Festival van de Gelijkheid in Gent (2019), ben ik fan van deze auteur. Niet alleen schrijft ze prachtige boeken - 10 minuten 38 seconden in deze vreemde wereld vond ik fantastisch - ook is ze een bevlogen sociaal-maatschappelijke schrijver die ijvert voor een betere wereld. How to stay sane in an age of division is het eerste non-fictie boek dat ik van Shafak las. I read and I read and I’m underlining and nodding and finding these words so incredibly profound - simple, to the point, relatable, maybe even not so groundbreaking but, profound nonetheless. Meer dan de helft van de mensen die in een democratie leven, zegt dat hun stem nooit of zelden wordt gehoord. We kunnen alleen maar raden naar dat percentage in landen met een autoritair regime. Alles samen zijn er op deze wereld dus heel wat mensen die het gevoel hebben dat ze geen zeggenschap hebben over hun eigen leven, dat ze geen stem hebben.

It is not, of course, quite so simple. If (to reverse the logic of her argument) having the privilege of being able to tell your own story were a sufficient qualification for being a good listener and nuanced debater, then many of those on the current Tory frontbench should be some of the best listeners we have. They are not. And historians may bridle at her sweeping claims about “power and wealth” now being “increasingly concentrated in the hands of a few”, or about the “growing number of citizens” who feel excluded. Try telling that to a 17th-century slave or peasant: for all its faults, the culture of the last hundred years has spread power more widely than almost ever before.If you've spent any of your time on social media networks in the past few months (especially since the pandemic started) and experienced anxiety or what Ashley 'Dotty' Charles calls in her book Outraged: Why Everyone Is Shouting and No One Is Talking(my recent read) as " Outrage fatigue", then this book may offer some comfort to you by validating your feelings first. It may also empower you to be more mindful of such feelings the next time they occur. Shafak writes elegantly about the " group narcissism" that seems to be happening a lot on social media networks lately. She argues that it causes anxiety first, but it ultimately leads to apathy. She empathizes with the anger under oppressive and unjust circumstances, but she calls for restraint. She argues that anger, by itself, is a destructive force. The sheer intensity of anger, she says, can become a substitute for doing anything productive. She advises to channel the anger into a calmer and more productive force that can lead to substantial results. If you cannot tell your own story, she argues, you will not be willing to listen to the stories of others. Those who are “systematically unheard” will systematically not engage with ideas that conflict with their own. (Why on earth should they?) When “a growing number of citizens feel left out, not so much forgotten as never noticed in the first place”, it is no wonder that public debate has become increasingly crude. In an argument that is closer to the critics of the Harper’s letter than to the letter itself, she implies that many of those who now complain at the decline of free expression only have themselves to blame. In a world that is ever shifting and unpredictable it is totally fine not to feel fine. It is perfectly okay not to be okay.