I definitely went into this memoir expecting mostly to have some fun reading about sexual exploits of a self proclaimed slut, but actually came away from it learning about more than I anticipated. The book started fun, responsible, educational, and biographical, but changed to irresponsible, potentially damaging, and biographical at the end. He's a diva who embodies some of the most toxic traits of many cis-white-males in the queer community. Later he realized, “That’s kind of fucked up to take it as a point of pride and to reduce people to objects. The book is divided into four sections, each with its own specific theme and message: Shame, Confusion, Security, and Pride.

While I agree that there should be much less shame when it comes to STIs, being careful is sensible and makes sense and I don't think we should be encouraging people to give up condoms.

It is a personal and powerful testimony inspiring us all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described sluttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives and, through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.

Similarly, it’s necessary to acknowledge that most people don’t respond well to conflict as it unfolds. Lots of filler and surprisingly little regarding the endless unique experiences hinted at in the introduction.As a whole, a fascinating book and a fast read, but also one that left me feeling like there is better sex positive messaging out there. There were parts of his story that he took time with and seemed to really show us the vulnerable process of it all and then others where his humor and bluntness sort of seemed almost to deflect from any real insight to what he was talking about. We definitely need more sex positivity in society, but I personally would draw the line on disregarding protection.

Through therapy, socialization, and life experience he explores a journey to self-acceptance that assures us it's okay (and healthy) to have questions and doubts, but also insists we don't let them get in the way of living our lives.He doesn't encourage the reader to ask themselves how the media has portrayed people of that race, if they have ever interacted with someone of that race in a meaningful way, etc. In a world where sexuality and masculinity are often misunderstood and conflated, Zachary Zane manages to use his own unique experiences to knock down stigmas and expand what it means to have a healthy relationship with sex. I agree that bisexual men in particular still suffer from being "invisibilized" by broad swaths of people, even within the queer community. has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. A constant refrain from those who think of or turn to suicide is loneliness, especially among queer people.