A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. The doctor walks in and says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” “I don’t understand, doc,” the patient says. “Why?” “Because,” the doctor says. “I’m trying to examine you.” You are supported by your parents with regards to food, petrol, rent, tuition, and a vehicle? Would you mind elaborating on what it means to be self-sufficient?” Catch a glimpse of these filthiest dirty minded jokes with answers and make sure to share these dirty riddles for a naughty mind with your friends at the upcoming slumber party and enjoy the night.

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!” Because once you’re done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. If you are having a tough time while coming up with your own dirty jokes then we would suggest you to, go through the given dirty mind funny jokes for a good giggle. If they’re making cakes for divorces, why not ‘Happy Menopause!’ ‘Mmm, it’s a bit dry. Why is there no jam? Have you run out of eggs?Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Donald Trump has a small one. And Seal doesn’t have one at all. What am I? Which is your favourite sexual position? There it is, my own! It’s known as the virgin. You just stand there with your legs as far apart as possible, eagerly awaiting the next appropriate person to pass. People like this are popular. Did you think you were pregnant? Ahh…so so? I sincerely hope you never talk again. In other words, you are an oxygen thief.” pol.i.ti.cian/noun/: the act of shaking someone’s hand prior to an election, followed by the action of raising the public’s confidence thereafter” Villages like Shitterton and Penistone have resorted to village signs that aren’t so easy to take as souvenirs. Photograph: Alamy

Are you in need of some dirty minded jokes? Well, don’t you get tense because we have got you covered with a bunch of dirty jokes to share with your friends and family. I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.For those mates with a twisted sense of humour, our offensive gifts are for you. Shop our middle finger sculptures, offensive office stationary and even personalised rude underwear! I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time,” a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, “Your penis is bigger than your brother’s.” The reason trees bloom in the spring is so their foliage will be out of the water in the summer months.” There isn’t much of a difference between blondes and brunettes when it comes to who enjoys more fun. The larger the boobs, the prettier they are.”

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel. My parents found out I was smoking and instead of paying me in cash, they gave me gift cards. The dealer claims to understand and accepts it, no questions asked.” For us being adults, dirty jokes become more acceptable and entertaining alternative in any situation. Therefore, we have shared with you a few dirty minded jokes to have a good laugh while no one is watching. I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,” the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”

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Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. All men have it. Some have theirs longer than others sometimes depending on where they come from. The Pope and most Catholic bishops rarely use theirs. Men usually give it to their wives once they are married. What am I? I lived there with my grandmother as a baby,” George explains. “She was a great storyteller about her village. There used to be a coaching house dating to the 1700s. There used to be Georgian pubs. By the time I was an adult, almost all of this was gone. It had been demolished for modern buildings. Even the church has been rebuilt several times. My kids fall about laughing whenever I talk about Bell End and protecting it – but it’s an ancient name. It’s one of the few things the village has left in terms of its history. In a way, if we lose Bell End, we lose everything.”