Why do people bully you, beat you , rape you, make you incredibly uncomfortable, take things from you slander you , and lie about you. UNTIL you do not want to be here or are in a hospital bed with tubes hooked up to your lifeless body or when you are dead? I don’t get this unjust world we live in. Reading all these comments, there are many of us that don’t want to and don’t need to be here, yet everyday there are people dying unjustly by random acts of violence or other tragedies. These are people who are hopeful or have great lives ahead of them. Meanwhile, we are hearing everyday about the destruction of our earth. The main culprit is overpopulation. So why is it not ok, for those of us who don’t want to be here, remove our footprint humanely to sustain the earth and let others thrive. I am glad life worked so well for you, but not many people receive such blessings as “love at first sight”, long stable marriages, loving children, careers that make them happy, and property…that might not be the best story to rub in the face of someone who wishes for death….hearing about the glorious lives of others drives some people into deeper despair…you’re just boasting about everything we have never had or experienced. The harsh reality is that many of us never will experience love, and many of us will never have children or even a home to call our own.

I’ve just now gotten to the stage described where I wake up in the early hours of the morning and just want to be asleep again. I failed to make the probation period on a government job I got after about six months of searching after a layoff at a previous job that I used to love and had for 5 years. That’s where “passive” comes in. People with passive suicidal thoughts don’t want to do anything to make themselves die. They wish it would just happen.

What is Suicidality?

I really hate when people say that’s the past just get over it move on if it were that freaking easy don’t they think we would all do it if it was that easy to overcome our pain that we have suffered for so long that we would just do it if it was possible wouldn’t that be amazing wouldn’t it be wonderful it’s like the computer with the refresh button for our brains that would be awesome but that’s not what happens Please, talk with somebody about how you’re feeling. Sharing your thoughts with a trusted friend, family member, teacher, doctor, minister or other person (or people) serves two purposes: One, they can try to help you. Two, you may not feel so alone.

So I decided to push almost everyone out of my life. Because if you love them eventually they’ll hurt you or abandon you. Sometimes the loneliness is worth the pain it brings. I don’t feel like I have anything to live for. All the pain I have every day doesn’t seem worth waking up in the morning. I have tried every avenue to try to alleviate this pain. Nothing has worked and I’m now at the end. I have no more ideas to try. No new doctors to see. No miracle drugs are on the horizon. I’ve had depression for many years and mostly do well. The problem is my partner. I am in a gay relationship and my husband, while most of the time is great, turns into a monster when he gets angry. He can’t seem to stop himself long enough to calm down. It turns into days of him making me feel bad, threatens to leave, blames it all on me. Once he’s through, he cry’s and tells me how much he loves me and doesn’t want to leave. I know this is not healthy for him or me. But, we do love each other. I can’t imagine not being with him, but at this point can’t imagine how we can continue to do this. We have been you for 28 years. You have many talents, and perhaps in time you’ll find a way to use some of them even if your health doesn’t allow you to commit to a regular schedule of work. But don’t feel guilty about the times when you can’t. Be kind to yourself.I hope this may bring you some comfort. I am nothing, a no-one but it doesn’t stop me from caring or reaching our with such similar thoughts. I normally don’t publish comments where someone announces their intent to die by suicide; per the Comments Policy, comments that “announce an unequivocal plan or intention to die by suicide” won’t be published. I hesitated to publish your comment for that reason. However, I am making an exception for various reasons: I do sense some equivocation on your part. At the same time, I think it could help people to read your stance and understand how someone can appear at peace with their choice to die by suicide. And I think it can help you to be understood. I hope I am right. This really stunned me. She handed me her phone number and whispered ‘call me.. it’s time to start over’.