There’s Something I have to Tell You is a superbly crafted mystery, a seriously clever debut. It is an original tale highlighting the volatility of family relationships and the invisible ties that hold them together, written with a controlled and expert hand. Bravo Michelle McDonagh! I was given access to read this book for free through online book club The Pigeonhole. This is an honest and voluntary review. Dok sam otpočinjala čitati ovaj roman učinio mi se malo drugačijim, ali sa svakom novom stranicom prepoznavala sam detalje iz ranijih knjiga, „Bude“, „Intime“, ali i one memoarsko-biografske „Osluškujući njegovu dušu“. I ma koliko da mi je teško pisati esej o Kureishiju (neizrecivo teže nego o Murakamiju npr.), prisiljavam sebe da to spoznanje nakon čitanja ne ostavim unutra. Da nađem način da ga približim onima koji ga još nisu čitali, ili onima koji ga nisu razumjeli. Ne usuđujem se, pak, reći da ja jesam u potpunosti. Hanif Kureishi, dijete Pakistanca i Engleskinje (što je itekako obilježilo njegov identitet, tj. potragu za njim, odrastanje mladost i cijeli život), pisac, čovjek. I opet se nađem u ćorsokaku i pitam se kojim sam putem trebala poći i šta sam to htjela napisati? Pa se vratim na raskrsnicu od nekoliko puteva, a ni za jedan nisam sigurna da nije ćorsokak i da opet neću zastati. Ako očekujete avanturu i zaplet, rasplet i happy and, onda Kureishi i nije baš idealan izbor za vas. Happy and ne postoji u realnom životu, a njegove su knjige upravo to. U njima samo postoji nada i put kojim se nastavlja potraga za srećom i smislom. Ako očekujete idealne likove, ili pak moralne puritance, onda Kureishi ponovo nije izbor za vas. Njegovi su likovi samo ljudi, grešni, i često izgubljeni, skloni eksperimentisanju drogama, seksualnošću... I iako u tom pogledu imam čvrsto izgrađene stavove kad je u pitanju moj život i moj lični izbor, nisam u stanju da se zgražam niti da mu sudim. Ne mogu suditi nekome ko piše tako iskreno i virtuozno. Ne mogu suditi nekome čijoj se iskrenosti i smislu za humor nadasve divim... „Nešto da ti kažem“ knjiga je nakon koje sam šutjela i potonula na dno sebe, manje nego nakon Austerovog „Izuma samoće“, više nego nakon Murakamijeve „Norveške šume“... Murakami daje Nadu. Kureishi daje nadu. Auster kao da kaže: „Živimo, a smrt je neizbježno tu.“ i nada ponire. Čak iako vjerujemo u život poslije smrti. Znam da sam nakon „Izuma samoće“danima padala na dno sebe... ali, vratimo se Kureishiju! Na površini ovog romana je priča o ubistvu, griži savjesti (kao Dostojevski), prihvatanju samog sebe, o ljubavi, prijateljstvu, umjetnosti... o drogama, sexu, potrazi za identitetom, za smislom. Ispod površine to je priča o samo jednom, o čovjeku. Likovi u romanu traže i pate. Džamal, Mirjam, Henri, Džozefina, Ađita, Mustak, Volf i Valentin (u kojima prepoznajem Kureishijeve prijatelje Georgija i Briana iz „Osluškujući njegovu dušu“). Jedino je Rafi, dvanaestogodišnjak, Džamalov sin, samim tim što je još dijete pošteđen bolne spoznaje o životu koja pritšće sve odrasle likove. Rafi mi je subjektivno najdraži lik u romanu, a njegov odnos sa ocem najemotivniji i najljepši diskurs. Ljepši i od onog o ljubavi. Džamal Kan, psihoterapeut, vraća se unazad trideset godina i prisjeća svoje najveće ljubavi, Ađite, te kobne greške zbog koje ju je izgubio. Ali, da li bi njegov život išao u istom smjeru, da nije bilo tako? Da li bi postao terapeut i osluškivao ljudske duše? U knjizi se isprepliću sadašnjost i prošlost, umjetnost i politika, ljubav i mržnja koji su, spoznat ćemo, gotovo pa jedan te isti osjećaj. Frojd i Čehov, Tačerica i Toni Bler pominju se nerijetko, a Mik Džeger je i sam jedan od, istina sporednih sudionika radnje. Homoseksualci, prostitutke, emigranti, buržuji, radnička klasa... duboka depresija i čista realnost... Traganje za smislom, i borba u prihvatanju sebe i opraštanju samom sebi. Čak je i ubistvo, koje u trenutku pruža nagovještaj da se ipak radi o još jednoj iole komercijalnoj priči, realnost, jer nije počinjeno ni pištoljem, niti nožem, nego je srčani udar nastupio nakon zastrašivanja. Sve je u ovom romanu, iako fikcija, vrlo realno. Sve miriše na Kureishijev život, na njegovo djetinjstvo u predgrađu, i pomalo traumatično odrastanje uz nadimak Paki. Na konstantno iščitavanje knjiga, ali i na, nasuprot nama „knjiškim moljcima“, konstantno iskušavanje i kušanje života, da bi nam, neupitnom iskrenošću prenio svoja iskustva na stranicama svojih romana, priča i memoara. Iako mu zamjeram što se nije dublje pozabavio islamom, (jer islam nije „imati samo jednu knjigu“ kako je negdje „između redova“ nabacio) "dižem mu kapu" na iskrenosti, virtuoznosti pisanja i na humoru, koji nam je u ovom životu punom duboke depresije itekako potreban!

The positives - I enjoyed the professional relationship between the main character - criminal solicitor Jay - and the lead detective Ken Bright. It was respectful, they shared information, but took their different roles seriously. I mean it didn’t create any sense of drama and seemed a bit too removed from reality, but it’s nice to see a story where there’s mutual ungrudging respect between the person investigating a murder and the person defending the main suspect. I really enjoyed the exploration into the exploitation of young people by the college debt schemes and the pressure that is placed on teenagers to have their entire life planned out! And that is for all the kids, let alone for that Queer teens! It is the Queer teens/Young Adults that need to place time, energy and mental resources into dealing with their sexuality or gender identity on top of dealing with normal teenage life! What I was promised was a crime/mystery, when in reality what this novel provided was a boring story about personal life of a lawyer who happens to have a client who has/hasn't killed his wife.There's Something I Have To Tell You had me gripped from start to finish. My engagement with, and enjoyment of, this book was definitely enhanced by my familiarity with the settings, characters and cultural references. The story is set on a working farm and farm park in Co. Galway, and it was easy to picture this as the one my grandson often visits. The Kennedys could be my neighbours. The description of University Hospital Galway could only have been written by someone who has been there, and who, in Ireland, isn't familiar with the gossips, the begrudgers and the folks with 'notions'? The story started good and it finished also okay, but with all the repetition and dullness in the middle, and also the parts that should have probably been heart wrenching and emotional, but were just frustrating and boring in reality, it wasn't a good book. I really struggled to predict the ending on this one, and I failed miserably! I was still guessing right up to the end 😅😅

And, it turns out, love-whether it comes from someone else or from inside yourself-can make all the difference.” A minor thing though is that I, personally, would have liked to read more about how Chasten and his husband Peter met and fell in love, not just being told about it in such a matter-of-fact kind of way that felt different from the other parts of the story. It would have added a lot to the story if it had included more of their first meetings, letting us readers feel the attraction and butterflies, and seeing it evolve into their current HEA. I would also have liked to know more about Chasten’s experiences after coming out and learning to be comfortable as a gay man before meeting Peter. But I’m guessing that those parts were included in the full memoir for adults and had been edited away to keep this story shorter and more focused on the early ages. Which makes complete sense, and also makes me want to read the full memoir to find out! On Glenbeg Farm, it was a sunny morning like any other. Only the distressed bark of beloved collie Samson hinted that all was not well.’ This heartwarming memoir is suitable for young adult readers, but it particularly resonates with those who identify as queer. Chasten's witty and relatable storytelling style is easily digestible for young readers and he discusses opportunities like living abroad in detailed ways that made me want to visit Europe again. He also goes into some tough details about the challenges of campaigning and the bigotry his family faced when his husband Pete Buttigieg was running for President.

As is the nature of a memoir, many topics are discussed and could be considered trigger warnings for many people.* Clearly no contender for Mother of the Year, Ursula also repeatedly broke her promises to her second son Robert and his wife Kate, who lived on the farm and worked alongside the older couple. Their marriage was on the verge of disintegration immediately prior to the two corpses being found at the farm, so it could truthfully be said that Ursula's death gave Kate and Robert a second chance at working out their relationship.

Michelle McDonagh has been writing, in some form or other, for over 25 years and this experience has clearly stood to her. I thoroughly enjoyed this engrossing, engaging and cleverly convoluted tale of an agricultural family with rot at its core, just like the apples displayed on the cover. Although based in Ireland, this story could be set anywhere. Land is central to many disputes, with families at loggerheads the world over as inheritances are fought over, with internal rivalries destroying many relationships.I Have Something to Tell You explores a variety of topics… murder, infidelity, love and trust to name a few. This is a remarkable tangled web of a story and I was thoroughly engrossed from the opening chapters. I loved being the fly on the wall in the successful lawyer, Jessica (Jay) Wells's family and watching their dramas and dynamics impacting Jay's professional life.