When A and I started dating, I mentioned on the phone to my mother that his ex-girlfriend was also Taiwanese. She paused on the other end of the line. “Hm,” she said. “Be careful.”

But then I would be in the business of writing scripted desire, that is, porn. Porn sells—or at least, it’s widely consumed, because people get off on it. Viewers come for a certain performance of sex in porn, and they come when they get it. Readers come for a certain performance of traumatized Asian women with white boyfriends who don’t understand them, and they are satisfied when they get a narrative that leaves them feeling virtuous for having read something that helps them understand the plight of Asian women, or having their victimhood affirmed. Porn is fine—I watch porn, you probably do too. But porn, with its potted narratives and singular purpose, leaves little to the imagination. In contrast, art at its best, as the essayist Melissa Febos puts it, disrupts “our internal scripts” and compels us to create our own stories. A series of short bleached-themed stories requested by my readers. Please see the first chapter, rules for more information. Language: English Words: 42,527 Chapters: 14/14 Comments: 152 Kudos: 674 Bookmarks: 179 Hits: 136,344 For Asian American men, the nagging sensation that the prevalence of WMAF is a problem, rather than a sign of progress, cuts severely across the grain of the mainstream narrative, which was that American society was inexorably improving on issues of race. With the election of Obama, the arrival of a post-racial American century seemed indisputably real, and the idea that interracial relationships could be a problem rather than a sign of hope was utterly quashed, given that our President was himself a product of interracial love. In a social environment which attaches an unfailingly positive vibe on contemporary interracial relationships, even Asian men who think deeply about this issue are prone to rely on the historic explanation of our ambivalence. But by placing the problem in the past, we gaslight our own emotions to be a product of what is, essentially, a fear of ghosts: Phil Wang: There is a difference, you do see a lot more Asian women with white males — that combination — than the other way around. That’s obviously true and I think I was never angry at that, I was just like “why?” While these same girls may appear submissive and weak to the perception of white women, it's just because Asian women rarely show bad attitudes. The difference is that because of their cultural upbringing Asian women are classy, polite, respectful, and drama-free in contrast to their white female counterparts who got used to hearing "yas queen" from everyone. White male attraction to girls like her is a reality, and needs to be supported and encouraged I don’t disagree with Srinivasan, but it’s worth pointing out where she doesn’t explicitly go, which is to the original question: Should we try to discipline our desires? No! No!! There is a duty to work, to the best of our abilities, toward the transformation of the political, economic and cultural forces that shape our desires. But to discipline desire itself? I think not. For one, talk of disciplining desire has a violent history. The notion that there exists a moral duty to liberate those who are enslaved to their misguided passions is a well-worn justification for colonialism. We might then worry, with Andrea Long Chu, that “moralism about the desires of the oppressor can be a shell corporation for moralism about the desires of the oppressed.” One suspects that the scrutiny of one’s attractions are more often demanded of Asian women than white men. And for the Asian woman—who, as Anne Anlin Cheng notes, is also known as the “Celestial Lady, Lotus Blossom, Dragon Lady, Yellow Fever, Slave Girl, Geisha, Concubine, Butterfly, China Doll, Prostitute”—the call to discipline her own desires sounds an awful lot like a command for her to internalize the racialization of Asian women as sexually deviant.Sam, 18, moved to America with his family. His mother, father, and two younger brothers, Seth 17 and Nathan 13. They were struggling as a family to find the American dream, a white dominated country. They found their American dream. Not in the traditional meaning of it, but the natural-selection sense. Language: English Words: 1,257 Chapters: 1/? Kudos: 80 Bookmarks: 21 Hits: 11,141 In Minor Feelings, Cathy Park Hong questions why Theresa Hak Kyung Cha’s brutal 1982 murder was severed from her rape, as though the two had no connection: “no one admits that Cha was also raped, an omission so stubborn I had to consult court records to confirm that she was also sexually assaulted.” Oh, I followed my partner here.” I recited the story of how I met A. As the party drew to a close, I wondered if I would run into this man again. Side note: never been opposed to an Asian girl, just never happened (never MET met/wrong timing I guess). I've also dated many American women, of course, plus women from Russia, Ukraine, Poland, Ireland, Colombia, and Brazil, plus an Iroquois woman and several Jewish women.

My thrill upon encountering Olenka is not the pleasure of representation derived from identitarian identification—seeing, for example, a Taiwanese American woman just like me in a story. Instead, it is the pleasure of recognition. Chekhov is unsparing in his depiction of Olenka, but in his unsparingness resides a keen ethical attention. He writes her with honesty, bringing to life a woman with whom I immediately identified. As I recognized Olenka, I am recognized by Chekhov. It feels good to be seen.I have always been cautious to a fault. I am precious with my body, the reason why I avoid sports that involve fast balls or speed in general (which is to say most sports). But when it comes to matters of the heart, I throw myself headfirst, not so much falling as diving into love. I am addicted to love: its hot flushes, its cold sweats, the way I am unmade and remade by it. And, as I found out the hard way, we would be hubristic to presume that desire is something that can even be disciplined. There is something to the fact that the body-positivity movement that saturated my feeds in the 2010s has only ever made me more obsessed about what I looked like and what I was putting in my body. I was losing my erection at this point. I was so focused on keeping Lulu happy that I ignored my own pleasure. I pulled out, and decided it was time to try oral. Lulu had already asked if I liked oral, and I had told her that I did. It was time to put her pussy to the test. I carefully repositioned Lulu so that I could get a good access to her vagina. Lulu was completely shaved and I started to work my way down south. I made a few circulatory laps near her lower belly, the slightly raised area of skin where she had removed her pubic hair told me that I was getting near the good area. I had a really good close up of her vagina. Her lips were open like flower petals and i began to kiss and put my lips over them. when I am with the right girl I can really get carried away giving them oral pleasure. I like to play around the outer area before putting my tongue all the way in. The fractures of our relationship, at the time, were far harder to trace than any iteration of microaggressions. They were mostly imperceptible, our domestic bliss smooth and perfect like a snow globe. But sometimes, I caught sight of them: in the vague awareness that we were having less sex (once a week, and then once a month, and then once every three months); one evening, when I called my girlfriends to catch up and found myself all of a sudden in tears. I brushed away their concern, but I grew increasingly aware then of something in the recesses of my mind that I had tried to ignore for months: a sense of being trapped by the monotony of our routine, suffocating in that snow globe of domestic bliss.

We carried on getting to know each other over dinner – which was at a small Italian serving elaborate small plates of cicceti. But to her great credit, Natalie’s open-minded approach to the topic does allow the revelation of stories that call this optimism into question. For example, her white-passing hapa friend Sar Satria describes going to a music festival with her full-Asian boyfriend, and being harassed by a white man for being with a “faggot” and not a “real man,” on the presumption that Sar was a white woman. Sar describes being among white social circles, and being reassured that she is beautiful “despite” having Asian genes, what she calls “indirect racism.” And she admits to a fear that her quarter-Asian son will be exposed to the same indirect racism she receives, and perhaps worse, will fully integrate himself into and embody a whiteness that she holds deep reservations about.

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It was nearly 9, And I knew my housemates would be out somewhere, because we always went out on Thursday. Sam Sanchez moves with his beautiful voluptuous mother to a nice neighborhood, leaving their urban ethnic ghetto behind. Shanie encourages Sam to find new friends, even bribing him with a PS5. But all that's waiting for Sam in his new home is pain and despair when a mean white boy comes into his life... If you have any suggestions or ideas please leave them in the comments. Language: English Words: 138,649 Chapters: 64/? Comments: 20 Kudos: 442 Bookmarks: 100 Hits: 89,359 I know most men aren’t very direct with their feelings. But the best way to keep your Asian girlfriend is to remind her of your feelings whenever you can . Do it as often as you can – send texts, cards, whatever. You can see how important this is from the app Between, which was developed in South Korea. They actually developed it so that couples could havea private space to share all of their memories and words of affection. I’m not suggesting you go that far. But many men have said that Asian women like to text on average several times a day. Don’t date an Asian women if that seems too high.

This looks like an awesome group! Here’s my story! I’ve recently grown tired of white women tbh, it’s become a bit of a treadmill going out with them. I’m 26, WM (obviously lol), musician, huge gamer, taller and fit guy (6’1 225) and ever since college, my best friend (Filipino) has ALWAYS been the best time. I’ve met Japanese, Burmese, Cambodian, Vietnamese people and had all of those types of food, THROUGH HIM and had the absolute BEST times of my life.Lola expressed concerns that FetLife’s acceptance of racist speech will contribute to further stigmatizing misinformation about the nature of the BDSM community, including stereotypes that kinky people are dangerous or that enjoying BDSM is a form of mental illness. “For people who are real kinksters, we are fighting so hard to not be demonized — why do you think this is something you should allow? This makes it worse for all of us. Just fix it. We’ve been saying it for years,” she said. I share Lola’s frustration. All people deserve a welcoming space where they can explore their sexuality without fear. Many turned to FetLife, hoping that could be that space for them. Now, many are turning away. A didn’t believe in enchantment or myth, but I have lived my life in search of transcendence. I have glimpsed it, here and there, when I read a novel and feel the exhilaration of recognition, or when I catch my lover’s eyes and feel that I have found my refuge. I live for these moments, when I am unmade and remade by words, unmade and remade by love. So, our stories diverged, and the world spins madly on. At first my rage was uncomplicated because I assumed none of these women had the slightest inclination about their partners’ true feelings until it was simply too late. But that’s an easy way out of a hard truth. New questions obsessed me: What if I knew and chose to stay? What if I’d sensed clues but tried to ignore them or reason them away? Would a “preference” for Asian women seem not only unproblematic, but harmless, even desirable? Not only that meme is inaccurate, it's also dumb, prejudiced and annoying. It's based purely on anecdotal evidence and hearsay about old white guys who take on younger brides from the less developed parts of Asia, this certainly isn't the norm.