Something machine-washable means you can wash it and not have to worry about germs or bacteria transmission,” says Sloane. This will make getting lube out easier too. If you prefer the look of an underwear-style harness, as many folks who are new to strap-on sex are, be sure to take careful measurements of your thighs and waist before shopping to make sure you’re getting the right size. Underwear harness recommendations Keep in mind: If you’re going to be using the strap-on for penetration as opposed to masturbation or oral play, you don’t want a silicone toy that’s too soft, such as Cyberskin or Ultra Skin. As with the harness, the size, style, and material of the dildo are all important. Let’s start with material. Harness play can also be incredibly enjoyable for vulva owners during sex. Depending on the shape of your body and where you position the harness for best thrusting, wearing a harness may lead to a clitoral or vaginal orgasm — or even a blended one.

that feels like you’re just wearing underwear, McDevitt suggests the Calexotics Scandal Panty Set, which looks like a sexy pair of Now that you know which style you want, keep harness material in mind. Harnesses come in a variety of materials including rope, leather, neoprene, nylon, spandex, polyester, or a mix of these. Again, the harness can have a dildo built in but usually comes separately so you can attach one. Pegging play usually involves a toy that’s larger than a finger or butt plug, so you’ll want to work up in size and adjust to the sensation of being penetrated and avoid pain or discomfort. For first-time strap-on sex, Stubbs suggests a silicone toy. These are typically less heavy and easier to control than glass stainless steel. Plus, it has more give so it’ll likely be more comfortable for the receiving partner. Now sure how someone with a penis can enjoy harness play? Here’s a little more detail on how wearing or using a strap-on on during sex can be pleasurable even for folks who already have their own phallus.You’re probably going to get the most use out of a dildo that is 5 to 6 inches long and 1.5 to 1.75 inches in diameter,” says Sloane. That may be too big for your partner, especially if they’re new to pegging or penetration. You’re going to want a nonporous material, especially if the toy is going to be inserted into the anus where there’s a lot of bacteria,” says Stubbs. It’s also important to consider the dildo’s texture. “For some partners, the texture can become irritating,” says Sloane. That said, if the partner being penetrated has used and enjoyed textured butt plugs, dildos (not attached to a harness), or G-spot toys, there’s reason to believe that they’ll enjoy a textured strap-on experience. Sometimes called pegging, this form of anal penetration can be incredibly physically pleasurable for people with penises, says Boyajian. “The prostate is located just a few inches inside the anus, toward the belly. For some, stimulating the prostate can produce pleasurable sensations and better orgasms.”

If you’re on a budget — underwear harnesses can get a little pricey — or you already own a strap-on harness and don’t want to buy a second one, you can wear the strap-on style harness over a pair of underwear to get the underwear look and feel with the strap-on stability. Think about the harness material Vaginal penetration can be pleasurable for some, thanks to the G-spot, the A-spot, the feeling of fullness, and the power dynamics it may invoke,” says Sloane. The anus does not self-lubricate, so lube is an absolute must for anal play,” says Boyajian. “No matter how turned on you may be, there is nothing to prevent unwanted friction unless you add lube. Not only does this help to prevent painful microtears, but it will make anal sex way more pleasurable,” they say.Sloane recommends strap-on styles, because she says they’re easier to fit snugly to the body and usually have a longer shelf life. colors — and non-realistic colors if you prefer that,” says Sloane. The Shilo is their most popular with a prominent head that makes it

Plus, pegging may provide an opportunity to explore power and pleasure dynamics that may not already be a part of your play. If you’re buying solo, think about your own needs and plans for use before buying. Here are some helpful considerations. Questions to ask when shopping for a harnessPorous material may trap bacteria inside the toy, making it harder to clean and not optimal for use in and around your genitals. designed specifically for bigger bodies, try the NYTC’s Mason. It’s longer, making it easier to use, without added

Wearing a strap-on harnesses can allow folks with penises who have erectile dysfunction or who have had their prostates removed to have sex with and please their partner in the way they are used to,” explains sex and relationships educator Sarah Sloane, who’s been teaching strap-on classes at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest since 2001. during masturbation before you go right to pegging,” says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D. This helps prep the sphincter, or the ring of While the vagina is self-lubricating, it usually only lubricates for at most 30 minutes of penetration, Sloane says. It’s the difference between something feeling good and not feeling good, so make sure to use and continually reapply lube during sex. You want something you can clean pretty easily, especially if you’re going to be using it with multiple partners. Your dildo should align with your needs and desires for harness play. To reiterate, if you have a partner who you’re planning to use the dildo on or with, take them to the store if you.The A-spot, or anterior fornix erogenous zone, is a sensitive area of tissue at the end of the vaginal canal. “When stimulated, this can heighten arousal, activate vaginal lubrication, and spark an orgasm,” explains Boyajian. It’ll be challenging to insert them without needing to handle the shaft with your hand the entire time,” Stubbs says. Your best bet is to hold the toy in your hand and test how much it jiggles. Think about what that might feel like inside your, or somebody else’s, body.