Description: Most of us tell little white lies all the time. Whether it's 'I'm five minutes away' or 'It must have gone to my spam folder', most of these innocent fibs are harmless. But what if you realised that you weren't just lying about the little things, but the big 'life' stuff too? When Toni Lodge sat down to write this memoir, she realised that the lies she was telling herself were hiding some pretty important home truths-about her work, her identity and her mental health. Her dogged pursuit of these truths sent her on a brazen exploration of everything from gastro, fame and Twilight to funerals, the Dalai Lama and Brazilian waxes. Congratulations Toni, I’m sure your family are so proud of you and having all these moments documented is so special. We walked down to one of those young people shops, where the music is loud and the clothes haven’t been steamed before they’re put out on the floor, so you have to do it when you get home. Everyone working there was a young woman, each one of them more gorgeous than the next. They wouldn’t find it difficult to get dates for their mums' funerals. Lodge is upfront and honest, her life has been largely fortunate. She hasn't lived a life like Anne Frank, Tara Westover, or Tadeusz Borowski. By reading this book I was reminded that sometimes life's greatest struggles are the ones we all have to deal with, the loss of a parent, growing up, dealing with anxiety and depression on a regular basis. This isn't to say that living under Nazi Germany or growing up in a cult are no big deal, but rather, I probably (hopefully) won't have to live through the equivalent of Nazi occupation and as such, I am able to relate to Lodge in a way which is rather more personal.

If there’s a book to read this year, make it this one. It’s so far my fave book of 2023 and I’ve written this multiple times trying to get the right words. The key thing that I enjoy about Toni Lodge, in both her podcast and this book, is the aura of authenticity and sincerity which she has about her. Sure, its a plus that she can somehow make gastro hysterically funny, but her authenticity is what is truly compelling, there's really no hint of a manufactured personality.. After a long early morning turned into the sun rising for another day to begin—a day where people could snooze their alarm instead of going to the gym, or wake up and make a smoothie and live better than the rest of us—I was lying in bed watching The Mindy Project and feeling heavy with emotion. It was as though I was falling in and out of consciousness. I was fully aware of what was happening on-screen, but my inner monologuewas turned up to eleven. In London, we stayed in this gorgeous hotel in South Kensington and got to walk in the sunshine to the Tube to go and do fun touristy things. The best thing was seeing my favourite musical of all time, The Phantom of the Opera, in the West End. Not that we were boring. My mum was a massive fan of travel- ling and exploring! She loved to get out of the house and she’d take the chance whenever she got it. So much so that another popular family holiday destination was Myuma.

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I’m a pretty well-adjusted person. When it comes to change, I’m not too bad. After years of therapy and lots of effort and brain-retraining, I have become pretty good at taking on new circumstances. But there were many years when I was not like that, and now, I know why. Funnily enough, I actually did text a boy after my mum’s funeral while drunk on emotions and finger food, and he was out doing something (or so he said) and was a real gentleman about it and never brought it up again or made me feel embarrassed for BOOTY CALLING HIM AFTER MY MUM’S FUNERAL. That night, I was so proud of Happy that when mum was taking us to the video shop, I took the snail with me. I figured I might be able to show off my cool, quirky pet if I ran into any of the girls from school. With Happy securely inside the yoghurt container, wrapped in my arms, we trotted down to the shop. I’m a pretty smart person, but from time to time, we all suffer a doofus moment. Mine was being upset that I couldn’t see the fish from the train. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was to realise it was a concrete tunnel and wasn’t like when you go on the little conveyor belt through an aquarium.

My dad isn’t a big fan of flying. I remember asking Mum and Dad if we could go on a family holiday on a plane, like the other kids, and Dad said, ‘Toni, if we could drive there, we’d have been everywhere already!’ This probably sounds quite tragic, but where does the family who hates change go on holiday? Their literal house.Anyway, that specific relateability of Toni's story wasn't the only reason that I enjoyed this book. It was like sitting down with a friend-of-a-friend who you only sort of know over some beers and really getting to know them well. The conversational tone, the honesty about the good and bad, and the humour all made this an engaging read. I decided toast, and the news felt normal, and we started our morning with regular idle chit-chat and ignored the elephant in the room: the fact that we needed to make arrangements and plan my mum’s funeral. We went for coffee and ice-cream afterwards in a little corner café. It was like something out of a movie. I can still see us sitting there, laughing and talking about how amazing the show was and discussing my dreams of playing Christine Daaé because I would be able to sing AND dance the part – then the camera pans outwards and the credits roll on this amazing movie where a mother and daughter live happily ever after as best friends and nothing can come between them.

Through the book Toni shares funny stories, thoughts, memories, predicaments and incredibly raw honesty.My family were big fans of doing the same thing every year. We found a way that worked and then were like, ‘Why fix what’s not broken?’ and just kept on going with the same thing. And if we were thrust into a different place or experience and it went well, that was added to the list. My mum once won a radio competition on Mix94.5, where you had to call up and answer a question to win a holiday. I don’t remember the question, but the answer was Crocodile Dundee. She followed up by saying, "Like, honestly, I’ve seen so many girls try that one on and you look gorgeous in it! And so versatile too, you’ll get so much wear out of that one! What’s the occasion?" I was expecting the laughs, and there are plenty of those, but what I wasn't expecting is that Toni lost her mum to a brain tumour when she was young. Same here. The way she wrote about the grief in the aftermath of losing her mum was the first time (in over 15 years) that I felt like there was someone else out there who genuinely got the way I had felt. So that was impactful for me personally. When Toni sat down to write this memoir, she realized that the lies she was telling herself were hiding some pretty important home truths—about her work, her identity and her mental health. In her dogged pursuit of these truths, she brazenly explores everything from gastro, fame and Twilight to funerals, the Dalai Lama and Brazilian waxes.

TONI LODGE is a comedian, author and podcaster. Her latest book, I Don’t Need Therapy is a hilarious memoir which exposes the lies Toni has told herself about who she is and what she is capable of. Read on for an extract.

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