Perhaps for the first time, the boy had been told honestly and straightforwardly, with honest respect, within what limits he could operate. I remember one woman with a paralysis of the right arm who constantly dreamed of stabbing her husband—with her right arm. It is meant for human beings w h o have ordinary emotional responses and the need to express them freely. I have known men who "protest" that it is their great love of womenthat makes them constant questers of 'love. I am grateful to my former teachers, at the American Institute for Psychoanalysis, for my training in Karen Horneys theory.

At times it will be almost impossible to see any relationship between a poison and simple healthy feelings and expressions of anger. This is not hard to understand when we think of how we tense ourselves in response to various emotions. Expansive anger is usually used in the service of sadistic manipulation or outright bullying in controlling people.

He does so usually in response to some increase in bodily tension or discomfort or frustration -- the need for food or relief from the stick of a diaper pin, for example. Perverted anger provides a reservoir of emotional slush that poisons one's system and leads to all kinds of emotional infections. Twisting It: The Assorted Poisons 53 well did they awake to the fact that they had been "somber and heavy-hearted" for years.

Some of the most vicious forms of bullying— blatant or subtle—take place between parents and children. It is therefore important that we recognize the various forms of poison as part of an effort to reverse sick processes in active pursuit of change, growth, and better health. Here are some of the typical statements the conscious down-putter makes: "So Tm angry—that doesn't mean I have to give in to it. But the things that make us angry and the ways we feel and the things we do w h e n we are angry are not the same for all of us. Think of the poisonous effects on one's self as well as on one's relationships with other people—again having repercussions upon oneself.When I first meet someone new for treatment, I start by saying that discomfort and anxiety are just feelings, like any other feelings. One woman I saw had had six unwanted pregnancies before she became aware of the anger toward herself that was involved each time.

But the things that make us angry and the ways we feel and the things we do when we are angry are not the same for all of us. Twisting It: The Assorted Poisons 55 jolly fat girl w h o without her awareness ate even more than her usual huge quantities each time her anger was provoked. Sometimes—when it is "safe" and too late (for his health)—he allows some of his feelings to come through.

W h e n she realized and worked through her anger at him (largely for burdening her with an unwanted responsibility), she was relieved of the thoughts.

He did not know that their relationship was based on fighting and that they would resist valiantly any attempt at "peace" or understanding. Messages that are smooth and free-flowing will have concomitant healthy physical expression and counterparts.They form an intricate interdependent network so that all emotional upheavals produce repercussions throughout the whole person and his relating fife. As she was able to feel, accept, and express (with a good deal of emotion) these feelings, the thoughts vanished and sleep ensued. Sometimes it is all right for you to get angry, but sometimes you can't, even though the circumstances are identical.