Without any notice whatsoever, she pulled the towel away and grabbed my penis. I sat up straight away to cover myself and said: “Oh sorry, no no no”. I think something weird happened,” she said, then described the vigorous butt rub. “Do you think that he was trying to do more?”

I met one of Raine’s masseurs, Simon, at a coffee shop. A former breakdancer with an engineering degree, Simon made his way into massage after getting laid off in 2008. “I’d tried massage parlors before, and I thought, ‘Why can’t women do what men do and take ownership?’” he tells me. “The next thing I did was print up business cards.” After that exercise, Stewart led Cookie to the massage room and told her to take off as much of her clothing as she wanted. Then he told her to command him to touch her where she wanted to be touched. “I was such a scaredy cat,” she recalls. She was afraid to instruct him to do anything sexual. Intimate massage isn’t about perfection, so don’t worry about doing it “right.” Try to stay in the moment. “The quality of your touch is more important than technique,” says Peggy Morrison Horan, author of Connecting Through Touch and a founder of the Esalen Massage Program at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA. “Massage is about being emotionally present, touching your partner with intention, and paying attention to his reactions.” What could be sexier than that? Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc. Originally Published: 6 Steps to a Sexy Massage Massage video tutorial How to give a massage This may not have been what massage school had taught him, but it was a lot more fun than kneading a lower hamstring. So, he put an ad on Craigslist offering massage with a picture of himself: buff and beautiful. By the third time, I was wide awake. It wasn’t a little brush this time. I could definitely feel her fingers touch my balls.Once your partner is situated, find a position for your own body that you won’t mind holding for a while. You can sit beside your partner, pull up a chair next to the bed, or—if you want to heat things up right away and this works for both of you—straddle your partner while you oil up your hands and prepare to caress their stress away. Friction is done without oil and loosens up deep muscles. Anchor the area you’re massaging with one hand, and use the other to deeply press and rub. For smaller areas like the shoulder caps, soles of the feet, and palms, apply friction with your fingertips. What made it so erotic for her, she says, is that “it was somebody just making sure I got off. And that was all they wanted. They didn’t have any other expectations. And then I didn’t have to talk to them after.” Whereas, when she hooks up with her boyfriend she has to worry about his feelings, and the experience always ends in full penetration. In the massage parlor, “there was no penis causing any discomfort, and I didn’t have to deal with condoms or birth control.”

Your most important massage tool is lotion or oil, since this will help your hands glide more easily along your partner’s body, Pasciucco notes. Just make sure you review the ingredients first, especially if either of you has skin allergies or fragrance sensitivities. I just bawled my eyes out, like I had never cried before,” she says, recalling that he held her as she cried for 10 minutes. “I realized that the work that we were doing was actually much, much deeper [than sex]. This was attachment work, like having-an-emotionally-neglectful-father stuff.” After the dinosaur role play, he explained the massage that he’d be giving her that afternoon. “My goal is to try to use this vibrator on you for 45 minutes to an hour,” Stewart said. No—but are you OK?” he asked. He was worried, because when Tanya was 23, she had been sexually assaulted, and he thought the experience might have retraumatized her.

She’d learned from Reddit that when men are at a parlor, they don’t really have to ask for a happy ending. The masseuse would ask them, make a gesture toward their penis, or sometimes, “the men would have an erection and that was the indicator for the masseuse to offer it,” says Tanya. “It seemed so simple. But as a female, I was like, ‘How do I indicate? And do I even want that?’ And then part of me worried, ‘What if I get one and then I get arrested?’”