The title of the book has since become commonly used, often as a dismissive categorization of all popular psychology philosophies as being overly accepting.

In showing us how to make the conscious decision I'M OK-YOU'RE OK, he has helped millions of despairing people find the freedom to change, to liberate their ADULT effectiveness, and to achieve joyful intimacy with the people in their lives. Even if you’ve sworn never to behave like your mother or father, chances are you’ll eventually catch yourself doing exactly that. Everyone, at one point or another, feels so overwhelmed that they believe things will never get any easier.Harris did not sugarcoat racism in families, so his stark examples of racism in some vignettes might be unsettling to some readers.

Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not OK feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on others (parents) for stroking and caring. Question your Parent and Child data: ask yourself if your old data is true, if they are appropriate responses and if they are serving you well. Thomas Harry says that a secure youngster is one who finds that most Parent data is reliable: They told me the truth.Though limiting and destructive, they were also a sort of comfort, absolving us of the need to really confront unresolved psychological issues. Harris continues to explore aspects of Christianity with reference to TA, together with more generalized questions about the nature of religion. There is considerable contradictory information on the internet regarding the publication date of I’m OK – You’re OK. Instead, the confession of an Adult makes a critical assessment of where change is possible and looks for ways to make that change happen.

We are deeply indebted to Freud for his painstaking and pioneering efforts to establish the theoretical foundation upon which we build today. The more we get to know the content of our Parent and Child, the more we can separate them from our Adult.

I am heartened by the recent writings of a number of young psychiatrists which demonstrate a healthy aversion to spending an entire professional life treating ten to twenty patients a year. The boy might simply have problems that are not (necessarily) a consequence of “I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK” position. Their influence can be understood by carefully analysing the verbal and non-verbal interchanges ('transactions') between people, hence Berne's name for his model: Transactional Analysis.

I’m OK You’re OK”, like many old-school psychoanalytical approaches, talks in terms of dogmas and ultimate truths. Rather than working with abstract concepts of consciousness, Harris suggests that the pioneering work of brain surgeon Wilder Penfield in uncovering the neurological basis of memory could offer complementary insights grounded in observable reality. For example, a single person could take these positions in different scenarios:* Their birthday party (+/-)* While watching football to scold the opposing team or to talk badly about common friends (+/-)* When attending a beginner dance class and the others seem to be able to do much better (- / +)* After a quarrel with their partner (- / -)However, the own favorite life position remains, which runs like a golden thread through life. The famous book Games People Play by Eric Berne is actually only focused on Games, a very specific part of transaction analysis. Throughout the episode, he ends conversations with people not saying "I'm okay, you're okay," despite it often being a non sequitur.I'm OK, you're OK‘ is implicitly fundamental in the theory, practice, and teaching of Transactional Analysis, yet the meaning of the phrase has not been specified in the literature. The purpose of this book is not only the presentation of new data but also an answer to the question of why people do not live as good as they know how already. Central to most religious practices is a Child acceptance of authoritarian dogma as an act of faith, with limited, if not absent, involvement of the Adult. A song went through his mind, probably as he had heard it on a certain occasion: he found himself a part of a specific situation that progressed and evolved just as the original situation did. What I hope to demonstrate in this book is a new way to state old ideas and a clear way to present new ones, not as an inimical or deprecating assault on the work of the past, but rather as a means of meeting the undeniable evidence that the old methods do not seem to be working very well.