Reading this blog post means that you are managing to accomplish at least one thing, and that is something to be proud of. There is so much pressure on us to be in denial about the reality of how fleeting life is, that as we age, we may look back and see how much we have let our lives slip through our fingers like sand. While you may think the problem is the other person—the anger, the pulling back —the real problem is the loop itself running on its power and running the show. Over months, or years, Joseph works with his clients to peel away the layers and find something deeper behind their discontents and identify new understandings of what really matters. And for Morgan, life without sex is an unbearable concept, because it literally means a loveless existence.

It challenges us to ask ourselves the hard questions that we must answer if we are to learn to value ourselves, reclaim our personal power, and live a richer life. However, if their desire discrepancy really is about a bigger issue, your couple will never be able to find an adequate compromise, because what's fueling it isn't being addressed. If either Reece or Morgan wants to do a little more relationship work on their own, then refer to them my recent blog post, " The Coronavirus Hurts Romance, Too. In your office, they each present their case and then look expectantly at you to say something intelligent. D., is a clinical psychologist, diplomate in sex therapy, author, and lecturer with over 20 years of experience working with couples.

It's easy of think of relationship problems in terms of what your partner is or is not doing and how to change them. It is easy to deny the reality of our own demise, but wisdom comes from confronting our own mortality. I'm going to walk you through several ways to deal with the argument you either just had or are about to have with your partner. It turns out that Morgan did feel unloved in childhood, and so the thought of repeating that trauma in adult life is simply too much to bear.

By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Seriously, a number of the specific challenges you describe in the “homeostatic seesaw” resonate profoundly with my own ups and downs. It is easier to pretend to ourselves that we will live forever, to deny the possibility of our own demise, and to just not think about it. Jenny, for example, is a 56 year old woman who was stunned when she realized that she spent her entire life trying to take care of men who could not take care of themselves. The first step may be to consider self-knowledge, truthfulness, and other building blocks on the road to personal growth.We are trained to know more about specific subjects than most other people and have every day work experience applying, modifying and adding to what we already know. Her insight was that she was filling a void left by an absentee father who was never there to take care of her.

Since surface behavior and deeper patterns of behavior are interconnected, when we effect a change on one level we also effect a change on the other level. Here you intentionally bring more positivity into the relationship—more compliments and thank-yous, more affection, more honesty by speaking up and saying what you want and feel. Perhaps we find ourselves pursuing careers and relationships that are not true to who we are, and living inauthentic lives, full of regret and sadness. Upon deeper exploration it was revealed, not surprisingly, that Bob didn’t like being controlled by a budget. We learn to enjoy the journey of life not only for what we achieve and its material success but simply for becoming ourselves and the excitement and challenge of personal growth.

Instead, we have two reasonable individuals presenting two reasonable arguments for their relationship challenge. This book is a rare gem - a masterclass in how to live a contented life - all told in Stephen's gentle caring voice.

THINK LIKE A THERAPIST will enrich the process of self-development for anyone in a way that is made possible only by his depth and wealth of understanding the human condition.Whether it is to untangle emotions or seek a new direction, this book will help you look at life afresh. Assuming things are going pretty well in your therapy room, then explore this same dynamic with Reece. I'm going to use a relatively popular argument I hear in my therapy practice, but feel free to substitute it for one of your personal favorite relationship struggles. By looking at patterns and behaviors, understanding yourself and your symptoms and striving for balance in your life you can begin to appreciate how a therapist thinks about psychotherapy.