It might be a good idea to try a hands-free orgasm on your own first before trying it with your partner. Either way, you should try to talk about a plan with your partner for how you see this experience happening. Firstly, begin by caressing your whole body. Those thighs? Give them some love. Gentle strokes, moving upwards, circling around your breasts – you do you. Add some lube: When you’re aroused, your body self-lubricates, making masturbation a much smoother and pleasurable experience. But sometimes, that may not be enough (or it may not happen at all!). So keep a tube of lube on hand to increase your pleasure. Shop for lube now. Gently caress your entire vagina, letting your fingers dance around, gradually moving closer to the clitoris. As a result, your vulva will get all wet and ready for the next step. Being the master of your own pleasure can be empowering. Master the art of shame-free solo exploration with tasteful video tutorials, follow-along exercises, and expert advice.

Especially if this is your first time fingering yourself, I highly recommend using some extra lube. Be sure to test any lube in advance by placing a little on the inside of your wrist and waiting 15 minutes. If there’s any itching or redness, don’t use it. If you can’t or don’t want to buy a dedicated lube, you can also try aloe vera gel (make sure it’s mostly aloe vera and doesn’t have too many other ingredients), coconut oil (if you aren’t prone to yeast infections) or sweet almond oil.Hogarth H, et al. (2009). Masturbation among young women and association with sexual health: An exploratory study. Why it’s awesome: “It provides much more access to all of the delicious bits between your legs, and when you climax, you can brace your legs against the chair legs. By exposing more parts of your vulva, you will experience some new — and sometimes even more intense — sensations than you usually do,” Katz says. Now that we’ve got pressure covered, let’s talk about rhythm. Rhythm is super important, no matter the fingering technique. Start with slow, deliberate strokes, then switch it up with a faster tempo. Get Creative The bottom line is that getting to know your body should be enjoyable, and fingering can be a great self-exploration tool in your arsenal!

You may need to use your hands to steady your toy. Ride your toy as fast or as slow as you want. At the same time, rub your clitoris or play with your nipples at the end of this solo session. Want to go wild? Try the reflection Your target? The cervix. It’s usually perched at the top of the vagina, guarding the entrance to your womb. The beauty of the stroke? It’s all about customization. Experiment with varying levels of pressure and speed. There are many benefits to using a toy that doesn’t require touch. “Hands-free sex toys offer accessibility for users as well, with the ability to touch oneself on other parts of their body or their partner during partner play,” Lovehoney sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, tells SELF. “Hands-free toys also [allow] more versatility in terms of the positions people can masturbate in.”

Most people use “fingering yourself” to refer to self-penetration, although a smaller number of people use it to refer to any manual masturbation of the vulva/vagina. To that end — let’s double the fun. If you’re up for it, gently introduce both your index and middle finger. However, as always, start from scratch. Enter, hold, and feel the sensations. Introducing a second finger stretches the vaginal opening a bit, so tread with care. If all feels good, target that G-spot again by curling both fingers upwards and applying gentle pressure on the upper vaginal canal. Wash them thoroughly and keep those fingernails short and neat. After all, we’re aiming for pleasure, not a bacterial party. Now that we’ve covered the basics of how to finger yourself, let’s answer all of your remaining fingering-related questions. A lot of pain—especially if you feel like you can’t get your finger inside at all—could be a sign of vaginismus. This is a condition where a woman feels pain with all penetration. If you are concerned about this, go to the doctor—it is treatable.

Orgasmic breathing. This is the practice of breathing intentionally and specifically to achieve orgasm for sexual pleasure. Using orgasmic breathing can also help elongate your hands-on orgasm. You can do this in a quiet, comfortable place. This method will take practice, but can be done with a partner, too. They also make an amazing first-time sex toy for couples, according to Andy Duran, the education director for Good Vibrations. Why? Well, for starters, they can be used to focus vibrations on literally any erogenous zone, he says—from the bum to the bosom and beyond—or for adding G-spot stimulation or clitoral stimulation to penetrative sex. Another bonus: Finger vibrators don’t look like biological penises. “For couples who are eager to avoid using representation toys, the fact that finger vibrators are nonphallic is a win,” he says. Externally stimulate the clitoris to help lubricate the vagina and prepare for penetration. Orgasm will make penetration easier but isn’t essential.Furthermore, gently insert your index finger. Let it rest inside, feeling the unique textures and warmth. Gently and slowly begin to penetrate your vagina. If you feel discomfort, try adjusting your angle; don’t push through pain.

Firstly, cleanliness is key! However, before you embark on this journey, ensure your hands are squeaky clean. Masturbation is a great way to figure out what you like and what feels good. You might discover that anal, perhaps a previously unexplored area, feels fantastic, and can then bring that knowledge into sex with a partner.

What If It Doesn’t Feel Good? Am I Doing It Wrong?

This all totally makes sense when you think about the lasting benefits of getting to know your body and what exactly will get you off in any given situation: You’re way more empowered to take control of your pleasure, whether you’re on your own or with a partner, breaking in a new sex toy or making use of your shower head or something else around the house. You also have the knowledge that you totally can control what makes you feel good and give it to yourself just-because. When it comes to the body itself, a normal cleaning without exaggeration or extra force will be more than enough. Don’t be intimidated if fecal matter appears during or after intercourse – it’s a natural to be exposed to small amount of visible or invisible fecal matter when engaging in anal sex of any sort. Simply wash yourself externally with soap and water, and you’ll be clean as ever.