On his side, dominated feel a satisfaction to see that their money contributes to the happiness of their mistress. In theory, a submissive gives his mistress the freedom to control her own money; and the domination of an unknown woman over her finances is just a kind of game that should lead to sexual fulfillment.

And if you really want to attract other gay men like him to the FinDom scene, CASHFAG, AJ suggests making an effort to find out gay FinDoms who are already online, diligently promote their content with likes and retweets, and—of course—sending your favorite FinDom(s) all the money you can reasonably spare. The trigger phrase will not work with others. Other doms may use the same words, but My file will only make you respond to when *I* have said or written it. Embarking upon the hypnotic dance of financial domination requires not only a shimmering self-confidence but also a deep understanding of consensual, ethical dynamics and the needs and limits of all parties involved. The world of kink is a wide one, and some kinks just do not make sense to people who don’t enjoy them. Whatever your feelings about a particular link, it’s important to remember that once there is enthusiastic consent between two adults and no grievous bodily or mental harm is being caused, then people should be able to practice whatever kinks they like.Dear CASHFAG: "I don't know why there aren't more gay FinDoms out there," says Master AJ, "but I'm certainly not the only one."

Slurs get used a lot in the FinDom/kink scenes," says AJ, "and they really can sound and feel different depending on the sexuality of the speaker." Meaning, for some gay men being called a fag by a straight guy in a safe, controlled and consensual ways — like during a cash draining session — feels more degrading (in a sexy way) than being called a fag by another fag ever could. "But other gay men prefer gay FinDoms because they don't like hearing slurs from straight men," AJ says. Financial domination, also known as findom, is a form of BDSM ( bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism) activity in which the submissive gives gifts, money, and control of their finances to the financial dominant. It is a form of power exchange in which the financial dominant has control over the financial submissive’s resources and can make decisions about how they are used.Slurs get used a lot in the FinDom/kink scenes,” said AJ, “and they really can sound and feel different depending on the sexuality of the speaker.” Meaning, for some gay men, being called a fag by a straight guy in a safe, controlled and consensual way—like during a cash-draining session—feels more degrading (in a sexy way) than being called a fag by another fag ever could. “But other gay men prefer gay FinDoms, because they don’t like hearing slurs from straight men,” said AJ. Finally, make it clear if there will be any incentives for paying off debt early. If a sub approaches you about doing a debt contract, keep a few things in mind. Financial domination can be practiced within an existing BDSM relationship or can be a standalone activity. If you have a partner or friends who are interested in BDSM, you may be able to explore financial domination with them. Both the sub and the Dom have to be enthusiastic about it for the relationship to work smoothly, though, or it could feel demeaning to one party. Be wary of subs who want to chat about debt for hours yet aren’t fast to pay. Subs frequently discuss debt when they are hot, and they frequently avoid discussing it when they are not, and you’re not out here to provide community service. I don’t know why there aren’t more gay FinDoms out there,” said Master AJ, “but I’m certainly not the only one.”